Something like autistic spectrum disorder which isn’t ASD?

[Els]

Yes, it’s definitely like you explain about having 2 big informations at once or like having a toothache and a bellyache. But the ASD type things was far, far bigger of a deal than the sexual assault. I was way behind others in being social or knowing how to deal with people and I had a lot of trouble getting to college classes and then would zone out and not pay attention in lectures. And was about to have to out into the world and deal with people and sit at a desk to work or something. And here the only help I am getting for being so upset was whether or not I have repressed homosexuality or something seriously wrong with my brain because my reactions did not match the crime. I ended up not even trying to get a normal job and just delivered pizzas for a long time despite eventually getting 3 undergraduate degrees

Or maybe if people hadn’t misinterpreted, having ASD or whatever I have would still have resulted in me not being able to work at an office job or something. But I think I would have been more likely to at least try without this.

I know ASD is far bigger than any kind of trauma. I also had a tough life, and to be clear, any "traumatic" thing that happened to me happened JUST A MOMENT, and then it was over. Maybe not in my mind, but it was JUST a bad moment.
ASD is like all the time. Bad events happen just once, they aren't to be lived over and over again. Me too I find them less heavy to carry daily compared to what I suppose is autism (I know it's autism actually, maybe someday I'll be lucky enough so that it's official, I'll work on it 'till I get there, even if it might take 10 years or more, anyway it's obvious in me. I knew I was autistic since I'm 3 years old, I just didn't have the name for it 'till the past months. I'll get there someday).

Sadly, the help you'll get from most people will be quiet restricted, but there are also some pearls on the way. Some people also try to help you but they just don't know how to, so they might say weird stuffs. I think a mistake I've made in my life was to assume that people had to help me and then get upset if they didn't/couldn't. Well, now I let them free to do so or not and I move on on my own, it makes my life easier. I still totally enjoy people when it's enjoyable, and when it's not I just move on, I don't wait for anything else. I would hurt myself.
My life would've been different if I had been diagnosed younger too - and it was really totally obvious as a child. I think my parents didn't want me to get diagnosed because they feared the system. They hoped I'd grow out of it, which happened on the surface. But in the end, I don't know, maybe by not being diagnosed I've been protected from other type of bad treatments. Who knows.
I think you can work on getting a diagnosis in parallel of helping yourself by yourself. I personally prioritize helping myself as top, and I work on getting a diagnosis in the background of my lifeI find it more beneficial to think this way.

 

[Els]

Thanks for suggesting the video, I thought it was good explanation of autism concepts. It occurred to me during her talk that I would've thought of autism earlier if someone had told me how NT people's minds work, and not only about autistic symptoms. In other words, I know how my mind operates, I have no idea what it's like to be an NT...so it never even occurred to me that they were any different from me (until about a year ago). Different personalities sure, completely different experience of the world, no.

Me too I just noticed at 3 years old that there were other kids playing games and I didn't know how to play. But I had no clue it was because we're functioning differently. Now there's less mystery around it.

 

[Matthias]

I was in high school diagnosed with OCD and then I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders and ADHD. I can see why people think OCD, I am not sure about ADHD, anxiety disorders definitely fits. But the issue is something greater than this. I identify with a lot on here but don’t think that I seem ASD enough if went in for a diagnosis unless they listened to my historical accounts from childhood/early adulthood, because I have kind of learned to pass or something

With me, I would say that the thing I identify most with is executive functioning deficits. Like I repeatedly pay for gas then drive away without pumping the gas in my car because I just forget, I can’t be neat, I can’t do things like organize a vacation, I can’t organize tasks, basic things like going to the store and remembering to buy birthday cards are stressful, I have difficulty letting go of the past, etc

But I also have other autistic traits, like I hate wearing anything but sweat pants or cotton shorts because jeans bother me, I can’t look people in the eyes when talking, I have very strong interest, I hate change, etc. But I am not able to stand still or focus enough to find my place as a computer coder or something.

So I was looking through things and I noticed executive function disorder which fits in a lot of ways, but this isn’t a DSM thing. I am adopted and have met my biological mother and she said my biological father was abusive, so I wonder if I have mild brain damage or something

I’m just kind of curious what other people have been diagnosed with or think they might have which looks like ASD but isn’t ASD. I wish I had access to a DSM V manual, but I am not sure that would help. Sort of, honestly, I think a bunch of things that would look different if viewed through fMRI imaging of the brain get lumped together under ASD because scientists don’t know any better, and/or insurance companies need simple explanations or something.

But I am just kind of curious about what other people have been diagnosed with or how they fit but don’t fit or whatever the he double hockey sticks else

The term for what you're asking for is differential diagnosis. Most of them are treated with CBT so it doesn't make a huge difference which one fits the best. Here's a list of some of them:

• Differential diagnoses
  • ADHD
    
  • alexithymia
    
  • avoidant personality disorder
    
  • antisocial personality disorder
    
  • borderline personality disorder
    
  • narcissistic personality disorder
    
  • nonverbal learning disorder
    
  • PTSD
    
  • schizoid personality disorder
    
  • schizophrenia simplex
    
  • residual schizophrenia
    
  • schizotypal personality disorder
    
  • social phobia
    
  • compulsive (anankastic) personality disorder
    
  • obsessive-compulsive disorder

Source: The Investigation and Differential Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome in Adults

 

[Jumpback]

Me too I just noticed at 3 years old that there were other kids playing games and I didn't know how to play. But I had no clue it was because we're functioning differently. Now there's less mystery around it.

I have this kind of a vivid memory from my first year of school when I was probably 5 where these kids were playing with these action figures (dolls for boys) with each other and finding it very strange. I think my favorite activity at this time was racing marbles against each other by myself.

When I look back, sitting by myself racing marbles sounds awfully autistic, but this became kind of a sport to watch on YouTube during the virus, so maybe it isn’t as autistic as it seems

I guess the marble racing thing is maybe why it didn’t get addressed as a kid. I would do things that seemed autistic, but that weren’t autistic enough to fall completely outside of normal behavior

Another thing I did a lot, completely on my own, and I got pretty obsessive about this, was making paper airplanes. I had one which would kind of boomerang back and one for distance. Again, seems kind of autistic, but then could also be just normal.

I guess that someone should have noticed that everything I tended to do seemed a bit autistic. Maybe that’s a common issue for people with milder versions is that if you are looking for it you can see it, but you have to add up all the parts because each one on it’s own isn’t outside of normal behavior

 

[Jumpback]

The term for what you're asking for is differential diagnosis. Most of them are treated with CBT so it doesn't make a huge difference which one fits the best. Here's a list of some of them:

• Differential diagnoses
  • ADHD
    
  • alexithymia
    
  • avoidant personality disorder
    
  • antisocial personality disorder
    
  • borderline personality disorder
    
  • narcissistic personality disorder
    
  • nonverbal learning disorder
    
  • PTSD
    
  • schizoid personality disorder
    
  • schizophrenia simplex
    
  • residual schizophrenia
    
  • schizotypal personality disorder
    
  • social phobia
    
  • compulsive (anankastic) personality disorder
    
  • obsessive-compulsive disorder

Source: The Investigation and Differential Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome in Adults

Thank you for the list. With me, I have to kind of take parts of different categories to describe, then I have a different issue which almost has to be within ASD because it doesn’t fit anywhere else. Like if most people have to pack clothes for a trip, they’ll just kind of just pack them, but with me, I’ll become a nervous wreck trying to make a decision of which clothes to take and which to not take. Then, in the past, I have just given up trying to make a decision and packed too many so I didn't have to make a decision

I think the advice I have already gotten about making lists and yours about CBT are probably the best solutions there are. Just, unfortunately, I am starting this under immense financial pressure due to realities after girlfriend and I broke up

I kind of suspect that if I had found this site 2 years ago, I could have solved issues with girlfriend and started CBT and list making in an orderly fashion. But better late than never I guess

 

[Jumpback]

I know ASD is far bigger than any kind of trauma. I also had a tough life, and to be clear, any "traumatic" thing that happened to me happened JUST A MOMENT, and then it was over. Maybe not in my mind, but it was JUST a bad moment.
ASD is like all the time. Bad events happen just once, they aren't to be lived over and over again. Me too I find them less heavy to carry daily compared to what I suppose is autism (I know it's autism actually, maybe someday I'll be lucky enough so that it's official, I'll work on it 'till I get there, even if it might take 10 years or more, anyway it's obvious in me. I knew I was autistic since I'm 3 years old, I just didn't have the name for it 'till the past months. I'll get there someday).

Sadly, the help you'll get from most people will be quiet restricted, but there are also some pearls on the way. Some people also try to help you but they just don't know how to, so they might say weird stuffs. I think a mistake I've made in my life was to assume that people had to help me and then get upset if they didn't/couldn't. Well, now I let them free to do so or not and I move on on my own, it makes my life easier. I still totally enjoy people when it's enjoyable, and when it's not I just move on, I don't wait for anything else. I would hurt myself.
My life would've been different if I had been diagnosed younger too - and it was really totally obvious as a child. I think my parents didn't want me to get diagnosed because they feared the system. They hoped I'd grow out of it, which happened on the surface. But in the end, I don't know, maybe by not being diagnosed I've been protected from other type of bad treatments. Who knows.
I think you can work on getting a diagnosis in parallel of helping yourself by yourself. I personally prioritize helping myself as top, and I work on getting a diagnosis in the background of my lifeI find it more beneficial to think this way.

You mentioned things about anthropology, anthropology and archeology is another interest of mine. What I have tended to do in the past is illegally download videos of everything related to the history of animal life through even more main stream things like the BBCs “Time Team.”

Then if I see something interesting in the videos, I will start to research it further. Like, for a time, I got pretty interested in Neanderthals and human migration patterns and DNA mixture of Neanderthals and modern humans among middle eastern and European people. But also how there were different African humanoids under the genus Homo who might have even existed at the same time in Africa. And so on and so on

Like my version of this just makes me different from other people. Other people are going to like 4th of July celebrations in the US and watching fireworks and I not only am not very interested in doing this, but find issues like where to park and organizing people to go with to be extremely stressful

It’s not like I don’t want to be around other people, it’s just that there is this basic difference or something. I see no point in going through a bunch of stressful things to sit and watch fireworks and other people see no point in me researching Neanderthals or whatever

-

But then, in my case, stupid sexual assault things, has created this giant blockade that makes trying to get through to people impossibly more difficult. Like I can’t even see a psych or explain anything to anyone about my past without everything getting misinterpreted

Like I went to this 4th of July fireworks display with my ex-gf and her gay friends and I said that I was going for a walk and one of her gay friends said something like “don’t stray to far, there are gay men here who might attack you” in a disapproving sarcastic way. Like I had tried to explain things about my past and this got interpreted as I have delusional beliefs about gays and her friends were sort of outraged at my homophobia or whatever. But I don’t f’ing hate gays, it’s ridiculous. I just can’t explain anything about anything without everything getting misinterpreted

 

[Jumpback]

I know ASD is far bigger than any kind of trauma. I also had a tough life, and to be clear, any "traumatic" thing that happened to me happened JUST A MOMENT, and then it was over. Maybe not in my mind, but it was JUST a bad moment.
ASD is like all the time. Bad events happen just once, they aren't to be lived over and over again. Me too I find them less heavy to carry daily compared to what I suppose is autism (I know it's autism actually, maybe someday I'll be lucky enough so that it's official, I'll work on it 'till I get there, even if it might take 10 years or more, anyway it's obvious in me. I knew I was autistic since I'm 3 years old, I just didn't have the name for it 'till the past months. I'll get there someday).

Sadly, the help you'll get from most people will be quiet restricted, but there are also some pearls on the way. Some people also try to help you but they just don't know how to, so they might say weird stuffs. I think a mistake I've made in my life was to assume that people had to help me and then get upset if they didn't/couldn't. Well, now I let them free to do so or not and I move on on my own, it makes my life easier. I still totally enjoy people when it's enjoyable, and when it's not I just move on, I don't wait for anything else. I would hurt myself.
My life would've been different if I had been diagnosed younger too - and it was really totally obvious as a child. I think my parents didn't want me to get diagnosed because they feared the system. They hoped I'd grow out of it, which happened on the surface. But in the end, I don't know, maybe by not being diagnosed I've been protected from other type of bad treatments. Who knows.
I think you can work on getting a diagnosis in parallel of helping yourself by yourself. I personally prioritize helping myself as top, and I work on getting a diagnosis in the background of my lifeI find it more beneficial to think this way.

Also, you mentioned about assuming people would help you or something

Like what might happen with being undiagnosed or not having a framework to even attempt to understand or explain is that I think that I assume that others are at least a little like me and others assume that I am somewhat like them. But it’s legitimately just different. Like I just have no idea why people would be so driven to face traffic jams and impossible parking and things that would be very stressful for me to go watch a bunch of 4th of July fireworks, and others seem to have no clue why I do anything like being interested in something like Summarian cuneiform

Like other people care about going to summer festivals and fairs and I am researching the Rosetta Stone and trying to grasp all the implications from Napoleons imterest through effect on Egypt when people of Macedonian ancestry ruled Egypt for 3 centuries.

Like people don’t even have any idea what I am doing, but it always ends up seeming very suspicious and then they are out there making friends and building relationships and so on. It’s not like I don’t want these things, it’s that there ends up being this giant wall of misunderstanding

 

[Matthias]

Thank you for the list. With me, I have to kind of take parts of different categories to describe, then I have a different issue which almost has to be within ASD because it doesn’t fit anywhere else. Like if most people have to pack clothes for a trip, they’ll just kind of just pack them, but with me, I’ll become a nervous wreck trying to make a decision of which clothes to take and which to not take. Then, in the past, I have just given up trying to make a decision and packed too many so I didn't have to make a decision

That sounds like indecisiveness or rumination. Both of those can be caused by depression and anxiety.

I think the advice I have already gotten about making lists and yours about CBT are probably the best solutions there are. Just, unfortunately, I am starting this under immense financial pressure due to realities after girlfriend and I broke up

I kind of suspect that if I had found this site 2 years ago, I could have solved issues with girlfriend and started CBT and list making in an orderly fashion. But better late than never I guess

It's never too late. The sooner you start the sooner you'll get better and be able to improve your financial situation. There are free resources online that can help. I found the PsychologyToday.com website helpful although the quality of articles varies considerably depending on who wrote them and you'll never get nearly as much information as you can with a book on the topic. You can probably borrow self-help books from your local library for free. I recommend focusing on one problem you want to change and set aside time each morning when you wake up to read something to learn more about it.