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Sharing a special interest with a partner?

K

kita

New Member
Hi, I wanted to ask if anyone here has had any experiences with sharing a special interest with someone they were dating and what their thoughts were on it. For me, I've done this for a long time, which can be really enjoyable and make the interest a lot more fun, but the other side of that is how difficult it can be when a partner loses interest in something you really still want to talk about and have fun with. I also find myself getting overly paranoid and scared that my partner is losing interest in something we share together, which can cause me a lot of stress.
 
It is quite a complicated topic =p a lot of different thoughts I could have on it...

But if I had a long term special interest that my partner either actively disliked or had absolutely no desire to learn more about then I'm pretty sure the relationship is over.
 
Having common interests is very important to long-term relationship.

If you have things that are very important to you that you find interesting, your partner should be willing to maintain an interest in at least a couple of those subjects as well. If not, then it's not going to be much of a relationship.

Of course, you can't expect someone to be maybe as enthusiastic about it as you are, but there has to be some give-and-take on both sides.

It's optimal to find someone who already shares the same interests that you do. This can be accomplished by participating in groups of people who are interested in the same subjects. That way you know that their interest is genuine and that they aren't going to just suddenly lose interest after a while.
 
Having my wife share my enjoyment with one of my two main special interests is one of the few ways we are able to really connect as a couple. She goes to model train shows and shops with me, and we take my restored garden tractor to shows and field plowing events where we both operate the tractor and enjoy the day together. But it wasn't always this way. Only after my diagnosis and being told by my therapist that she had to make an effort to get back into enjoying what I enjoy, that we were able to reconnect to each other. Its still a struggle on both sides(she is NT, I am Aspie) but we both try to enjoy what each other enjoys. Mike
 
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