Staying Out Of Family Business

[Riley]

Mom always tells me not to get involved or upset over things that happen to other people in my family. That it's none of my business. I just get REALLY concerned or angry. That's all.

Recently, I've been overhearing my mom's phone conversations. My other sister is going through...A rough patch. She sounds miserable in emotional and physical health. In part due to her marriage to a guy Mom hates.
The guy comes from a...Colorful family. Has a brother who Mom refers to as 'Uncle Junkie' and a sister known for her gossip. Plus, his Mom committed suicide recently while hopped up on pills.

Another incident happened while my older niece was down here. Did anyone reading this hear the news story about a Michigan boy who died at a party due to his friends' negligence? Said niece is dating this boy's brother.
MY brother, to let you know now, is a right ***hole. Tells my niece he hates Hunter (The boy) because 'he'll be an addict just like his brother' or something like that. I got mad. Calling me 'autistic' and belitting my intelligence and the things I love is one thing...

I was actually willing to to call my brother out on that. But I didn't.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Well anything that happens in your family is your business. But your mum might be right to say not to get involved in it, sometimes that can only make a situation worse when more people get involved and it tends to fracture a family, I think. Sometimes it's just best to watch from the sidelines rather than get more angry at people. I think it's a common misconception that telling people what you think makes you feel better, they're only retort with something else and it doesn't make the situation any better most of the time.

But by all means if you're directly receiving **** then don't stand there are take it. They obviously think less of you so don't by all means be afraid to show them that the feelings mutual for their outburst.

 

[Judge]

With all due respect to your mother, I don't think there's an objective answer to such a thing. So many variables (religion, culture, ethnic concerns, etc.) of any family unit to consider.

No telling how one family unit even within the same bloodline might react to such a thing. Where one might feel absolutely obligated to meddle in inter-family affairs where others may categorically reject the notion altogether.

I honestly don't think there's a right- or wrong response.

 

[WittyAspie]

Perhaps your mother is trying to protect you. If she has seen you getting concerned or angry over things you can't control, then she may think it best to shield you from those things.

As for your brother, poke him in the eye.

 

[Riley]

Perhaps your mother is trying to protect you. If she has seen you getting concerned or angry over things you can't control, then she may think it best to shield you from those things.

As for your brother, poke him in the eye.

I'd love to, but he'd kill me. No joke; He's threatened to and actually beats/hits me if I provoke him in ANY way. One of which is talking so loud he hears me through the wall.

 

[WittyAspie]

I'd love to, but he'd kill me. No joke; He's threatened to and actually beats/hits me if I provoke him in ANY way. One of which is talking so loud he hears me through the wall.

I'm sorry to hear that Riley. My heart goes out to you for your difficult situation.

 

[Adder1234]

I get told the same thing, but I think that it's a good thing that you care about the people in your family. That's the sort of thinking that leads families to fall apart. I always got told to mind my own business whenever anyone in my family was in trouble, now all I want is to leave as soon as possible.