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Should I tell people I have ASD if I'm not certain?

M

marimbal

Well-Known Member
I'm currently on the NHS waiting list for an assessment, and from what I've heard online, that could mean anything from a few months to a few years. So in the meantime, if I want to concisely explain what's wrong with me, what should I say?

I suspect that I probably know way more people than your average Aspie - I got a reputation in my undergrad for being that guy who 'knows everybody', and it was kind of true since I walked in many social circles and was pretty well known within most of them. Because of that, there's a lot of people who encounter my weirdnesses/social difficulties, and I feel like I owe them some sort of explanation. It's always been extremely important to me that people see me exactly as I am - no more, no less. For that reason, it would be horrible to tell people that I have ASD only to find out later on that I actually don't. So far, the best I can do is say that I'm 'borderline'.

I'm already planning on messaging the fb group of students on my floor in halls who share my kitchen, requesting that they be careful about shutting cupboards when I'm in the room, because they often like to slam them and it's quite painful for me. But I'm not sure what reason I should give if they press for one.
 
I am certain that I have Asperger's Syndrome and I do not tell anyone who does not need to know. Most people will not or can not understand ASD. You would be surprised at some of the things that they think. If they want to know why I am different from most people, I tell that is just the way that I am.
 
I only tell when it's a very important situation where it needs to be known in a situation of legality mostly...
Please dont think people will "like" your telling them...

I truly used to sort of think like you are thinking right now... It only took a very short time for me to change that thought process. People are freaking mean and your handing them all they need to crush you...

I have had to deal with a few situations (one at work) where I had to divulge my diagnosis for our Health Insurance (or fraudulently lie) and that information got leaked out... It basically sucked really bad for a while.

I have one person who knows way too much about me, never told to him by me... Who was fired from where I work... He loves to use my ASD diagnosis to make me look stupid. No matter how smart we are, or how gifted, our faults (ASD) will always outweigh anything that is good about us it seems...

HINT: Instead of telling others their noise bothers you... Where headphones or earbuds most of the time, if not all the time... I have hyperacusis (painful hearing) and I am never going to try and shut the world down to help me deal with MY ISSUES... I truly wouldn't push those buttons unless you are very good with lots of aggression and confrontation - which I am not...

To voluntary just spills the beans is a pretty big gamble, at least under the current way so many seem to view ASD... Someday maybe that will change. : )

Good luck on whatever you choose... : )
 
If you want to tell people something, tell them what you do know. Such as "I would really appreciate if you wouldn't slam doors around me, as I am very sensitive to sound and it hurts my ears."
 
I agree that the snag is that very often people don't understand what you are saying about yourself. The aspects and differences of auts and asps aren't understood and people think of Rain man if you are lucky or worse if you are not. It's probably more viable to tell a close friend who is supportive or maybe also people who clearly already like and know and value you, to get their feedback plus to educate them about what you mean. I have made mistakes with this as I have thought it would be helpful but I do sometimes experiment with letting people know, this is partly because I m older and near retirement and don't give so much of a s*** as I used to.
 
I am officially diagnosed, but I avoid telling people that I have Asperger's because I don't want to be prejudged. So I tell people that I have very sensitive hearing and certain sounds are painful, and yes, it is a medical condition (but I don't specify which one), or that I'm oversensitive to certain things. Otherwise I cope by not putting myself into situations where I know I might have problems, such as being in a crowded restaurant, or I wear earplugs or sunglasses if the lights are too bright for me.
 
Explain what? You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, and if they're demanding one then you might want to reconsider your circles. How many other people are explaining themselves? Also not a good idea to reveal it in the first place, but in the end that's your decision.
 
IMO you being Aspie should be on a "need to know" basis, you should only tell people who NEED to know.
 
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