Small talk

[stefanos108]

Well said. It may the sheer amount of small talk that tends to overwhelm me. Certainly it serves a purpose, since people tend to commit actions that have some kind of payoff. I'm happy it works for them.

 

[Ambi]

I really don't like small talk. I find it hard to understand exactly what they want in an answer. Personally, I find that it seems that the response they want is an insincere one. It is kind of like asking someone if they like your cooking and they say, "yes" but really they can't stand it. Maybe there is a reason for this. Maybe it helps to say something less truthful so the other person doesn't feel damaged by the whole truth. The question is how do strike a balance? I really don't like being fake because for of my life, I have lived a lie. I am like a chameleon. I really don't like standing out but it seems no matter what I will, so I must embrace it. How do you give a little during small talk, without losing your identity in the process?

So I've read that small talk is one of those things where the important info being transferred in't exactly what is being said, it's what's "in between the lines". So they are establishing friendliness, boundaries, sharing info on what group they are a part of, and status. Blah, blah, blah - boring! to me anyway. But what throws me is that some people expect it, and other people don't. With other aspies, I know if they don't, it's fine. But when I run into people who don't engage in it with me otherwise, I believe it is their way of denoting that they don't respect me. So if people are engaging in small talk with you, at least know and appreciate that they are doing so out of an inherent sense of respect for you