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SCP-[even number]-J: The Madlibs SCP

Discussion in 'Obsessions and Interests' started by Joshua Aaron, Dec 2, 2020.

  1. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron ️Autistic Pansexual, Young Tiefling Warlock, CG V.I.P Member

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    So, if you have heard about the SCP foundation, you may also know that there are various SCPs that jokes. These often have their own section on the SCP wiki, and are often title SCP-[a number]-J. They are always never cannon (though some joke SCPs, like SCP-420-J, have become so popular that they are basically cannon).

    Joke SCPs often help the reader relax after reading about various eldritch horrors on the SCP wiki, so that is also why many are so popular, since they lighten the mood, so to speak.

    There is one joke SCP that is mad libs called SCP-[even number]-J. When you open its page, you are greeted with a form, which looks like this:
    Screenshot (96).png
    Once you fill out this info and press submit, a message appears saying "Warning: Unauthorized personnel will be terminated. Are you sure you want to proceed?" Once you click "Okay," there is a popup with an SCP article that includes the information you wrote. This, obviously varies, and is basically mad libs.

    Here is what mine turned out to be, for example:
    ——————————​
    CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█
    Item #: SCP-9-J

    Object Class: Thaumiel

    Special Containment Procedures: SCP-9-J is to be kept in a Pasta-lined containment chamber located in Fort Jackson, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 Actor armed with socks.

    In the event that SCP-9-J ever begins jumping its foot, Dr. Bright is to fling SCP-9-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''The Dragon Prince'') is to be dispatched to SCP-9-J's last known location.

    Description: SCP-9-J is a light elephant. Like most members of its species, it is able to access, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Pasta each day.

    SCP-9-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with cups, which causes it to turn into toast. Whenever this happens, all ducks within a 12 kilometer radius will begin to dance uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

    In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Chris Evans. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-9-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

    Recovery Log: SCP-9-J was first located in Neverwinter where the Gamecocks were using it in order to take over Michigan. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''The Dragon Prince'') was able to recover the object with only 5,034,694 civilian casualties.

    Addendum: Test Log 9-1

    Dr. Heinz: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Heinz, and I am about to test SCP-9's reaction to Assualt Rifle. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Aaron?

    Dr. Aaron: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

    Dr. Heinz: Excellent! I am now introducing the Assualt Rifle to 9... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

    Dr. Aaron: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

    Heinz: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Ear! IT'S GOT MEIN Ear! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

    END LOG

    In light of incident 9-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
    ——————————​
    You can see the hilarity in it. It's really fun. I suggest you try it out for yourself, as well. You don't need an account for the SCP wiki to do so, but you have to make sure to allow popups. Share what your entry is here, if you want (either by screenshot or copy-paste).
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2020
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  2. dragonfire42

    dragonfire42 Box of leftovers in the back of the fridge

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    CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█
    Item #: SCP-97-J

    Object Class: Euclid

    Special Containment Procedures: SCP-97-J is to be kept in a strawberry-lined containment chamber located in the Pentagon, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 5 janitors armed with paper clips.

    In the event that SCP-97-J ever begins shouting its fingernail, Dr. Bright is to swing SCP-97-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Mu-7 (''The X Files'') is to be dispatched to SCP-97-J's last known location.

    Description: SCP-97-J is a clever giraffe. Like most members of its species, it is able to jump and regularly eats twice its own weight in strawberries each day.

    SCP-97-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with flowers, which causes it to turn into lunchbox. Whenever this happens, all mountains within a 42 kilometer radius will begin to grow uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

    In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to John Hancock. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-97-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

    Recovery Log: SCP-97-J was first located in Nowhere where the New York Knicks were using it in order to become all-powerful. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Mu-7 (''The X Files'') was able to recover the object with only 976,824,672 civilian casualties.

    Addendum: Test Log 97-1



    Dr. Schmidt: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Schmidt, and I am about to test SCP-97's reaction to magazine. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Eichorst?


    Dr. Eichorst: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

    Dr. Schmidt: Excellent! I am now introducing the magazine to 97... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

    Dr. Eichorst: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

    Schmidt: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN elbow! IT'S GOT MEIN elbow! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

    END LOG

    In light of incident 97-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron ️Autistic Pansexual, Young Tiefling Warlock, CG V.I.P Member

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    976,824,672 civilian casualties? How is that thing not keter?
     
  4. dragonfire42

    dragonfire42 Box of leftovers in the back of the fridge

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    Lock it in a box, and it won’t for sure get out:) Object class is based on difficulty/ease of containment.
     
  5. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron ️Autistic Pansexual, Young Tiefling Warlock, CG V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, I knew that. Although there is no certainty that Dr. Bright flinging it would actually work, considering it is euclid. For all we know, it could eat SCP-962, cutting off Bright's immortality.