Speaking up, when your voice feels mute

[Suzanne]

I am useless with more than one on one. But, sometimes, I drag my voice out of my throat and speak up and all I can say is that it feels like such an effort to do so. I feel panicky to the extreme as though it is truly being forced out.

The bain of being on the spectrum.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Group chats are tough. In trying to be part of the conversation I liken it to trying to cross a busy road. I'm forever trying to find the right moment, and often I miss opportunities. Or I think of what I want to say, but by that time the conversation has moved on. Also, there's often egos at play in conversations, and some people can end up dominating.

I just tend to slip into my usual observer mode. On Saturday I'm going to a wedding party. 6 hours in a room of strangers who will be drinking. Not sure how I'll do, but I've been anxious about it for weeks.

Ed

 

[Aspychata]

I feel l will say the wrong thing in a moment of being an idiot.

So l just want my mouth gone from my face. Or a little button to mute my mouth. I would put this on my phone. I could just take my phone and have said person standing in front of me look at the screen which would flash- *****due to circumstances outside of my control, I am on mute.******

This doesn't address your issue. Perhaps you are overwhelmed? I speak up now. However trying to temper the emotions with what needs to be said is tricky. I use to be very pushover, and not say anything. Not anymore.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I am useless with more than one on one. But, sometimes, I drag my voice out of my throat and speak up and all I can say is that it feels like such an effort to do so. I feel panicky to the extreme as though it is truly being forced out.

The bain of being on the spectrum.

I think there may be a misunderstanding here with regards to this phenomenon. It's my understanding that autistics, in general, are more likely to experience difficulties with group conversation. One, there is an underlying anxiety around social interactions,...and although, one on one, we can often engage,...the group conversation, psychologically, puts anyone in a situation where more than one person can "gang up" on you for any thoughts that might be interpreted as "offensive", "inappropriate", or "emotionally-charged". Frankly, most autistics, in general, are psychologically-socially-communicatively at a disadvantage. To further explain, during normal conversation, there are split-second pauses that allow room for "turn-taking",...and if done well, allows for a smooth back-and-forth. If you are one to not pick up on all the subtle micro-expressions, voice inflections, body language, etc.,...you might not recognize the "green light" for you to jump into the conversation at just the right moment. Furthermore, yet,...if the conversation is about a topic of interest or knowledge, there is the risk of us "monologuing" and taking over the conversation,...and when people are unable to engage in a smooth back-and forth,...people will physically leave.

I am one to sit out of group conversations, in general.

 

[Progster]

I experience this, too. I think I have a slow processing speed - by the time I've registered what they said and come up with a reply, the moment is gone. Someone else has already started to speak and they listen to them, not to me. When I have something to say, I miss the opportunity. I usually end up not saying anything and just switch off. It feels like watching TV - as if the conversation were coming from somewhere else, behind a screen. If I do speak, it feels strange and awkward. Group conversations are no good for me.