Serious Accidents and Sensory Issues

[HelzBelz]

So 2 weeks ago I had a serious car accident. I sneezed, caught the front wheel on the gravel, veered across the road and rolled down a bank, all at 100km/h. Broke my neck, which required being flown to a larger city for immediate surgery to take a piece of bone from my hip to replace the disk between 2 vertebrae before having a plate screwed in to hold the two vertebrae together. 18cm cut across the top of my head from the forehead, torn ligaments and muscles in my legs, massive internal bruising, plenty of glass imbedded in my hands and forearms.

As an Aspie I'm super sensitive to my environment and changes to routine. This has, of course, changed every aspect of my daily life. I sleep on a tilt so I can breathe. I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than 2kg. I have a frame around my toilet and couldn't wash my hair around staples and stitches. I can't clean or organize, let alone bend down to pick something up. No longer have a car, so can't even get out unless I get a lift. Which is painful and tiring anyway. My kids are doing the best they can to pick up the slack and home help has been organised, although it hasn't started yet. Not that I want some stranger pottering around my house. Although it's getting messier and more in need of a good clean.

Believe me, I'm super grateful. In NZ all medical costs are covered, including my flights to another city, endless xrays, MRI's, CT's, surgery, recovery, home help and recovery aids like my bed tilt. And a significant portion of my earnings is paid by the govt until I recover, so my finances are fine. My insurance paid out my car in full within days, no hassle. My kids have been amazing to come together and work though all this, and friends have helped out as they can. And I'm alive and will heal.

But I'm still so very overwhelmed. Nothing is the same! And my senses are super charged - the kids are giggling and playing xbox together yet every sound is grating on my nerves. The lights are always too bright and everything hurts. I don't want to go to bed and be slightly sitting up. I want to change my sheets and clean my house. I want to go home to my old life. Yet I can't escape the environment I'm living in.

Please. Any experience out there that I can relate to? I know I will get through this yet feel like I'm drowning in overload right now. :-(

 

[Thinx]

Sorry to hear about your accident, you have come through a big trauma, so you really are doing great already, but still processing it all and the sudden changes to your life. Have you got adult help of family or a friend you know well? It's tough either way, but having a trusted adult to share the load would be good.

I would think you need to focus on healing, let go of minor worries as you being well is way more important. How about listening to ambient music or meditations? Just to help you relax and switch off a bit. Is your pain medication adequate? Do you have adequate arrangements for the young people? Remember this is temporary, you'll be up and fine in a while, and all the sooner if you can put the worries on hold and surrender to getting well.

 

[Major Tom]

I'm sorry to hear about your wreck. You are very lucky to have survived it.

I am no stranger to pain and though I've never broken my neck, I did have major back issues that led to eventual back surgery. I know how when you are in constant pain and discomfort how everything seems 100x as bright, loud, smelly, etc. The only advice I can really offer is that you WILL recover. What you can't recover, you'll eventually get used to (though it may take years). Other than that I don't really know what to say.

I guess one other thing is it's good you are grateful to your country and your kids, because not all countries and not all kids will help you when you are down and out.

 

[Misery]

I'll just second what Major Tom said.

I have chronic pain caused by nerve & tendon issues. It's not like a serious medical condition or anything. For whatever reason I'm just prone to that nonsense. I also have some arthritis, because of course I do. Note that I'm in my 30s. Still have that though. Bah.

But the pain can get *bad* (from the nerve/tendon stuff, not the arthritis). The very first time it happened, I ended up on the floor, unable to get up. It wasnt that I couldnt move, it was that the absurd level of pain from trying to do so was overwhelming. The best I could do was sort of drag myself around after lying there for about 20 minutes. Fortunately was able to get some help from family members. Joints/muscles whatever sort of "lock up", if I move wrong. I go to physical therapy for this, as it's the thing that fixes it. Ironically, the therapy often hurts just as much. It's enough pain that I could take 4 Advil at once and it does absolutely nothing. Eventually they put me on horse tranquilizers- er, I mean, Tramadol and cyclobenzaprine. Powerful stuff. The max dose could knock over an elephant. I almost fell asleep on my feet, once.

And when that pain happens... well, like Tom said, EVERYTHING just seems a bazillion times more intense, due to sensory overload. It's not just when it gets severe. Sometimes when it's low-level pain, but CONSTANT and annoying, that causes the overload state as well.

I've found that the only way to deal with it... for me at least... is to do something, anything, that engages my mind well enough. My hobbies, usually. I dont know if there's much you're able to do while recovering, but if there IS anything, however simple/minor it may be... do it. Even if it's just watching something funny on Youtube or whatever. ANYTHING to give your mind something to focus on that isnt the barrage of sensory nonsense. If there is something like that, do it... even if you dont feel like it. I often have to sort of force myself, but then once I get going, I get sucked into whatever activity it is, and it helps alot.

Look on the bright side though: at least it didnt ruin you financially. Here in the US, they charge you about 5 billionty dollars for checking a small cut on your toe or something. The jerks. And they wonder why patients constantly lie to the doctors or omit stuff.


Now, other than that, when it comes to the crash itself... I'd suggest pondering it, and trying to see if there was anything you MAYBE could have done different that might have prevented it, or reduced the chances of that happening. When we make mistakes of any sort in any setting, it's always best if we can try to examine said mistake, and learn from it... even if we only learn a little, it goes a long way towards improvement and prevention of future mishaps.

And I know just how awful a crash can be. Iv'e had two of them. I was not truly injured (though the second one burned my arm due to friction from the airbag, apparently that's a thing that can happen), but the car was annihilated. Well, the second car. The first one was repaired.... after I performed a ridiculous drive to the shop, with the front of the car (the bumper area, a huge chunk of that was torn off) sitting in the back seat. It looked so stupid and didnt quite fit. I DEFINITELY learned a lesson both times. But I know just how freaking scary it is.

 

[George Newman]

Mercy me, HelzBelz! I wish your accident would have never happened.

I am fascinated by how sure and confident we become as day after day after day goes by and life becomes gloriously predictable until it isn’t and something unpredictable occurs.

The unpredictable something that occurs may be small and life disruption is minimal or the unpredictable something could be large and our lives are disrupted in a significant way.

My life was very predictable in my twenties. I was in complete control. I had no troubles. I was not aware of my Aspie traits then. Looking back, my life was much different than other twenty year olds but I was doing great.

When I was thirty something unpredictable occurred. My sister who was five years older than I, was diagnosed with cancer and three years later she passed.

Thru the process of doctors, treatments; some successful and some not so successful, I was solid. I’m good at steps and looking for the next thing. I felt like I was in control. I was not.

I couldn’t fix my sister. There was nothing I could do to make the cancer go away. I would pray and pray .... pleading! I would research and find new treatments and we would go and try. Nothing kept my sister alive.

It was then that I realized that I could not completely control life. I could not make everything predictable. Yes, I could manage most things very well but things happen that I would never choose or plan to happen.

I don’t envy your situation. You are breathing. You have some family to help. You have help with the medical expenses. You are unexplainably fortunate or lucky and for what purpose? Why? What was the factor between being seriously or fatally injured?

Your not alone. I too .... almost died inside when my sisters’ cancer could not be stopped. My sister’s death taught me many things. I tend to look past unpredictable occurrences these days. I still struggle with them. But I see them as an opportunity for me to live in a more significant way inside my head and heart. I learned perspective and how to apply it.

I may not be effectively helping you get thru this or maybe I am and I don’t recognize how my words may be helping. I am cheering for you. I want to encourage you so you have more strength than you thought you could have as you manage your recovery both physically and mentally. Be strong and courageous! I believe in you as does every person in this forum as well as those around you.

Be patient and heal well.

 

[Pieplup]

Makes sense, Stress can make you existing problems worse its' not that they actually get worse but you have less energy to deal with them. I broke my hip in 2017 it definitely made my existing problems worse. Serious injury can be a serious challenge for autistic people. But know this you can survive it. You can grow stronger from the experience. I know I have.

 

[HelzBelz]

Thanks guys. I'm so very overwhelmed. Logically I know I will get through and it will take time. I will make a list of calming ideas so I have something to turn to when I'm so very overwhelmed. Tiredness and pain definitely make everything worse.

 

[Alexej]

Really feel for you. Glad you have done as well as you have and that you have a health system that covers your costs.

If all we can do is to be here for you, at least we can do that

 

[Aspychata]

This is your new normal for awhile. You have to accept that it sucks. But on the flip side, everything has come together and you are getting thru this. l always wondered if you sneezed, could something happen if you were driving a car. Guess the big question is- do you want to drive again? We have share car or rental agencies for cars. Sounds like public transportation isn't a option where you are. Maybe this is a great time to concentrate on the things you always wanted to do but never did. Maybe music like electric piano? Drawing or painting? Reading subject material that fascinates you. Was there a possibility that the gas pedal became stuck? l have heard of this happening. Anyways, stay strong, you will carry on no matter what.

 

[Tom]

I have been through some physical trials and found the most helpful recovery aid (after medications) to be distractions. The main one I used and still use at times is recorded books. They are available in various forms. I use the CD versions myself. Favorite (and very long) books and those in my special interest (history). The longer and more detailed the better. I have at times also used them to help me go to sleep. Some times I use earphones and others just play it outloud. I found it helped in different ways. Something for your mind to focus on, to pull it away from unwanted things, like pain, anxieties and sometimes it helps mask other noises, or just sets up a ambient backround noise.