Hopeless_Aspie_Guy
Well-Known Member
I'm glad I offer support on here at times because unfortunately I'm asking for advise on the dilemma below.
Ok so basically this girl in a store (I merchandise stuff in weekly for the past few weeks) remembered my name and was recently using it to address me (so rather than hi or bye (like everyone else says) it was instead “Hi Adam” and “bye Adam” and she wanted me to remember her name (which I did). Admittedly I was initiating some of these conversations, but she seemed to be joking along just fine and possibly indicating to me a shared interest (perhaps romantically). So against my better wishes and judgement I returned to the store today and approached her as she was coming out of the back area of the store (she had no reason to expect me to return in that week as my calls are weekly). I asked if we could just go out the back as I wanted to ask her something and when we got out to the back my words were- "So i made the mistake yesterday by leaving without your phone number and the hope that we might go out some time". She responded “Yer sure". She sort of seemed enthusiastic, certainly not disinterested but she doesn't know her mobile number off by heart (her phone would be upstairs in her locker I assume) and because i didn't have my bag on me i had no paper to write mine down (once I'd offered to give that to her). So she said I could give it to her another time but when I asked when she was working she didn't know when (which may or may not have been true) for me to next see her. So i said- "This isn't a brush of is it because if you're not interested then you can just tell me......" to which she interrupted with "No no its just.." and then she said something insignificant that I’ve forgotten.
So i told her I'd just get it done next time i came in and on days i know she normally works.
As much as I genuinely just wished I’d have listened to myself and just not bothered meddling in something I’m not supposed to be a part of, I now am and I’ve got to wait until the coming weekend to get some kind of answer. Now I’m sorry but the one thing I hate women for (or perhaps it’s all NT’s irrespective of gender) is that instead of giving me a gentle let down (which part of me wonders if she had wanted to do) I get fed bullsh*t which only raises hopes over the week only for me to never get that conclusive answer from which I must quickly extrapolate that she’s probably not interested so as not to keep trying to get an answer from her. It is of course possible that everything she said was exactly as she said it (no sidetracking B.S) but I need to somehow now get as conclusive an answer as I can (assuming it’s even possible for her to do that, though I can’t see why). I want to get her to basically just emphasize that if she’s not interested then can she please (however gently she feels comfortable to say it) just say it and that there’ll be no hard feelings (as I respect her decision, if not her methods of answering).
How do I get a conclusive answer without making it seem to her like I don’t have confidence in myself or that I’m not being too pushy for a direct and honest yes/no answer?
You’re not supposed to talk about negatives too much in these situations, but I feel as though if I don’t, that I’ll have to just quit so as to save face.
Ok so basically this girl in a store (I merchandise stuff in weekly for the past few weeks) remembered my name and was recently using it to address me (so rather than hi or bye (like everyone else says) it was instead “Hi Adam” and “bye Adam” and she wanted me to remember her name (which I did). Admittedly I was initiating some of these conversations, but she seemed to be joking along just fine and possibly indicating to me a shared interest (perhaps romantically). So against my better wishes and judgement I returned to the store today and approached her as she was coming out of the back area of the store (she had no reason to expect me to return in that week as my calls are weekly). I asked if we could just go out the back as I wanted to ask her something and when we got out to the back my words were- "So i made the mistake yesterday by leaving without your phone number and the hope that we might go out some time". She responded “Yer sure". She sort of seemed enthusiastic, certainly not disinterested but she doesn't know her mobile number off by heart (her phone would be upstairs in her locker I assume) and because i didn't have my bag on me i had no paper to write mine down (once I'd offered to give that to her). So she said I could give it to her another time but when I asked when she was working she didn't know when (which may or may not have been true) for me to next see her. So i said- "This isn't a brush of is it because if you're not interested then you can just tell me......" to which she interrupted with "No no its just.." and then she said something insignificant that I’ve forgotten.
So i told her I'd just get it done next time i came in and on days i know she normally works.
As much as I genuinely just wished I’d have listened to myself and just not bothered meddling in something I’m not supposed to be a part of, I now am and I’ve got to wait until the coming weekend to get some kind of answer. Now I’m sorry but the one thing I hate women for (or perhaps it’s all NT’s irrespective of gender) is that instead of giving me a gentle let down (which part of me wonders if she had wanted to do) I get fed bullsh*t which only raises hopes over the week only for me to never get that conclusive answer from which I must quickly extrapolate that she’s probably not interested so as not to keep trying to get an answer from her. It is of course possible that everything she said was exactly as she said it (no sidetracking B.S) but I need to somehow now get as conclusive an answer as I can (assuming it’s even possible for her to do that, though I can’t see why). I want to get her to basically just emphasize that if she’s not interested then can she please (however gently she feels comfortable to say it) just say it and that there’ll be no hard feelings (as I respect her decision, if not her methods of answering).
How do I get a conclusive answer without making it seem to her like I don’t have confidence in myself or that I’m not being too pushy for a direct and honest yes/no answer?
You’re not supposed to talk about negatives too much in these situations, but I feel as though if I don’t, that I’ll have to just quit so as to save face.