Social Issues at University

[Fridgemagnetman]

Jeez, I'm working on it, gimme some more time will ya?

You're a cat-alist

 

[Frostee]

Ok, thank you everybody, I will take your ideas into consideration.

 

[Homebrand]

For christ's sake! Seriously what is the matter with people. I swear to god this has made me personally outraged for you!

How hard could it possibly be for even one of the members of any other social clique to see you alone and isolated time after time for 2 years and not just approach you and ask you to join them.

I don't care their reasons and to me I very much doubt that anything you have or haven't done is the concern here. Honestly if these people cant see why they should have made some kind of attempt to approach you and ask if you wanted to join them, I think these might be the type of people that are likely not the kindest people to hang out with in the first place.

Please stop doing your own head in over this. Sometimes people are just not considerate of others around them. I think you've done as much as you possibly could in trying to cover anything that might have been an issue. I think if it has been 2 whole years now dealing with things remaining this way, at this point people are unlikely to suddenly take into account a need to include you.

This does really annoy me thought. I think your best bet might be to try anymore on from anyone and everyone you've currently been ignored by and try to join some other club of service or anything you can think of taking part in with a fresh scene.

Truely I'm so sorry that this has been your experience.

 

[Frostee]

Thank you, not a problem. Yeah, I thought myself that people were a bit rude in not being inclusive or inviting me out, it was a bit mean.

I realise that I need to approach people aswell, like everyone else says. But I think that, if it is obvious that someone is alone or lonely, people need to invite or approach them.

With a heavy heart, I probably won’t be going to that group any more. As you say, they probably would’ve taken the initiative at this stage (Don’t think they’re too fond of me, I don’t know why).

 

[techteach]

You wanted advice, you've received plenty, but you keep rejecting it. No one's obliged to fill you with joy.

What is annoying is that you continue to ignore several people here who gave you intelligent and excellant advice. You do show “disdain,” though you don’t think you do. If you ignore many people here who are trying to help you,

You do have narcissistic tenancies and you don't listen.

I feel that some of the criticism against @Realist has been unduly harsh.

I would never had been “harsh” if Realist had been decent enough to respond to

You just need to LISTEN

He asked for advice. He got abundance. He is not obligated to take it.
People only have to listen to others if they are under their authority.
People can take advice if they can step back from to situation and consider it completely logically.
People can take advice if they trust the giver.
In this case I feel he would have to trust. Honestly, he probably does not know any of you. And you do not know him. You do not know what is going on inside of him, and you have no right to judge him. If I give someone advice and they choose not to take it I smile and walk away.
I do not get upset at them because they don't understand.

There was a lot of good advice given. Next time just walk away. Don't write as if you are upset. It could make some of us weaker hearts afraid to post. I would have given up long ago.

If I am going to post here I have to believe that the others posting are honestly not understanding if they seem confuse with what I am saying. I have all the patience in the world with someone who does not understand. If I feel they are playing games... I stop.

 

[Fantasia]

Wow, I hated university...

I skipped on the dorm "introduction party" because I had a panic attack at the thought of meeting everyone. It didn't matter. My "mentor" never showed her face ever again. Also the other people in the dorm were loud, annoying sportspeople who kept coming home drunk. Friendship can be ruled out there.

I did the whole society thing because "gotta make friends" and let me tell you - you won't make friends when you go looking for them. Everyone gives me well meaning advice to try, but it either happens organically or it doesn't. It's more likely you'll slowly make some acquaintances among your classmates. Or else go to a society because you're actually invested in the activity.

University is painful and isolating and a large part of me wishes I'd never gone. It is a horrible place for introverts and people on the spectrum. I spent the entire time being deeply homesick and it reflected in my grades. So I didn't even get the qualification level I should have.

My advice is to look to do something you genuinely love. Get life experience. One thing I did that I don't regret, was going on a field trip to Africa. You're frankly also better off getting some work experience. Stress less about grades and get some employment references instead, plus some cash in your pocket. You'll feel better for it.

Also look into whether your university has a counselling service. A counsellor is a good 'friend'.