Stammering when stressed

[Selcouth]

I don't have a stammer most of the time, but when I'm nervous or fearful about something, or generally stressed in any way, I tend to have a stammer of about medium severity. I notice this in just about any stressful condition, whether it's meeting someone new, talking about a sensitive topic, or a competition, though I can push it down to either odd pauses between words or speaking so fast my words are slurred.

When I took an online Aspie self-diagnosis test, one of the questions was "Do you stutter when stressed?" and that was said to be linked to Aspergers (though I'm not sure how.) Does anyone else experience this, and how do they deal with it?

 

[King_Oni]

I have the tendecny to stutter a bit if I get mad and go into a fit where I'm screaming at someone. Feels like my rage and anger is coming out way faster than my mouth can move... I skip words, I stutter... it's also a good indication for people to run for cover and hope I don't bother chasing them.

 

[Arashi222]

Yes I have a stammer when I get too stressed.. I tend to get overwhelmed and mostly repeat myself but yes its not really a stutter though. It only happens when I am beyond able to function in a situation.

 

[Christian T]

I always stammer and mumble whenever I'm saying something that requires careful thinking, or explaining something to a group. I always forget to keep up my volume and slow down my pace whenever I'm talking, because I get preoccupied with the content. The word "remember" is for some reason often quite difficult for me to say - too many bilabial sounds, maybe?

Also, I can never make eye contact with a group as a whole. I always find myself just looking at one individual, because that's less confusing. Although that may not be an exclusively aspie trait.

 

[2010Dolby]

Yes I do occasionally. I can usually fix it by postponing the speach and casually making a sound, like laughing or something like that. Then the words will flow easier. You should try that. It's almost like "retrying" the words.

And I just thought I'd ask this: I ONLY stammer when I'm slightly drunk. No, I don't mean slurring words. I mean I literally stutter when I'm slightly drunk. Why would a depressent do that?

 

[Christian T]

That's an interesting technique, I might try it myself. I also just realised that there is an advantage to stammering or mumbling: if in hindsight you wish you hadn't said something, it doesn't matter because nobody heard it, so you get a second chance.

 

[Selcouth]

That technique works for me as well - during debate competitions, if I get nervous or stressed and start stammering, I usually just stop in the middle of the word, take a deep breath, and start again. If nothing else, it usually loosens my vocal cords a bit and calms me.

I have that issue with eye contact as well. I usually disguise it by looking at background objects or at the speaker, but when nobody or multiple people are talking I don't know how to look at them. I try to look at each in turn, but then I find myself slowly turning my head in regular circles and either doing it too fast or staring at people too long.

 

[Christian T]

I find myself... staring at people too long.

Often I find that I get preoccupied with a thorough inspection of the speaker's facial features, if it's a one-on-one conversation, and am only slightly attentive to what they're saying.

I wonder, are you, or anyone else here, ever caught staring too long at someone because you've decided that you'd like to say something to them, but the words are taking their time in coming to you. I'm constantly pointing unloaded conversational guns at people.

 

[Selcouth]

I wonder, are you, or anyone else here, ever caught staring too long at someone because you've decided that you'd like to say something to them, but the words are taking their time in coming to you. I'm constantly pointing unloaded conversational guns at people.

I do sometimes have that problem, since I usually revise a sentence in my mind two or three times for maximum effect before I say it (especially in a humorous conversation), and during that revision I sort of turn off my eyes. But nowadays I'm careful to position my eyes to be staring off into the background or at the person who's talking so that it doesn't seem odd.

 

[Bay]

My voice becomes more and more quiet when I am stressed. I am always having to repeat myself.

 

[Christian T]

I do sometimes have that problem, since I usually revise a sentence in my mind two or three times for maximum effect before I say it (especially in a humorous conversation), and during that revision I sort of turn off my eyes. But nowadays I'm careful to position my eyes to be staring off into the background or at the person who's talking so that it doesn't seem odd.

Yes, I think I should try to keep more control over my eye contact as well. And about revising sentences, does that ever impede you when answering questions in class. It happens to me all the time. I'll have a half-baked answer in my mind, but will cautiously retain it until I'm completely confident with the wording and the logic, but then one of my classmates will jump in with the same idea, improvise their answer and get the credit.

I'm not too concerned about it, but I do often feel that my comprehension of the lesson is being misrepresented.

 

[Selcouth]

Yes, I think I should try to keep more control over my eye contact as well. And about revising sentences, does that ever impede you when answering questions in class. It happens to me all the time. I'll have a half-baked answer in my mind, but will cautiously retain it until I'm completely confident with the wording and the logic, but then one of my classmates will jump in with the same idea, improvise their answer and get the credit.

I'm not too concerned about it, but I do often feel that my comprehension of the lesson is being misrepresented.

Actually, that happens to me a lot. As it is, I don't answer a question until I'm absolutely sure of the answer. However, in class, I'm more fine with giving an answer that's a half-constructed sentence; the teacher's used to me either just saying the key words or giving a long-winded answer. It's when I'm with friends, making jokes, or at a party, or tutoring a class, or something like that, when I make sure each sentence has maximum effect. With friends, to me, it's nearly mandatory that I make them laugh with every sentence, so I think about things quite a bit before I say them.

 

[Christian T]

With friends, to me, it's nearly mandatory that I make them laugh with every sentence, so I think about things quite a bit before I say them.

That is actually exactly how my mum feels. She's not an aspie, but she was raised by a very domineering, traditionalist father who'd almost never let her socialise, so she's still quite insecure and inexperienced. However, she usually laughs much harder than anyone else at her jokes.

I crave the euphoria of making others laugh, but I don't put as much care into my gags as you do, so a lot of them are misfires, but some of them are gems.

I wonder, though, if your jokes are always so carefully crafted, how do you not miss the moment and get left behind in the conversational dust as the others gallop off to a new topic? That always happens to me if I'm not opportunistic enough.

 

[Selcouth]

I crave the euphoria of making others laugh, but I don't put as much care into my gags as you do, so a lot of them are misfires, but some of them are gems.

I wonder, though, if your jokes are always so carefully crafted, how do you not miss the moment and get left behind in the conversational dust as the others gallop off to a new topic? That always happens to me if I'm not opportunistic enough.

Actually, sometimes it takes me so long to craft a suitably funny joke that the conversation (especially a swift-paced, spur-of-the-moment conversation between teenagers) moves on to another topic, and my joke is useless. To remedy this, I often try to just say whatever funny phrase comes into my head, and if it doesn't make them laugh I try to append another phrase to it or something to pick it up.

I try not to laugh at my own jokes; I'm usually much too busy gauging the others' reactions to give more than a giggle (though I'm extremely pleased if my friends laugh at a joke that's not an unintentional innuendo.) I'm rather bad at breaking the silence, however; I generally spout a bit of information that only one person in the group will care about, leading to a short conversation between the two of us that again dwindles into silence. (However, I'm pretty out-of-the-loop in pop culture as well, so it's hard to gather information that everyone will care about and discuss avidly.)

 

[Christian T]

I often try to just say whatever funny phrase comes into my head, and if it doesn't make them laugh I try to append another phrase to it or something to pick it up.

That technique of persisting with a gag has actually always had disastrous results for me. To evade the comedic quicksand, I just surrender and play it down as a quirky comment rather than a joke. Also, you're choosing wisely in not laughing at your own jokes, that's just as dangerous.

...I'm extremely pleased if my friends laugh at a joke that's not an unintentional innuendo.) I'm rather bad at breaking the silence, however; I generally spout a bit of information that only one person in the group will care about, leading to a short conversation between the two of us that again dwindles into silence. (However, I'm pretty out-of-the-loop in pop culture as well, so it's hard to gather information that everyone will care about and discuss avidly.)

I can't stand those mortifying unintentional innuendos - (for goodness sake, how many sexual euphemisms do we need?) - or any of the other types of jokes that I make accidentally and blindly. However, me repeatedly asking them where they've spotted the humour usually quietens them with their own sympathy - it's one of the advantages of being open about your Asperger's.

I used to be terrible at breaking silences too, but I've become much better at it thanks to the confidence that my occupational therapist has instilled within me.

It's the chaotic chatter that I can never break, and I'm also out-of-the-loop in popular culture. Sadly, nobody wants to hear about the merits of the film Metropolis or listen to my linguistic observations.

Lastly, I also gravitate towards one-on-one conversations as they are much less confusing.

 

[BlondieSmith]

I sometimes stutter when reading aloud or meeting new people. I also can get a very high or low pitched voice

 

[CJinherPJs]

I tend to stutter when under stress too; it started when I moved from primary to secondary school. Normally I don't have a problem with speech, but when I have a period of high anxiety or stress it's harder to get words out. I normally get stuck on the first letter or syllable, then I realise what I'm doing and that makes it worse. But now I try to take a deep breath before I speak, and I have tried the technique Dolby mentioned; both have worked for me so far.

 

[Cerulean]

I don't, but my voice will sometimes go completely away. I had this happen this morning when my husband got mad at me. And of course then he wants to talk about it, but I physically can't speak. I always end up writing it down and showing him.