Socializing at Work Becomes Draining

[Dillon]

I recently started a job working as a patient care assistant at my city’s hospital within the oncology and radiology department and one of the things I like about my job is getting to interact and meet with patients I come across with. I’ve had several conversations as I’m taking care of a patient such as during transporting a patient from one end of the hospital to the next on a favorite hobby, music or just talking about the day and that makes a day enjoyable for me.

When I’m meeting and talking with co-workers I find that to be a different story. I’m having to communicate with other doctors and nurses sometimes in a quick manner but how my brain works I need time to process the information for a bit. I had a coworker (patient transporter) get annoyed with me because I wasn’t understanding in due time of how to raise the side railing of the hospital bed while I was helping another nurse bring the patient from the stretcher and onto the hospital bed. “Hey don’t disconnect that cable from the wall” “you mean this one?, you told me to unplug it from the bed” turns out I unplugged the hospital tv remote instead of the hospital bed plug from the wall. Another occurrence in which you tell me something and apparently it’s wrong but in my mind I thought it was right until I think about it a for second and it was In fact a misstep I had did.

More often than not I find it a bit more comfortable talking to people who aren’t my coworkers as I’ve noticed at my job there’s more a direct, narrow minded, and passive type of communication but with patients it’s more relaxed and mellow. Then again I just started this job a little more than a week ago so it would be wrong still for me to judge completely but that’s just me personally. Anyone else feel they have a harder time communicating with groups of people than others? Co-workers vs a stranger outside of work?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I recently started a job working as a patient care assistant at my city’s hospital within the oncology and radiology department and one of the things I like about my job is getting to interact and meet with patients I come across with. I’ve had several conversations as I’m taking care of a patient such as during transporting a patient from one end of the hospital to the next on a favorite hobby, music or just talking about the day and that makes a day enjoyable for me.

When I’m meeting and talking with co-workers I find that to be a different story. I’m having to communicate with other doctors and nurses sometimes in a quick manner but how my brain works I need time to process the information for a bit. I had a coworker (patient transporter) get annoyed with me because I wasn’t understanding in due time of how to raise the side railing of the hospital bed while I was helping another nurse bring the patient from the stretcher and onto the hospital bed. “Hey don’t disconnect that cable from the wall” “you mean this one?, you told me to unplug it from the bed” turns out I unplugged the hospital tv remote instead of the hospital bed plug from the wall. Another occurrence in which you tell me something and apparently it’s wrong but in my mind I thought it was right until I think about it a for second and it was In fact a misstep I had did.

More often than not I find it a bit more comfortable talking to people who aren’t my coworkers as I’ve noticed at my job there’s more a direct, narrow minded, and passive type of communication but with patients it’s more relaxed and mellow. Then again I just started this job a little more than a week ago so it would be wrong still for me to judge completely but that’s just me personally. Anyone else feel they have a harder time communicating with groups of people than others? Co-workers vs a stranger outside of work?

The short answer to this is situational...it depends upon the people you are dealing with.

It may take you several months to a year to really get comfortable and proficient. In the mean time, you have to approach this with a sense of humor about yourself, be open-minded, and just learn. You can be critical and question things later when you actually have some experience. Do not put any stress on yourself to get things perfect at this point...you'll get there, but not today. Every time you screw something up and your co-workers call you out on it...and it will happen...just roll with it as a learning experience.

Working with the public often requires an open mind, a relaxed approach, and some empathy. If you're working in a hospital, you will be dealing with stressed, anxious, frustrated, angry, abusive, and grieving people...basically, people are at their worst and not themselves. That's the job. It's not about you...at all...but simply because you are there, they will vent all those emotions in front of you. Nothing personal.

 

[Tiffany Kate]

What @Neonatal RRT said!

It's the other way around for me. I also work in healthcare, and I loathe speaking to patients. I'm sure they're all lovely people, but it stresses me out. I think it's because the interactions are less predictable than with colleagues.

However, I do have one colleague who is exhausting to deal with. She is one of these sparkly, social people - and she is always ever so slightly condescending. Part of the exhaustion, admittedly, is due to the effort of keeping my temper. Last time I had to deal directly with her, I was wrecked for the whole of the following day (and had to finish work early because I wasn't doing work, I was just staring at work).

 

[Rodafina]

I’ve had the same experience, @Dillon. For years, I worked with elders. I found speaking to my clients to be enjoyable and interesting and only sometimes slightly draining. Speaking to my coworkers on the other hand was exhausting, confusing, and loathsome.

The same was true when I was working with children. I found it so much easier and less draining to interact with my students as compared to talking with the other adults I worked with.

 

[Judge]

It is a draining process. Not only to protect yourself against your inherent coworkers and competitors, but also to create a positive work environment around yourself for future advancement. Particularly if one works in a capacity where their job duties intertwine with those of others.

Where a much "weaker link" might easily undermine the job you do on a regular basis.

A dynamic I had to deal with for my entire insurance career. Always having others in the link of production who could slow or even stop what I had to do. So it became imperative to treat people as peers even if their responsibilities and tasks were considerably less than my own.

Yes, at times it was exhausting. Luckily not every job has such social dynamics to contend with.

 

[Outdated]

I found it to be a bit of a mixed bag, some people I worked with were great to get along with, but certainly not all. To me it all came down to social hierarchy - the hen pecking order.

I lived in a different world to many of you, I was a highly skilled and highly sought after tradesman and technician. A printer. All the really talented printers had a reputation for being highly strung and temperamental and socially quite odd. As a young bloke I didn't know I was autistic, I was just a printer and perfectly normal.

When working alongside people as talented and dedicated as myself I loved being at work, there was no social hierarchy. All of us were content within ourselves and had no need for approval of others - social standing. None of us cared. There was occasionally a bit of light banter here and there but mostly we just focused on what we were doing.

This was not all print shops though, not by any means. Through changing jobs a lot and moving around a lot I got to experience all sorts of social environments and in some places the social hierarchy ruled. This was especially evident in heavily unionised shops where people "demanded" to be paid the same money as me but without being prepared to put in any extra effort to earn it. Amongst these people that social hierarchy and their individual social standing within the workplace was pretty much more important to them than their job. These places were usually also at the cheaper bottom end f the market simply because anyone with talent didn't have to put up with a toxic workplace.

(our health care isn't tied to our employment and it's illegal here for employers to offer health cover as an incentive to employment as it creates a type of indentured slavery. We could change jobs without those sorts of concerns)

As the personal computer started becoming popular the market for printing started drying up. For someone like me that changed jobs often I had to start taking on jobs in other industries while I waited for another print job to come up. Mostly I did warehousing for large retailers because it was work I'd done all my life as a printer anyway but with none of the responsibility and the pay was reasonable.

In these places I struck exactly the same problem that Dillon and Rodafina talk about. I got along great with the customers and they all loved me but in that environment where social skills are most desired in sales staff that social hierarchy was there in full force. I had a really rough time working in those places.

I didn't really understand any of this at the time though, it took me years of sitting alone in the bush with no people around me before I began to really figure things out. I should have been able to figure it out sooner, I had enough hints along the way.

In the mid 80s I met our county's Prime Minister, Paul Keating. I was working for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation in Adelaide as their in house printer. I had just finished running an errand and came back to the main foyer in the front of the building to use the lifts. The entire upper management of the ABC was there all lined up and standing to attention.

The manager of the ABC Adelaide and his secretary, the manager of ABC Television and his secretary, the manager of ABC Radio and his secretary and the manager of Administration and his secretary. I had no idea what that was about so I hit the call button for a lift and just tried to be unobtrusive.

A government car pulled up out the front and Paul Keating strode in through the front doors. He was coming in for a radio interview. He took one look at them and then strode straight up to me and started pumping my hand. He said "Thank god you're here. Look at them all lined up like a bloody stair case.". I told him I was glad I could help and we chatted for a couple of minutes, he wanted to know what I thought of his policies. I asked him if he needed a guide to show him to the studios and he said it's alright, he already knew the way. Then he shook my hand again and walked off.

I was left standing there all by myself with the entire upper management all staring at me and none too happy.

Uncomfortable.

 

[Judge]

I found it to be a bit of a mixed bag, some people I worked with were great to get along with, but certainly not all. To me it all came down to social hierarchy - the hen pecking order.

Couldn't agree more. And how really good- or really bad some of those individuals could be, particularly if and when they ranked higher than me on an official basis. Quite the "mixed bag".

 

[Masked Man]

This is kind of more than socialization. There are things you need to be able to do and be actively aware of for safety reasons - your own safety, the safety of your coworkers, and the safety of the patient and their family.

It's your first week so people are going to be more forgiving, but healthcare is a beast and a lot of these professionals are in a hurry that requires efficiency and safety.

 

[Judge]

This is kind of more than socialization. There are things you need to be able to do and be actively aware of for safety reasons - your own safety, the safety of your coworkers, and the safety of the patient and their family.

It's your first week so people are going to be more forgiving, but healthcare is a beast and a lot of these professionals are in a hurry that requires efficiency and safety.

Agreed. LOTS of "agendas" in play. With some that may not be friendly at all.

 

[Masked Man]

Exactly. I work in healthcare - there are some that are not necessarily friendly - they're here to do a job, one that is quite complex. I rarely interact with those ones but I respect their work and their need for efficiency. Healthcare involves a lot of risk, so efficiency and safety is paramount.

 

[Judge]

Healthcare involves a lot of risk, so efficiency and safety is paramount.

Absolutely. With professional liability always at stake.

When you are responsible to numerous regulatory bodies watching your every move. From corporate and local overseers to insurers, the DEA, organized labor, and state bureaucrats who can revoke a medical practitioner's license. Having to play ball with so many people who can cause you a lot of problems. While always being expected to "build a better mousetrap" whether the revenue is there to do it, or not.

That's gotta make your head spin sometimes. Where some jobs are intense when it comes to social dynamics of every kind.