Routine changes

[Grondhammar]

Tonight I was sitting with my family, going through the week to make sure we knew who needed the car -- where people were going, what needed to be done. Logistics sort of stuff.

Something came up that my daughter had forgotten about. Then my son added two things later in the week. Then my wife had three things to add to the schedule tomorrow. I think by the end there were eleven events or to-do's that had been added that weren't there when we started. Then everyone else got up and left, and I was at the table kind-of in shock.

I got my formal diagnosis a month or so ago. Tonight is the first time I've consciously recognised the effect of autism in the moment -- desperately wanting/needing the routine to stay the same, having that fall to pieces, feeling sluggish and heavy-brained, stimming to self-regulate. Everyone else was just fine with this and zipped right through. It's seriously taken me two hours of gentle self-care consciously not thinking about any of it to feel like I can manage it. Now I've made a list, and have a calendar, and can put all these things together so they make sense for me. Life will be ok.

It sounds so simple. But it seems like an NT superpower, being able to process stuff like this in seconds.

I'm looking for suggestions how to deal with routine changes -- both managing them personally, and letting NT folks know I'm struggling.

I think Neonatal talked in another thread about being up-front about it -- being self-aware enough to know when we're having "autistic moments" and just saying so in some way or another, so everyone's aware. I can see how this would disarm the hidden-problem sort of social dynamic completely. But I find that I'm terrible in the moment at finding the right thing to say. Maybe I need to script something.

Any thoughts, either on 1) letting the NT folks know I'm not keeping up, or 2) managing routine changes yourself?

 

[717]

I dont know... routine changes really upset me...

The only thing that kind of help me is to have alternative routines... like my routines usually break the same few ways, so ones I figure this out I was able to create routines for every one of this situations...

So I basically have different back packs on the trunk of my car, for different routines, and some of them have repeat things but also specific to the routines... so lest say you have something prep and ready for each event, so you are ready for what you have on the schedule and then they say schedule changed, so at least it didnt got you totally unprepared, you at least have a plan then.

 

[Outdated]

I was always a very organised person and used to dealing with fluid plans all the time and had no problem as long as I was given enough warning about having to change my plans. Surprising me at the last minute usually resulted in a temper tantrum.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I generally don't have a problem with change that is a genuine improvement. Anything else is grrr.

Change just for change sake is just evil.

 

[maleonolo]

To everyone here, are your routines time-based or step-based? Do you have to do things at a specific time or just in a specific order at any time?

 

[the_tortoise]

To everyone here, are your routines time-based or step-based? Do you have to do things at a specific time or just in a specific order at any time?

Step based.

For me, routines are really just a natural way for me to compensate for very slow processing speed, shockingly terrible working memory, and almost non-existent sense of time; All of which consequently produce difficulties with prioritization and sequencing.

Routines also help a bit with easy distractability -- if the order is always the same, next step more often automatically gets cued by mental autopilot/default setting. So I don't actually have to remember what I was doing 5 minutes or 10 seconds ago because long term memory is being used instead [of] short term/working memory.

 

[717]

To everyone here, are your routines time-based or step-based? Do you have to do things at a specific time or just in a specific order at any time?

some are time based some are not, but all of mine are broken into steps.

 

[maleonolo]

Step based.

For me, routines are really just a natural way for me to compensate for very slow processing speed, shockingly terrible working memory, and almost non-existent sense of time; All of which consequently produce difficulties with prioritization and sequencing.

Routines also help a bit with easy distractability -- if the order is always the same, next step more often automatically gets cued by mental autopilot/default setting. So I don't actually have to remember what I was doing 5 minutes or 10 seconds ago because long term memory is being used instead or short term/working memory.

I see, have you recorded down what routines you need? Also just curious but do you know your IQ?

 

[Grondhammar]

So I basically have different back packs on the trunk of my car, for different routines, and some of them have repeat things but also specific to the routines

Oh, I love this idea! It appeals to the process engineer inside... basically having contingency plans built into the physical space. I'll have to give this some thought.

To everyone here, are your routines time-based or step-based? Do you have to do things at a specific time or just in a specific order at any time?

What an interesting question. I never really thought about it. I'm time-based, probably due to how time-bound my job is and how often I have to coordinate on a timed basis with kids' activities/family events/etc.

 

[maleonolo]

I have wondered this for a while, humans (including NTs) are said to be creatures of habit. Why are autistic people singled out as needing routines to function?

 

[Grondhammar]

I don't know of any neuro-level explanation... there may be one. But according to some of the many pieces of info I received after diagnosis, it's due to a broadly classified characteristic called RRBI (restricted and repetitive behaviours and interests).

The part of RRBI that drives what's seen as an exceptional difficulty with changes of routine is basically a combination of wanting things to be well ordered, knowing what the future holds, having precise information that makes sense. All these things contribute to a lower cognitive load. This helps make life more manageable (at least, for those like me who have intense difficulty with the quick processing of new information).

From the little sample here, it sounds like some folks even within the autistic community don't have as intense a need as I do for things to all be settled. As always, it's a spectrum. I imagine NT folks are along the same spectrum but on what's considered the "manageable" end of it. I don't know where they draw the line on "exhibits RRBI" and "doesn't".

 

[Judge]

To everyone here, are your routines time-based or step-based? Do you have to do things at a specific time or just in a specific order at any time?

A very interesting question. In giving it thought, I suppose I'm inclined to execute routines more step-based. Likely because of living in retirement, when I have much greater latitude over much of anything that it is time-based. But absolutely, on a daily basis I tend to do the same steps most every morning.

Exact timing of most things as a retired person has at least for me, become kind of an abstraction. When I need to absolutely record an upcoming time-sensitive event so I don't forget. Particularly when one day can often seem like another. A luxury I never had when I worked full-time.

The one factor I cannot argue over is that in fact, when something (not contemplated) interrupts my steps, I can potentially be anything from annoyed to upset about it. Is that something that highlights my autism, or does it just reflect being humanoid?

I'm not sure...

 

[Outdated]

I have wondered this for a while, humans (including NTs) are said to be creatures of habit. Why are autistic people singled out as needing routines to function?

I don't know of any neuro-level explanation... there may be one. But according to some of the many pieces of info I received after diagnosis, it's due to a broadly classified characteristic called RRBI (restricted and repetitive behaviours and interests).

A new theory on this that seems to fit is called Monotropism. In brief:

Neurotypical people only focus around 50% of their attention on whatever task they're currently doing, the other 50% is focused on their surroundings and dealing with social interactions. Autistic people tend to devote around 90% of their attention on what they're doing and have little left over for anything else.

It's a bit more complex and involved than that but this is a big part of the way we don't like plans being interrupted or changed.

Monotropism

 

[Grondhammar]

A new theory on this that seems to fit is called Monotropism. In brief:

Neurotypical people only focus around 50% of their attention on whatever task they're currently doing, the other 50% is focused on their surroundings and dealing with social interactions. Autistic people tend to devote around 90% of their attention on what they're doing and have little left over for anything else.

It's a bit more complex and involved than that but this is a big part of the way we don't like plans being interrupted or changed.

Monotropism

That is absolutely fascinating. Thank you!

The basic idea makes so much sense. I wish I weren't in the middle of the workday. I went to the linked site and started reading, and could tell I could spend hours digging through info about this. I'll just have to look forward to later tonight... might be one of those research-induced 2 AM bedtimes

 

[the_tortoise]

I see, have you recorded down what routines you need?

Once a routine is well-established I just use visual spatial cues -- I set up my environment so that specific objects and muscle memory (movements) combine to cue each next step.

When planning a new routine, or just starting out with a new one, I will usually sketch the steps (and any applicable times written under a clock symbol) out in pictures or place sticky note reminders for a while to act as cues. It's basically the same thing I do with any one-off schedule or rarely-done activity where the sequence matters.

How I organize those pictures depends on the activity, whether I am using post-it notes, a small notebook, or a large notebook; For example:

It can be a simple list laid out linearly;

It can be just a collection of images with disorganized spatial layout and numbers or arrows (both may be color coded) to indicate sequence of steps;

It can be a slightly more complex schematic where I might organize sub-tasks in groups according to where I do them in an actual physical space...sort of like a map, overlaid with a pictorial list (although I dont actually draw "landmarks" in the physical space because my mind fills that in automatically) and attach numbers and/or arrows (either may have color coding if necessary) to give me a quick reference for sequencing.

My shopping lists are all in quick sketches, too, and unless I am going to multiple stores or having a day of errands I organize items by where they are actually located the store or else by how I move through the store, organized into groups with arrows but the color coding is for prioritizing and is just the backgrounds for each item-grouping.

Before I started drawing the lists, I would spend ridiculous amounts of time already in extreme sensiry overload state giving myself cognitive overload trying to translate the words into actual things (image of the thing and where it was in the store) in my mind...then would look away from the list, head off to find the item, lose the translated meaning before I did, and have to start over...I always left with either nothing I had come for or a bunch of stuff I didn't need snd a few items on the list, of necessity right before I would have had a meltdown.

Also just curious but do you know your IQ?

I don't have a full-scale IQ because of the degree of subtest scatter - it's impossible to calculate a valid FSIQ for me.

My scores ranged from <2nd percentile (approx 69 or less in IQ points) to 98th percentile (which is about 130 in IQ points)

My lowest scores were in processing speed and working memory -- low average or worse across the board, mostly low 80s for points, so about 9th percentile.

 

[maleonolo]

I don't have a full-scale IQ because of the degree of subtest scatter - it's impossible to calculate a valid FSIQ for me.

My scores ranged from <2nd percentile (approx 69 or less in IQ points) to 98th percentile (which is about 130 in IQ points)

My lowest scores were in processing speed and working memory -- low average or worse across the board, mostly low 80s for points, so about 9th percentile.

Which subtest did you get 98th?

 

[the_tortoise]

Which subtest did you get 98th?

Block design

Was fun - neuropsych told me she gave me that one first because she suspected I would like it and wanted me to chill out a bit