Socialising

[Lia]

Weed helps me a lot

 

[Bella Pines]

Good tips above. It's simple when you break it down into a few simple rules. The only real problems are a) applying the wrong rule or b) getting bored.

Some basic rules are
1) learn the script for greetings, such as "how are you?", "I'm fine thank you how are you?". Start collecting your own scripts.
2) smile and nod, don't try too hard. Ask an open question, them let them talk. Don't feel you need to contribute. NTs don't listen anyway.
3) lower your expectations. Social gatherings are a combination of expectation and herd like calming behaviour. NTs need people to turn up and exactly mirror their behaviour. It validates them. Don't bother trying to have a meaningful or intelligent conversation. Once you lower your expectations, you won't be so consistently disappointed.
4) write some scripts for silent moments. When the monotonous small talk stalls, use a filler selected at random. I categorise my fillers into broad groups like talking about the weather, complementing them on something mundane, bringing up a (socially acceptable) news story.
5) bite your tongue. Don't be fooled into thinking they ACTUALLY want you to respond. They don't. They want you to agree. If you don't they will randomly take offense. Smile and wave. Smile and wave.

The good news is that after 20 years of marriage, the NT partner that needs these pointless herd gatherings often gives up. I've whinged so much that my husband had stopped asking me now. He'll tell me where he plans to go and leaves it up to me if I come. I don't.

 

[I love roses]

I forget some of the rules sometimes or just can’t think that day so I laugh and joke that it is old age. Getting old is a cloak for many things.

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

Weed helps me a lot

what helps me:grand theft auto,to avoid interaction with certain girls & women my age,WWE to avoid interaction with girls back in high-school like a ninja,street fighter music (to avoid eye-contact with certain girls & women on the subway train like a ninja) & tenchu (to avoid certain girls & women my age in the neighborhood,on the subway train or on the street corner from outside a train station near a phone-store).

 

[Fade2black]

I have no idea what to say to people after the freindly greeting or introduction. So, I don't go to partys unless I'm forced to. The last party I went to, I sat outside in a lawnchair by myself while my wife talked with others inside. What I found interesting was there must have been another Aspie there. Because a woman, about 20, walked outside and sat under a tree by herself. I felt that we both noticed each other as the same yet neither of us said anything to each other. My wife said she was strange. My guess is, others said the same about me, too.