Self diagnosed in my old age.

[Debrah]

Just introducing myself. I'm a 64 year old, self diagnosed Asperger's person. I don't know what I really expect from involvement here when what I really want is just to be old enough to die and be done.

I've lost one daughter who I suspect is also an Asperger's 'sufferer' and have a second who is like my other half although she didn't score as an Asperger's person herself even though she's got lots of similar traits as per social difficulties. The second daughter knows that I did take an online test and that out of 50, I've scored as high as 43. But other than her, no one knows about this.

I have one friend and she's a wonderful, generous person. But if she dropped me, I'd be grateful that I didn't have to deal with that social interaction anymore, although it would depress me terribly that another person in my life has given me the boot. So far, my own mother dropped me for a couple years, my in-laws cut me off because they said I have a personality disorder and my oldest daughter just recently cut me and her father out of her life. And no, there was no fight at all, just out of the blue one day, she said never call again.

Anyway, that's me and hello to all of you.

 

[Sarah S]

Hello and warm wellcome to the forum Debrah. Give us a chance and decide for youre self if we got any to offer you

We all have our different sad life Storries and backround in here but im sad to read youres

 

[Thinx]

Hi Debrah, welcome. Things that have happened in your family relationships sound tough, this sounds hard to go through. I hope you may find some interesting threads to read, and perhaps you may enjoy making some comments and sharing your ideas here.

 

[Streetwise]

Just introducing myself. I'm a 64 year old, self diagnosed Asperger's person. I don't know what I really expect from involvement here when what I really want is just to be old enough to die and be done.

I've lost one daughter who I suspect is also an Asperger's 'sufferer' and have a second who is like my other half although she didn't score as an Asperger's person herself even though she's got lots of similar traits as per social difficulties. The second daughter knows that I did take an online test and that out of 50, I've scored as high as 43. But other than her, no one knows about this.

I have one friend and she's a wonderful, generous person. But if she dropped me, I'd be grateful that I didn't have to deal with that social interaction anymore, although it would depress me terribly that another person in my life has given me the boot. So far, my own mother dropped me for a couple years, my in-laws cut me off because they said I have a personality disorder and my oldest daughter just recently cut me and her father out of her life. And no, there was no fight at all, just out of the blue one day, she said never call again.

Anyway, that's me and hello to all of you.

I know exactly what you feel like except that I did commit suicide and I waited 45 years to be diagnosed ,before that being inferred that I was a hypochondriac, there are quite a few members over the age of 60 and as you seen from my story they are not diagnosed either.

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

 

[tree]

 

[Debrah]

Hello and warm wellcome to the forum Debrah. Give us a chance and decide for youre self if we got any to offer you

We all have our different sad life Storries and backround in here but im sad to read youres

Thanks for the welcome Sarah. I'm looking forward to spending a little time here to see if it fits. Maybe it will and maybe I'll find some relief for the gray-ness in my brain.

 

[Debrah]

Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

Thanks Isadoorian and I hope I do too.

 

[Debrah]

View attachment 58424

Thank you for the welcome also. It always feels weird to introduce myself and this was the weirdest yet. But I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome.

...when what I really want is just to be old enough to die and be done.

You might end up changing your mind if/when you determine that it is a difference rather than a defect.

 

[Debrah]

I know exactly what you feel like except that I did commit suicide and I waited 45 years to be diagnosed ,before that being inferred that I was a hypochondriac, there are quite a few members over the age of 60 and as you seen from my story they are not diagnosed either.

****
Thanks for sharing Streetwise. I did have a spell a few years ago where I think I was on the edge, lots of fleeting thoughts about 'the barn rafters' etc., but never felt bad enough that I wanted to be proactive and just do it, but lots of 'I just want to die' thoughts as I was falling asleep. I suppose lots of people find it's really hard to talk about this sort of thing so I'm not surprised to hear that there are a lot of 60 year plus, people in this boat. Anyway, thanks for saying hi and I'm sure we'll bump up against one another in the next little while here. Have a good one.

 

[Nitro]

Hi Debrah

 

[Debrah]

Hi Debrah, welcome. Things that have happened in your family relationships sound tough, this sounds hard to go through. I hope you may find some interesting threads to read, and perhaps you may enjoy making some comments and sharing your ideas here.

Thanks Thinkx (that sounds like a tongue twister doesn't it? Say thanks thinkx, five times really fast!)
Yeah, the whole family thing is a total pain, fortunately for me, I'm married to the best guy in the world for me. He's kind, caring, lovable, generous....and he gave me my beautiful daughter who is my other half. So I have that going for me right! Some folks aren't so lucky in the romance department I've gathered from reading here. Anyway, thank you for the welcome and I'll see you around the forums.

 

[Debrah]

Hi Debrah
View attachment 58425

Hi Nitro, hope you're having a good day and thanks for the welcome.

 

[Debrah]

Hello & welcome.

You might end up changing your mind if/when you determine that it is a difference rather than a defect.

Hi Crossbreed and thanks so much for the welcome. And who knows, you might be right. I'll hope for the best.

 

[BraidedPony]

A year ago I was self diagnosed at 64!
Welcome to the forums!

 

[Debrah]

A year ago I was self diagnosed at 64!
Welcome to the forums!

Hi BraidedPony and thank you for your welcome. Good to hear from another older person who's in the same boat.

 

[Aspychata]

Kinda on the same roadmap as you. Self-diagnosis late in life. Now l look back and see that the people l gravitated to were on the spectrum. I also recognize it qucker in other people now. l am more comfortable with myself. l understand when l stim and l feel okay about it. I understand why l like repetitive things; songs, movies, work schedule, not a lot of changes. It has been helpful for me. Funny, but life feels more comfortable, like l found my peeps here and they haven't come after me with torches, screaming kill the beast. Wait, l smell burning stuff and very loud chanting outside my window......

 

[Debrah]

Kinda on the same roadmap as you. Self-diagnosis late in life. Now l look back and see that the people l gravitated to were on the spectrum. I also recognize it qucker in other people now. l am more comfortable with myself. l understand when l stim and l feel okay about it. I understand why l like repetitive things; songs, movies, work schedule, not a lot of changes. It has been helpful for me. Funny, but life feels more comfortable, like l found my peeps here and they haven't come after me with torches, screaming kill the beast. Wait, l smell burning stuff and very loud chanting outside my window......

Hi Aspychata and thanks for the welcome and sharing. And like you, I find it a bit of a relief that I'm 'not the only one'. Most of my life, I simply felt like I just didn't belong here. It's interesting that you were drawn to people on the spectrum, never noticed that myself, but like you, definitely was comfortable with my own company. Even preferred it. I've often joked that now would be a perfect time to be a hermit living in a cave on the furthest mountain.

You probably don't have to worry about most of us every coming for you with pitchforks and torches, because that would mean possibly having to spend time with others.....have a nice day and thanks again.

 

[Pats]

Hi Debrah and welcome. Hope you enjoy your time here. I'm 62 and realized I had autism just a few years ago. I didn't need the official diagnosis to know for certain - it was right on. I did the official diagnosis so my kids would be aware of it being in the family and taking it seriously.
I've learned a lot being here, but I mostly like having a place to go where you don't hear as much of the 'everyone does that' comments.