Sexual attraction and Aspergers

[WereBear]

Someone who can take some responsibility, can hold a conversation and challenges me.

And how would this differ from a close friendship?

 

[paloftoon]

And how would this differ from a close friendship?

Romance is implied with dating/relationships.

 

[Maelstrom]

Hi, I've been having a lot of trouble with romantic relationships, mainly due to my seeming inability to be sexually attracted to anyone. At first, I thought I just had to find the right person, but now I realise it might be something more. I really want to be able to have a relationship with someone, and I suppose I've skipped out on many opportunities with decent guys because I can't seem to bring myself to be attracted to them the way they expect me to. I'm not sure if there's a way around this, or if all my chances at relationships are doomed because I can't even bring myself to think about sex let alone progress to the act. How can I fix this? All I really want is a meaningful relationship.
Thanks.

I have lived as a grey off and on for years...I only end up in romance when a lady basically hunts me down and drags me back to her cave so to speak.
Am not refering to sex I don't sleep around...for church reasons and aspie reasons.
But what I am saying is it takes some being close together hugging feeling bonded to bring the feeling of attraction most of the time.
I do however find certain autistic girls/ladies very enchanting I am not sure why, it just is!

so maybe more time closer together to feel inlove?
And maybe you need to pick someone appealing to your autism stuff?
Does that help?
Maybe wait on the sleeping together stuff...it can hurt you?

 

[LogicalMind]

@Momo...you and I are similar...but if I can recommend this...if you havent had sex before...dont have it before marriage...with most people it brings a painful tear in their emotional experiences/memories... Asexuality is a good thing, and sapiosexuality is a good thing too... You and I are both extemists in this regard.

But one day...when you are in a permanent relationship with an Intellectual equal, that you are sure you will permanently commit too, and you believe he will too... then just give your body to him... Intellectual elitists have a built up sexual frustration... I am sure you could just lay there, and he will take the lead...and the experience will be enjoyable since you both respect and enjoy each others Minds and Personalities, and Ideologies/Knowledge/Ethics/Philosophy... but sexuality among intellectuals should be avoided until later in life... makes things easier... There are many women with masters degrees in their 50s that have not experienced sex, even some women and men in more "Traditional" communities that only experience it in their 30's, and most during marriage... It is more of a cultural and systemically, cant say sick thing...but more historically abnormal thing... that teenagers should be sexually active...probably emotionally safer psychologically to wait for a permanent/(emotionally supportive) relationship... and then there is the thing that a small handful of ideological purists or intellectual elitists (whether atheist or religious) actually want to only marry someone with no prior sexual experience (whether they have an emotional/psychological reason to is quite possible)

In short... if you are Asexual/Sapiosexual...wait for the right person...Never rush into romantic relationships or sex, just because society expects you to... You are an INTJ...You are better than that, and do not need to conform to all expectations so young...Make your own path...Your heart and mind are important, more than your body

 

[Bolletje]

@Momo...you and I are similar...but if I can recommend this...if you havent had sex before...dont have it before marriage...with most people it brings a painful tear in their emotional experiences/memories...as the majority of guys are a$$40132... Asexuality is a good thing, and sapiosexuality is a good thing too... You and I are both extemists in this regard.

But one day...when you are in a permanent relationship with an Intellectual equal, that you are sure you will permanently commit too, and you believe he will too... then just give your body to him... Intellectual elitists have a built up sexual frustration... I am sure you could just lay there, and he will take the lead...and the experience will be enjoyable since you both respect and enjoy each others Minds and Personalities, and Ideologies/Knowledge/Ethics/Philosophy... but sexuality among intellectuals should be avoided until later in life... makes things easier... There are many women with masters degrees in their 50s that have not experienced sex, even some women and men in more "Traditional" communities that only experience it in their 30's, and most during marriage... It is more of a cultural and systemically, cant say sick thing...but more historically abnormal thing... that teenagers should be sexually active...probably emotionally safer psychologically to wait for a permanent/(emotionally supportive) relationship... and then there is the thing that a small handful of ideological purists or intellectual elitists (whether atheist or religious) actually want to only marry someone with no prior sexual experience (whether they have an emotional/psychological reason to is quite possible)

In short... if you are Asexual/Sapiosexual...wait for the right person...Never rush into romantic relationships or sex, just because society expects you to... You are an INTJ...You are better than that, and do not need to conform to all expectations so young...Make your own path...Your heart and mind are important, more than your body

Excuse me? Teenagers having sex is historically abnormal? Are we from the same planet?

Not to say I judge anyone for abstaining, waiting for marriage, or being asexual. But your arguments for abstinence are somewhat creative to me.

 

[Bolletje]

@Bolletje prior to 1900's ...teenagers would majora not have sex out of wedlock... it is only within last 100 years that it is popularized...which is abnormal... and majority of worlds practice do not practice it, just the secularized societies...but traditional agrarian societies (indian,china,kazakh,pakistan,iran,bhutan,ethiopia,poland,ukraine,russia...and pay attention that I say in the rural areas...not cities of those countries) do not have sex as teenagers even in modern times... just the decrepit societies influenced by european colonialism do...and they are in sociology and population a tiny (yet significant) minority of the world

Perhaps less teenagers had sex out of wedlock, but they married a lot younger than people these days do as well.

 

[LogicalMind]

Excuse me? Teenagers having sex is historically abnormal? Are we from the same planet?

Not to say I judge anyone for abstaining, waiting for marriage, or being asexual. But your arguments for abstinence are somewhat creative to me.

@Bolletje prior to 1900's ...teenagers would majora not have sex out of wedlock... it is only within last 100 years that it is popularized...which is abnormal... and majority of worlds practice do not practice it, just the secularized societies...but traditional agrarian societies (indian,china,kazakh,pakistan,iran,bhutan,ethiopia,poland,ukraine,russia...and pay attention that I say in the rural areas...not cities of those countries) do not have sex as teenagers even in modern times... just the decrepit societies influenced by european colonialism do...and they are in sociology and population a tiny (yet significant) minority of the world

 

[MuiDylan]

Romance is implied with dating/relationships.

Hey there!

 

[paloftoon]

Hey there!

Hi!

 

[dhl02]

When I was the OPs age I was not interested in a relationship at all. I thought I was asexual until my mid 20s, when I suddenly became interested. Then I got into a relationship and it was good for a while, then went south. Part of that was my fault, as I knew I'd never be happy with my ex but I still cared for her a bunch. I wanted to part peacefully but I didn't know how to break up right.

I liked a lot of things about having a gf, but I have been unable to find one since.

Biggest advice for anyone: Do Not date a coworker. Both me and my ex ended up losing the job over it.