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So I am having guests over more often now.

Metalhead

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
I usually keep my place clean, tidy and uncluttered these days.

It seems like my mother is obsessed with how my house looks too much "like a dorm room" and that she really wants me to get rid of my framed movie posters and anime figurines that I decorated my place with, but I am not listening to her unsolicited advice there since she is not paying my rent.

She tells me that all of my friends hate my decor, too, and that they just are not saying anything to me just to be polite.

Odd, since my friends told me they thought my posters kicked ass and that they liked my decor, kinda because their wives would never allow them to decorate their homes like that. Heh.
 
Sounds like one more way in which your mother is trying to control your life. Glad you can start to see through her false words now.
 
Never decorate a home as your parents would have done.

THAT'S A RULE !

You'll never see one piece of Colonial American style furniture in my home. Nope-nope-nope. :rolleyes:

Living Room.jpg
 
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Your mom doesn't need to concern herself with your friends. Give me a break. Sounds like my mom that actually researched a guy l went out with. Now this is a mother who doesn't give a rat's ass about me. I never hear much from her, yet she has time to research my info? So over people who are busy bodies because of what? Oh boy, l am on a rant. Lol
 
Aspychata said:
Your mom doesn't need to concern herself with your friends. Give me a break. Sounds like my mom that actually researched a guy l went out with. Now this is a mother who doesn't give a rat's ass about me. I never hear much from her, yet she has time to research my info? So over people who are busy bodies because of what? Oh boy, l am on a rant. Lol
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My mother recently told me she was very concerned about the health of one of my friends, who happens to be a trans woman. She claimed that taking hormones was a bad idea for a trans person and that she was messing up her health for a fetish. And she claims to not be transphobic while making statements like that.
 
A normal healthy relationship with a adult child is to stay out of their business. I never ask my daughter about her friends. Sometimes she volunteers info, and that's for her decide. Parenting 101. You are a grown adult. You hold a responsible position, you pay rent. You take care of your obligations. You have free will in this world. I don't care what your mom says. You make your choices without her help, (as if she has been helpful, not).
 
Aspychata said:
A normal healthy relationship with an adult child is to stay out of their business. I never ask my daughter about her friends. Sometimes she volunteers info, and that's for her decide. Parenting 101.
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Yeah, my mother is offended because I won’t give her the phone numbers of my friends. She has issues.
 
That's just nasty. She is nasty. My friends would be so shocked if my mom called them. No way. Your mom has very unhealthy behaviors. No wonder you had to separate yourself from her.
 
You have come really far, and you question your mother's pushy controlling behaviors, and your reality is changing, because you are less dependent on her. Freedom is okay, making your own choices that aren't dripping with guilt, and control tripping from a toxic mother figure is something you are starting to accept as your reality. Welcome to the real world. It's okay, you can make mistakes, just pick yourself up, and keep moving forward. And don't forget to acknowledge your successes. These are all milestones. Maybe take a date and celebrate as the time you took control of your life back. Maybe when you moved out of your family's house.
 
Yeah, I had a friend over yesterday, and we watched Unicorn Wars together. My place was cleaned up specially for this friend. We split a frozen pizza and drank Diet Dr Pepper. It was fun.
 
My mother seriously wants me to think of myself as a bull and of the world around me as a never ending china shop. She is always telling me I am making everybody uncomfortable with every breath I take.

The friends of mine who have met my mother have confirmed it is not just my imagination - she really does love putting me down casually.
 
Ya know, I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better during these times when her behavior is getting to you.

I mean good grief, she sounds just... incredibly frustrating to be around. I dont think there's been even one positive story you've told about her.

Do you have like, anything you do as a bit of a mood boost after those times of having to deal with her? Like something to counterbalance those interactions.
 
Metalhead said:
Odd, since my friends told me they thought my posters kicked ass and that they liked my decor, kinda because their wives would never allow them to decorate their homes like that. Heh.
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True story. I can't count how many times my decor ideas have been shot down, execution-style.
 
In a perfect world, I would live in the Addams Family house...or with that Christine McConnell lady because her house looks awesome, too.
 
Some people I have dated, it had bothered them they I wasn't more clutter free. So, it can be hard to get involved with someone else, but as friends, you are either okay with it . . . or you aren't and then you leave that person alone or just don't go to their place. Or maybe offer to help them clean and the other person has a right to accept or not.

I can understand why it can be good to support good clutter free habits, but many of us have certain desires and things we don't want to let go of if we don't have to either, etc.
 
In a perfect world, I would have a large room decked out like a disco dance hall, complete with the lights in the floor and the mirrorball on the ceiling.

My landlord might not like that, though.
 
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