Still bullied!

[JDartistic]

you would think that after all of our experiences, we would recognize bullies.

Would you believe that I was just bullied, again...at age 52?

I'm sharing bc I suspect this happens to us throughout our lives, right?

So, here's what happened. But hold faith bc I fixed it, but I think all of you will understand...

So yesterday, I went to my car planning to go the grocery store. But I noticed my car was smashed! Someone sideswiped my car & not only took out my side mirror, but also pushed my car into the curb, bent my rear axle, smashed my door & front side.

But there was a phone # on my windshield, so after stimming for a few (don't ask), I called the number & left a message. I then called my insurance company.

I'm covered but here's where my Aspie brain took over. The guy who hit me calls me back & says he's gonna fix my car. I then say, well No, I need ur insurance info. He says, No, I will fix ur car. He then gets very aggressive & puts me in speaker phone. I hate that. I'm in a tunnel, knowing everyone is listening.

I then apologize to him & say something like, What do u need from me? & I tell him that I appreciate that he left his # & he's so good for doing that! He then demands that I bring my car to him. Luckily, my old brain steps in & hangs up! I go into mutism for about 15 minutes & follow my insurance companies advice & file a police report.

After stimming all night, I realized I was once again bullied by a total stranger whom I never met - & who totaled my car!

Good news! They track him down & he's liable for the damage. The Aspie side of me is still scared, bc he knows where I live (my car was hit outside my house).

Does this sound familiar? Am I the only one who goes thru this? & why am I older & Not wiser?

Just saying...& it just feels good to share this moment hopefully to others who might possibly understand, so I don't beat myself up further over this crap... Gesh.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Wow, that sucks about your car...but congrats on handling it well overall and getting your stuff taken care of. That's hard to do sometimes. He's a jerk and had no business insisting on doing the work himself.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

If there was an "admire" button, I'd click it. I liked your response to this situation.

Bullying never stops, and it's got several possible causes...this guy seems to have hoped that his insurance (if he had any) wouldn't find out, and was desperate to make you buy in. God only knows what would have happened if you'd trusted him...

I've been bullied at work, and it's still a crapshoot...it's not about me, or about you. It can be situational where someone just decides their interests are the only interests.

Keeping your guard up makes sense, but since you've already filed a police report, just practicing a little more situational awareness in case he does come around is good for you. But I don't think I'd assume there will be an escalation. Your mileage may vary!

 

[JDartistic]

The irony is this:
All I had was his phone number.

The police said it was classified as a 'hit & run' & despite him leaving a number, it was still an 'insurance matter'.

The irony is that I was all stressed out for calling him & trying to fix it myself. But he's with my same insurance company! That's how they found him...

 

[JDartistic]

If there was an "admire" button, I'd click it. I liked your response to this situation.

Bullying never stops, and it's got several possible causes...this guy seems to have hoped that his insurance (if he had any) wouldn't find out, and was desperate to make you buy in. God only knows what would have happened if you'd trusted him...

I've been bullied at work, and it's still a crapshoot...it's not about me, or about you. It can be situational where someone just decides their interests are the only interests.

Keeping your guard up makes sense, but since you've already filed a police report, just practicing a little more situational awareness in case he does come around is good for you. But I don't think I'd assume there will be an escalation. Your mileage may vary!

I hope u r wrong about an escalation.
That will send me into another autistic stim.

I hope that doesn't happen.

It's why being autistic is so hard.

Can't I win? Just once?

Time will tell...

 

[Ylva]

I wonder if most people default to bullying just anyone in whom the detect the slightest difference.

 

[Judge]

I hope u r wrong about an escalation.
That will send me into another autistic stim.

I hope that doesn't happen.

It's why being autistic is so hard.

Can't I win? Just once?

Time will tell...

For what it's worth, I believe you did win this one.

 

[ASD_Geek]

Sorry that this happened. That really bites! Good for you for handling it the right way! I hope that with him knowing that the police are involved that it will curtail any further aggression in his part.

Here's to hoping that it gets peacefully resolved soon.

 

[Judge]

Good for you for handling it the right way! I hope that with him knowing that the police are involved that it will curtail any further aggression in his part.

Exactly. The guy who hit him has a serious list of other concerns and people to worry about now. Legal fees, court appearances, having to remarket his non-renewed insurance policy and probably have to pay a$$igned ri$k premium$. He'll be up to his eyeballs with people he'll want to bully, but the reality is that he will be bullied by them for some time.

 

[AsheSkyler]

A lifetime of dealing with bullies doesn't prepare you for some jerk totaling your car, me thinks. True, he did do a good deed by actually leaving his number since without witnesses he could have gotten away with it, but he's still a butt for not letting his/y'alls insurance try to fix it.

 

[JDartistic]

An educated guess is that he's a cab driver. The police thought as much cuz here in DC the taxis are red & my car was scraped with red paint, the exact color of the cabs.

It is good he left his number but it happened in front of street cameras, so I think he did it for that reason alone...& the fact he tried to fix my car himself tells me it was a calculated move. He prob didn't want to report it to his insurance but at least I thought it through before falling prey to that. I tend to trust people, which isn't good, but then again, my car is leased so I knew I had to get it professionally repaired.

As a funny aside, my car is a bright yellow Beetle. It's not like he didn't see the car!

 

[JDartistic]

For what it's worth, I believe you did win this one.

Thanks Judge!

 

[JDartistic]

UPDATE!
I thought you guys would like to know that my insurance company tracked the guy down and he is cooperating with them. So, my car is now at the shop being mended. Hooray! AND they gave me a free loaner car, so all is well. Whew! And it just goes to show that things always balance out in the end.

thanks, everyone, for the support. Sometimes I process things better when I share and know others are on my side.

 

[ASD_Geek]

UPDATE!
I thought you guys would like to know that my insurance company tracked the guy down and he is cooperating with them. So, my car is now at the shop being mended. Hooray! AND they gave me a free loaner car, so all is well. Whew! And it just goes to show that things always balance out in the end.

thanks, everyone, for the support. Sometimes I process things better when I share and know others are on my side.

Sounds good. Glad that it all worked out!