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Share good puns and jokes.
- Thread starter Mads
- Start date
A Potato Story
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries.
And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped..
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Gold’s, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!!!!!!!!!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset!
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries.
And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped..
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Gold’s, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!!!!!!!!!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset!
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......
A Commontater!
In remembrance of the [USA] Christmas 2021 looting epidemic,...
A girl was walking down the street one night with her gangster boyfriend
when they passed a jewelry store.
"Oh!" she said, "Look at that beautiful diamond necklace.
I'd just love to have that."
So her boyfriend picked up a brick, smashed the window,
took out the necklace and gave it to her.
A little ways down they passed a fur store and she looked in the window and said,
"Oh, look at that beautiful fur stole. I'd just love to have that fur stole!"
So once again her boyfriend picked up a brick and threw it through the window,
got the fur stole and gave it to her.
It wasn't too much longer when they passed by a car dealership.
"Oh", she said, "I'd just love to have that Cadillac there in the showroom!"
He looked at her and said,
"What do you think? I'm made out of bricks?"
A girl was walking down the street one night with her gangster boyfriend
when they passed a jewelry store.
"Oh!" she said, "Look at that beautiful diamond necklace.
I'd just love to have that."
So her boyfriend picked up a brick, smashed the window,
took out the necklace and gave it to her.
A little ways down they passed a fur store and she looked in the window and said,
"Oh, look at that beautiful fur stole. I'd just love to have that fur stole!"
So once again her boyfriend picked up a brick and threw it through the window,
got the fur stole and gave it to her.
It wasn't too much longer when they passed by a car dealership.
"Oh", she said, "I'd just love to have that Cadillac there in the showroom!"
He looked at her and said,
"What do you think? I'm made out of bricks?"
2022: Soylent Green
@Suzette @Gerontius
I thought of you two when I saw this for some reason
Just thought you’d find this funny like I did lol.
I thought of you two when I saw this for some reason
Just thought you’d find this funny like I did lol.
@crewlucaa_ , when I heard the joke below I giggled to myself on and off for days.
Why did the skeleton refuse to board the pirate ship? He had no GUTS!
Now excuse me, I have to find my chicken.....
Why did the skeleton refuse to board the pirate ship? He had no GUTS!
Now excuse me, I have to find my chicken.....
More for 2022,... Wendy's Secret Ingredient...!?
You momma’s so stupid that sometimes she forgets how to breathe!
Your momma’s so fat that when she tried to Surf on a Lapras, the poor thing could only swim six inches from shore before it sank and started to drown!
Your momma’s so stupid that she voted for Donald Duck in the 2020 Presidential election!
Your Momma’s so fat that Snorlax get sucked into orbit around her whenever she walks on by!
Your momma’s so stupid that she wasted 10 years trying to find and catch Groudon in Pokémon Sapphire!
Your momma’s so fat that when she tried to Surf on a Lapras, the poor thing could only swim six inches from shore before it sank and started to drown!
Your momma’s so stupid that she voted for Donald Duck in the 2020 Presidential election!
Your Momma’s so fat that Snorlax get sucked into orbit around her whenever she walks on by!
Your momma’s so stupid that she wasted 10 years trying to find and catch Groudon in Pokémon Sapphire!
The bartender says, "What'll you have...?"
A tachyon walks into a bar...
A tachyon walks into a bar...
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