Bullies are not just children in a classroom. I ran into two of the worst ones, which were my teachers. I don't envy todays parents. It's harder than ever to protect your child from this type of assault.
Yes, Bullies become teachers, Medical providers, and yes Officers... They can be alongside of you in any job/any type of work. It's a prevalent defect of their childhood, a legacy that they are born into, the gift that keeps giving. They will pass it onto their children as well.
It's a dysfunction in many families, beyond repair so long as society does not address it. With all the tech out there, I am disappointed that I don't see an AI monitor in classrooms to pinpoint and report predatory behavior. Most of the school officials (who usually lack the skills or resources to deal with it) and parents (whom themselves are either bullies or married to the bully spouse) will not ever take it seriously, for to the parents at least, it is a normal part of their lives.
That said, I have experienced my share of bullies. Of course back then, they couldn't follow you home from school via social media, so my heart goes out to all the kids and parents dealing with this in today's tech world.
How did I deal with this, other than to try not to look outwardly frightened, and then when I sensed the temperature rise, navigate through a school door quickly to escape?
Oh, I did plenty of that! And I was so fr---kin fast, being skinny and petite, I flew like the wind.
Well, what really helped in addition to those chess moves I planned in advance, was my mom.
I literally had the best home life, if you didn't count in that we had lost my dad due to cancer.
She would explain to me how these kids were bullied at home, by someone, usually parent. Something was off in their mind to behave as such. I should pity them. I should distance myself from them, but never to the point of letting down a friend who may be in need.
And when all those talks between myself and her were done... She would surprise me yet again.
Here is a story I shall share.
Its a simple story.
I was in 4th grade.
My mom had witnessed these children of parents who embraced bullying. She actually witness a mother making up a name for me, so her child and her friends would have something to call me.
Later on that child that had been in hot pursuit, chased me home with her friends.
I had made it safely into our apartment. (whew) and snuck over to peak outside the venetian blinds, and sure enough they were there looking up.
A voice (my mom-who I thought was still at work) spoke up, and said What is this... and opened the blinds and told the kids, all of you upstairs right now, I know where each of you live, so you may as well come right up here.
I was mortified. I am sure I was shaking. Pure panic mode and frozen unable to even speak.
They filed into our apartment and stood in a line as she spoke to them. I couldn't even look at their faces. I just was glued to my mom, and her words, as she addressed my predators.
After a while I glanced over to them, just a bunch of shocked faces as she spoke to them.
She explained that they were certainly much better than this, how life works, and how something greater was inside of each of them.
She then closed the speech by asking them if they thought they could do better and if they were done chasing me.
They all nodded.
She then sat them down for homemade cake and milk. I could barely eat, but made a pretend show of enjoying the cake.
To this day I can only eat in the presence of those I actually like!
The chasing ended. Something had dampened their desire. What their parents and the school could not address, somehow my mother had.
The page turned and found me in my 20's with my children.
My son come home one day, from school about a bully.
I had a simpler solution. I am not as nice, nor did the opportunity present to speak to the bully.
All kids in the classroom were afraid of him. Teacher would leave the classroom unattended for
10 mins at a time, and another child would be victimized.
I told my son next time the teacher walks out and he has eyes on you, get him.
I said the other kids don't snitch on him and they won't snitch on you.
He came home, in a few days, bursting through the door...
Said to me I pulled him under the desk and beat him up.
All the kids watched and then he scurried back to his desk before the teacher returned.
My son felt quite satisfied with this. He kept reporting that anytime the teacher left he would stand up and look at the bully as a warning, no matter who that child looked at. No one was EVER picked on in that classroom again.
Shortly after, I witnessed neighborhood bullying of my son, and I took steps to empower him by signing him up for Taekwondo.
Within a month after starting classes, son's self esteem perked up.
About that time, I was talking with the neighborhood bully mom (lol) and her kid wanted to handcuff my child's hands behind his back. I told her and she laughed it off.
My son way too trusting, he allowed the kid to do so, and then the bully went to hit my son. Up came the foot, square in the bullies face, then the mother exclaimed look what your son did, he used karate on my son. I calmly said, I told you what he did with the handcuffs and then he went to hit my son while hands were behind back. What should he do.
Three different approaches.
Almost same outcome. All three bullies paused on future attacks.
Maybe the girls in the first group learned something? They probably remember my mothers pep talk to this day.
However,
Some of those girls tried to come at me again in High School but I had boys to protect me at that point lol.
Point being it's epidemic, it's not only a few people this happens to, it is a reflection of a sick society.
While we are learning about history, perhaps schools would benefit from lessons of compassion eh?
I would have loved to have been home schooled, shrugged.
Main lesson from this is you as a parent are your child's biggest inspiration.
You are their mentor, their friend, and their whole world.
No matter what is going on out there, with you, declared in no uncertain terms their team...
They will do more than survive this... They will win.
And yeah, until that win, I definitely recommend Martial Arts for those who are able to do that.
Even if it takes a private instructor.
I would have loved that, instead of ballet lessons!
Yes, Bullies become teachers, Medical providers, and yes Officers... They can be alongside of you in any job/any type of work. It's a prevalent defect of their childhood, a legacy that they are born into, the gift that keeps giving. They will pass it onto their children as well.
It's a dysfunction in many families, beyond repair so long as society does not address it. With all the tech out there, I am disappointed that I don't see an AI monitor in classrooms to pinpoint and report predatory behavior. Most of the school officials (who usually lack the skills or resources to deal with it) and parents (whom themselves are either bullies or married to the bully spouse) will not ever take it seriously, for to the parents at least, it is a normal part of their lives.
That said, I have experienced my share of bullies. Of course back then, they couldn't follow you home from school via social media, so my heart goes out to all the kids and parents dealing with this in today's tech world.
How did I deal with this, other than to try not to look outwardly frightened, and then when I sensed the temperature rise, navigate through a school door quickly to escape?
Oh, I did plenty of that! And I was so fr---kin fast, being skinny and petite, I flew like the wind.
Well, what really helped in addition to those chess moves I planned in advance, was my mom.
I literally had the best home life, if you didn't count in that we had lost my dad due to cancer.
She would explain to me how these kids were bullied at home, by someone, usually parent. Something was off in their mind to behave as such. I should pity them. I should distance myself from them, but never to the point of letting down a friend who may be in need.
And when all those talks between myself and her were done... She would surprise me yet again.
Here is a story I shall share.
Its a simple story.
I was in 4th grade.
My mom had witnessed these children of parents who embraced bullying. She actually witness a mother making up a name for me, so her child and her friends would have something to call me.
Later on that child that had been in hot pursuit, chased me home with her friends.
I had made it safely into our apartment. (whew) and snuck over to peak outside the venetian blinds, and sure enough they were there looking up.
A voice (my mom-who I thought was still at work) spoke up, and said What is this... and opened the blinds and told the kids, all of you upstairs right now, I know where each of you live, so you may as well come right up here.
I was mortified. I am sure I was shaking. Pure panic mode and frozen unable to even speak.
They filed into our apartment and stood in a line as she spoke to them. I couldn't even look at their faces. I just was glued to my mom, and her words, as she addressed my predators.
After a while I glanced over to them, just a bunch of shocked faces as she spoke to them.
She explained that they were certainly much better than this, how life works, and how something greater was inside of each of them.
She then closed the speech by asking them if they thought they could do better and if they were done chasing me.
They all nodded.
She then sat them down for homemade cake and milk. I could barely eat, but made a pretend show of enjoying the cake.
To this day I can only eat in the presence of those I actually like!
The chasing ended. Something had dampened their desire. What their parents and the school could not address, somehow my mother had.
The page turned and found me in my 20's with my children.
My son come home one day, from school about a bully.
I had a simpler solution. I am not as nice, nor did the opportunity present to speak to the bully.
All kids in the classroom were afraid of him. Teacher would leave the classroom unattended for
10 mins at a time, and another child would be victimized.
I told my son next time the teacher walks out and he has eyes on you, get him.
I said the other kids don't snitch on him and they won't snitch on you.
He came home, in a few days, bursting through the door...
Said to me I pulled him under the desk and beat him up.
All the kids watched and then he scurried back to his desk before the teacher returned.
My son felt quite satisfied with this. He kept reporting that anytime the teacher left he would stand up and look at the bully as a warning, no matter who that child looked at. No one was EVER picked on in that classroom again.
Shortly after, I witnessed neighborhood bullying of my son, and I took steps to empower him by signing him up for Taekwondo.
Within a month after starting classes, son's self esteem perked up.
About that time, I was talking with the neighborhood bully mom (lol) and her kid wanted to handcuff my child's hands behind his back. I told her and she laughed it off.
My son way too trusting, he allowed the kid to do so, and then the bully went to hit my son. Up came the foot, square in the bullies face, then the mother exclaimed look what your son did, he used karate on my son. I calmly said, I told you what he did with the handcuffs and then he went to hit my son while hands were behind back. What should he do.
Three different approaches.
Almost same outcome. All three bullies paused on future attacks.
Maybe the girls in the first group learned something? They probably remember my mothers pep talk to this day.
However,
Some of those girls tried to come at me again in High School but I had boys to protect me at that point lol.
Point being it's epidemic, it's not only a few people this happens to, it is a reflection of a sick society.
While we are learning about history, perhaps schools would benefit from lessons of compassion eh?
I would have loved to have been home schooled, shrugged.
Main lesson from this is you as a parent are your child's biggest inspiration.
You are their mentor, their friend, and their whole world.
No matter what is going on out there, with you, declared in no uncertain terms their team...
They will do more than survive this... They will win.
And yeah, until that win, I definitely recommend Martial Arts for those who are able to do that.
Even if it takes a private instructor.
I would have loved that, instead of ballet lessons!
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