Should I try to get my Aspie back?

[May Black]

This is all wonderful news, I'm very happy for you and I'll keep my fingers crossed that things will work out for the two of you in the end.
Keep us updated!

 

[Plumeria]

I have too much of my own drama going on to even have a chance for anything romantic so know that I'm living through you.

I hope you are ok?

His sister just texted me to ask if I can drive her to the airport tomorrow morning, which means that I have to go to his condo to pick her up! OMG

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I hope you are ok?

His sister just texted me to ask if I can drive her to the airport tomorrow morning, which means that I have to go to his condo to pick her up! OMG

Is he gonna be there?

 

[Plumeria]

Is he gonna be there?

He should be there, I'm already nervous!!

 

[Grumpy Cat]

He should be there, I'm already nervous!!

This is getting too good!

Better go pick out what you're gonna wear and how you'll wear your hair. I think his sister is doing this for a reason so take good advantage of it.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

He should be there, I'm already nervous!!

Why isn't he driving her?

 

[Plumeria]

This is getting too good!

Better go pick out what you're gonna wear and how you'll wear your hair. I think his sister is doing this for a reason so take good advantage of it.

Yes, I have his family on my side… so thankful. I dont know if I am going to see him, I may not go into the condo and just meet her outside, but of course I'll be ready. OMG

He can't drive her because he has to go to work. I use to pick her up and drive her to the airport when he and I were still together, so this is not out of the ordinary.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Yes, I have his family on my side… so thankful. I dont know if I am going to see him, I may not go into the condo and just meet her outside, but of course I'll be ready. OMG

He can't drive her because he has to go to work. I use to pick her up and drive her to the airport when he and I were still together, so this is not out of the ordinary.

Get there early.

Doing this is a big favor to him and his family cause you two aren't together now. He should actually be there and thank you for going out of your way.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Get there early.

Doing this is a big favor to him and his family cause you two aren't together now. He should actually be there and thank you for going out of your way.

But if he's an Aspie, don't be surprised if he forgets to verbalize a thank you.
(I'm the worst at that. I will think about how nice someone is being, but will forget to say so).

 

[Plumeria]

Get there early.

Doing this is a big favor to him and his family cause you two aren't together now. He should actually be there and thank you for going out of your way.

She will be there at 7:30, thats when he is getting ready for work. I know him, he is focused and not in the best of moods in the morning especially when he has to leave so chances are he is not going to say anything. Anyway, he never thanked me for all the things I did for his mom and sister when we were together! Its ok, I know he appreciates what I do for him and his family, even if he doesn't say it.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

She will be there at 7:30, thats when he is getting ready for work. I know him, he is focused and not in the best of moods in the morning especially when he has to leave so chances are he is not going to say anything. Anyway, he never thanked me for all the things I did for his mom and sister when we were together! Its ok, I know he appreciates what I do for him and his family, even if he doesn't say it.

Dude! I don't care if he's getting ready for work or not. He hasn't seen you for a while. If he doesn't come out and say "hi", Aspie or no Aspie I would be done. That's just common courtesy and his sister can tell him that.

 

[Ste11aeres]

She will be there at 7:30, thats when he is getting ready for work. I know him, he is focused and not in the best of moods in the morning especially when he has to leave so chances are he is not going to say anything. Anyway, he never thanked me for all the things I did for his mom and sister when we were together! Its ok, I know he appreciates what I do for him and his family, even if he doesn't say it.

In the early morning, I do not want to let any words out of my mouth. It doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood, I just don't want to talk.
If you are able to understand that he is grateful despite all that, you are amazing, and it is no wonder you are the person he was with for longer than anyone else!

 

[Grumpy Cat]

In the early morning, I do not want to let any words out of my mouth. It doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood, I just don't want to talk.
If you are able to understand that he is grateful despite all that, you are amazing, and it is no wonder you are the person he was with for longer than anyone else!

If you were him, Ste11aeres, would you go out and say "hello"?

 

[Ste11aeres]

If you were him, Ste11aeres, would you go out and say "hello"?

It would depend on what I was feeling...I might be shy because of the fact that we were broken up. In that case, I might try to surreptitiously watch, and be aware of where she was and what she was doing (it would be a he in my case), but I might hide. Or maybe I would be feeling bolder, and go out and say something. It would depend...So I'm not making any predictions. Plumeria knows him best and is probably the best one to guess at what he will do.

 

[Ste11aeres]

It would depend on what I was feeling...I might be shy because of the fact that we were broken up. In that case, I might try to surreptitiously watch, and be aware of where she was and what she was doing (it would be a he in my case), but I might hide. Or maybe I would be feeling bolder, and go out and say something. It would depend...So I'm not making any predictions. Plumeria knows him best and is probably the best one to guess at what he will do.

LIke you, I am hoping he will greet her. But based on the fact that he sounds so much like my Aspie male best friend, it could be that he tries to stay hidden if he feels awkward about the fact that they are broken up. At least, that's the kind of thing that's most similar to the actions of my best friend during a time in the past when there were some difficult circumstances in our relationship. Or maybe he will greet her. We won't know exactly what he does until tomorrow comes and he actually does it.
(this kind of thing is why we Aspies are so unsuccessful in relationships! Even when we really love the person)

 

[Grumpy Cat]

It would depend on what I was feeling...I might be shy because of the fact that we were broken up. In that case, I might try to surreptitiously watch, and be aware of where she was and what she was doing (it would be a he in my case), but I might hide. Or maybe I would be feeling bolder, and go out and say something. It would depend...So I'm not making any predictions. Plumeria knows him best and is probably the best one to guess at what he will do.

That's too bad if he doesn't say something. Nothing can happen out of that.

You know I saw my college algebra teacher on the last day of school this week (he's the one that made me come to this site thinking he had Asperger's) and I was looking right at him but he could not even look at me. He walked past and had his head turned to the wall. I know he liked me cause he just did too many things for me that no teacher would do. I know he probably couldn't say or do anything anyway because I'm a student, but still. It's just such a waste. I still remember this funny thing that happened in class when he said there was this problem he wasn't going to explain because no one had asked him to explain it the whole day, so I just went ahead and said "Could you explain that please?" He reminded me of an Aspie because he actually went through the whole problem (in depth) to the point that none of us understood it and it took like 10 minutes! He was having a little problem figuring it out at one point, but he was not going to stop until he figured it out - he didn't care if it took the whole class! It was like he was in his own little world when he was doing it. Good times. He would answer all my emails within 5 min - even at night! I mean like at 1am! No matter what time of day, he was there and answered my emails. I sent 245 emails. He had to have liked me. I just don't understand it. My friend Julia said it sounded like he's just too shy. What a waste.

 

[Plumeria]

It would depend on what I was feeling...I might be shy because of the fact that we were broken up. In that case, I might try to surreptitiously watch, and be aware of where she was and what she was doing (it would be a he in my case), but I might hide. Or maybe I would be feeling bolder, and go out and say something. It would depend...So I'm not making any predictions. Plumeria knows him best and is probably the best one to guess at what he will do.

The only reason I dont think he'll come out and say anything is because the mornings are usually a chaotic, rushing time for him. He has his routine so coming out to say hi would mess up the routine. If it wasn't a work day and he was off, he would probably say hello but I'm not counting on it tomorrow morning. It wouldn't be something personal against me, its just how he works in the morning. When we were together I would often help him by taking out the dog or help prepare his lunch while he got ready because he had no time for anything … he's rush rush rush.

 

[Ste11aeres]

The only reason I dont think he'll come out and say anything is because the mornings are usually a chaotic, rushing time for him. He has his routine so coming out to say hi would mess up the routine. If it wasn't a work day and he was off, he would probably say hello but I'm not counting on it tomorrow morning. It wouldn't be something personal against me, its just how he works in the morning. When we were together I would often help him by taking out the dog or help prepare his lunch while he got ready because he had no time for anything … he's rush rush rush.

A pity we don't have any of the male Aspie members on this site chiming into this conversation. They can be pretty funny. (I'm Aspie too, but sometimes us Aspie girls are a little different than the guys )

 

[Ste11aeres]

That's too bad if he doesn't say something. Nothing can happen out of that.

You know I saw my college algebra teacher on the last day of school this week (he's the one that made me come to this site thinking he had Asperger's) and I was looking right at him but he could not even look at me. He walked past and had his head turned to the wall. I know he liked me cause he just did too many things for me that no teacher would do. I know he probably couldn't say or do anything anyway because I'm a student, but still. It's just such a waste. I still remember this funny thing that happened in class when he said there was this problem he wasn't going to explain because no one had asked him to explain it the whole day, so I just went ahead and said "Could you explain that please?" He reminded me of an Aspie because he actually went through the whole problem (in depth) to the point that none of us understood it and it took like 10 minutes! He was having a little problem figuring it out at one point, but he was not going to stop until he figured it out - he didn't care if it took the whole class! It was like he was in his own little world when he was doing it. Good times. He would answer all my emails within 5 min - even at night! I mean like at 1am! No matter what time of day, he was there and answered my emails. I sent 245 emails. He had to have liked me. I just don't understand it. My friend Julia said it sounded like he's just too shy. What a waste.

He probably felt awkward, since you are a student, but, yes, that is a little sad.
(the reason I marked your post as funny was because of that story about the problem...)

 

[CheshireGrin]

Plumeria, I have the greatest respect for your patience and persistence - sounds like you've gotten some really positive signs from this guy! I'm excited for you and hope the best!!

I fear my insecurity fights with my patience most times and makes me blind to what my AS "partner" is feeling or trying to express, but I'm trying to learn! Your experience and several of the other threads on this site have been so incredibly helpful.