Speed dating event has been cancelled permanently

[Markness]

I just found out today the speed dating event has been cancelled and there are no plans to reschedule it. I was already suffering from disappointment from not hearing back from the museum if I will get a volunteer part and this doesn’t help me. I tried to be optimistic, I really did.

 

[Judge]

Honestly I can't imagine why you'd put so much hope on speed dating. Frankly I suspect it would be a disaster for most of us on the spectrum. Unless of course you see yourself as "the life of the party" who can socialize with anyone and everyone literally in seconds.

Seriously I suspect that you didn't miss much at all. Hang in there. Better opportunities may arise once the pandemic subsides.

 

[Markness]

Honestly I can't imagine why you'd put so much hope on speed dating. Frankly I suspect it would be a disaster for most of us on the spectrum. Unless of course you see yourself as "the life of the party" who can socialize with anyone and everyone literally in seconds.

Seriously I suspect that you didn't miss much at all. Hang in there. Better opportunities may arise once the pandemic subsides.

I would’ve gotten guaranteed conversations, something that doesn’t always happen in online dating. Can you really blame me for putting hope into it?

I will be turning 33 this year and I can’t even get a coffee date. Can you at least see why I feel distraught?

 

[GadAbout]

What has happened when you have tried to get a coffee date? Have you asked anyone out face-to-face, or is it only your non-success at dating sites that makes you think this?

 

[Markness]

What has happened when you have tried to get a coffee date? Have you asked anyone out face-to-face, or is it only your non-success at dating sites that makes you think this?

I have asked face-to-face. I thought that since the lady and I had common interests that my chances were good but she turned me down.

 

[Wolfsage]

Keep trying if this is what you want. In the meantime take a break and think out a good strategy for accomplishing what you want to do.

 

[GadAbout]

I have asked face-to-face. I thought that since the lady and I had common interests that my chances were good but she turned me down.

So you did this once, and then gave up.

 

[Judge]

I would’ve gotten guaranteed conversations, something that doesn’t always happen in online dating. Can you really blame me for putting hope into it?

I will be turning 33 this year and I can’t even get a coffee date. Can you at least see why I feel distraught?

You're putting all your hopes into a process that research shows yields an approximate six percent of success sexually, and only four percent relative to a long-term relationship. In such a contrived situation with so little chance for success, projecting any sense of desperation will surely work against you.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beautiful-minds/201012/speed-dating-is-it-worth-your-time

Stop looking for love and focus on friendship instead. Far less pressure and it gives someone the opportunity to see who you really are over time. And that they might just begin to like you. Where a friendship might just blossom into something more. But understand that real romance comes with no guarantees.

Conditions that made it possible for me to have relationships rather than to haplessly struggle with social institutions like dating which in reality are simply not for everyone. Something I've posted many times here over the years.

Though attaining a relationship is never a guarantee that one can sustain indefinitely. Something far more difficult that getting to "first, second or third base".

 

[Crossbreed]

Stop looking for love and focus on friendship instead. Far less pressure and it gives someone the opportunity to see who you really are over time. And that they might just begin to like you. Where a friendship might just blossom into something more. But understand that real romance comes with no guarantees.

You Can't Hurry Love, Phil Collins (1982)

 

[Thinx]

Sorry to hear this, but I think that attending a class or interest group, or regular events where you meet people, may likely be as good or even a better way anyway. That's the only way I ever got into relationships, meeting people as a one off isn't enough time for me to know if I like them, plus I would be rubbish at interacting because of the pressure and embarrassment probably. But you are more extrovert, so I understand why you wanted to try this, as it may have been a structured way forward.

There's other options, and even though you didn't hear back yet about volunteering, you could find voluntary work too, there's plenty of help needed. And it's another good way to meet others. I think it can take a while to hear back about volunteering, as organisations wanting volunteers may have limited resources.

Find something positive to do about this, don't ruminate on it. What will you do to further your goal to meet compatible others?

 

[Markness]

Sorry to hear this, but I think that attending a class or interest group, or regular events where you meet people, may likely be as good or even a better way anyway. That's the only way I ever got into relationships, meeting people as a one off isn't enough time for me to know if I like them, plus I would be rubbish at interacting because of the pressure and embarrassment probably. But you are more extrovert, so I understand why you wanted to try this, as it may have been a structured way forward.

There's other options, and even though you didn't hear back yet about volunteering, you could find voluntary work too, there's plenty of help needed. And it's another good way to meet others. I think it can take a while to hear back about volunteering, as organisations wanting volunteers may have limited resources.

Find something positive to do about this, don't ruminate on it. What will you do to further your goal to meet compatible others?

I’ve found the opposite to be true. I do poorly in classes and interest groups. I just don’t fit in no matter how hard I try to interact and be interesting. I am also not an extrovert. I am very much an introvert but there is nothing for introverts in my area so I was willing to go against my nature.

I actually heard back from the museum today but I can’t meet with them until the first of May. Until then, I feel like I am essentially a slave to the job I have and have to suffer seeing others enjoying social interaction while I have to get mentally punched in the face.

 

[Crossbreed]

Until then, I feel like I am essentially a slave to the job I have and have to suffer seeing others enjoying social interaction while I have to get mentally punched in the face.

Well, it's progress...

 

[Streetwise]

I just found out today the speed dating event has been cancelled and there are no plans to reschedule it. I was already suffering from disappointment from not hearing back from the museum if I will get a volunteer part and this doesn’t help me. I tried to be optimistic, I really did.

try your interests groups don't rely on one source

 

[Thinx]

I’ve found the opposite to be true. I do poorly in classes and interest groups. I just don’t fit in no matter how hard I try to interact and be interesting. I am also not an extrovert. I am very much an introvert but there is nothing for introverts in my area so I was willing to go against my nature.

I actually heard back from the museum today but I can’t meet with them until the first of May. Until then, I feel like I am essentially a slave to the job I have and have to suffer seeing others enjoying social interaction while I have to get mentally punched in the face.

Maybe you try too hard? But you seemed to do ok at the book group event you went to?

The 1st of May is only just over a week away. I wonder if your perspective is being affected by disappointment and/or depression. Is there anything you can do to feel better? Any friends or family about, to chill with?

 

[Markness]

Maybe you try too hard? But you seemed to do ok at the book group event you went to?

The 1st of May is only just over a week away. I wonder if your perspective is being affected by disappointment and/or depression. Is there anything you can do to feel better? Any friends or family about, to chill with?

Some tell me I try too hard, others tell me I don’t try hard enough. I did ok the first time I went but the last time, I got pushed to the wayside.

I’ve had a lot of disappointments going back to the start of the year so my mind automatically brings up fear of failure. I am currently sick with a minor cold and had to call into work for the second time to tell them I can’t make it. I suppose I’ll do some reading for enjoyment which is something I’ve been slacking on. My friends and family are usually busy during the week but I might see one tonight and hopefully I will feel better.

 

[Markness]

I really wish romance and love didn’t feel like rocket science for me.

 

[MuiDylan]

I really wish romance and love didn’t feel like rocket science for me.

Any speed dating events in the Sutherland Shire, New South Wales, Australia?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Hate to say I told you so but whenever an event keeps getting "postponed" after a few times it gets canceled.

You don't have it as bad as my Church is pathetic place to meet girls as I do going to events where there are all couples, all guys and the same girls who rarely show up, to make matters worse most of it is still done using Zoom which I hate.