Share good puns and jokes.

[Crossbreed]

Q: What do you get when you play a country music record backwards?

Spoiler: Answer

A: You get you wife back, your truck back, your dog back, your trailer back & your job back...!

 

[tree]

 

[tree]

 

[RemyZee]

View attachment 68186

How my brother lost a tooth!

 

[Captain Caveman]

What do you get if you walk under a cow?

SPOILER ANSWER:
A pat on the head.

 

[Crossbreed]

What do you get if you walk under a cow?

SPOILER ANSWER:
A pat on the head.

That is udder nonsense...!

 

[Crossbreed]

"I know what ancient bows were made from."
"Yew wood...!"

 

[Dagan]

I have a new inspirational motto for when I'm in charge of group tasks:

"Everyone...I want to be remembered for something awesome....but it'll probably just be for this. Who's with me!?"

 

[Princess Viola]

A mother and child are walking in a cemetery together when the child suddenly stops and asks 'Mom, do they usually put two people in a grave together?' The mom says, 'No, why do you ask?' and the kid points to a gravestone and says 'Well this grave says "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man".

 

[tree]

 

[Dagan]

I wish money was treated the same way as the temperature outside. For example: I have only 92 cents...but it really feels more like 100..............so how about you just go ahead and sell me those $1.00 value fries, homie?

 

[rach3rd]

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

 

[rach3rd]

I bought an impressionist painting of some flowers, but when I got back home the cat scratched it.

Now I'm trying to sell it as a Clawed Monet.

 

[Dagan]

When I'm watching ABC news, and they are doing reports on these wild, immigration enforcement goings on....

...I'm literally watching Disney "on" ICE.



(ABC is owned by Disney)

 

[Outdated]

When I'm watching ABC news, and they are doing reports on these wild, immigration enforcement goings on....
...I'm literally watching Disney "on" ICE.
(ABC is owned by Disney)

This had me very confused at first, in Australia the ABC is a government owned and operated broadcaster and our most trusted news source.

I totally agree with the Disney On Ice comment though, you should see what it looks like from the outside.

ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

 

[Dagan]

I can imagine. I still keep trying to process it all.

 

[rach3rd]

When older people say,

"Enjoy them while they're young"

They're talking about your knees and hips.

 

[Mary Terry]

When older people say,

"Enjoy them while they're young"

They're talking about your knees and hips.

Could be your hearing and teeth!