Spiller
Just.. WEIRD!
Whooo, it's been awhile since I was last postedly present.. and I'm afraid I haven't currently the capacity to be lucid and communicative for long periods, I'm sorry my good friends.
This post concerns one aspect of my absence - as far as I can guess, stress/shutdown/meltdown.. pretty vague, huh.
So goeth the Aspie Way..
So..
I have been the recipient of some criticism regarding my 11 year-old sons behavior around adults.
They say he's not respectful - even as they treat him as less than they.
They say he interrupts as they talk over him and ignore his input.
They say he refuses to listen when they tell him off for inane things without explanation.
They complain he does his own thing when he should be interacting with others.
They criticise him for being fixated on small things, seemingly to the exclusion of the larger picture.
I'm advised to send him to boarding school or consider pressing him to join the Armed Forces or employ harsher punishments.
Some of what I see in him indicates AS/ASD traits, though I'm no expert. His difficulties, coupled with the complaints against him smack of similarities with those of diagnosed children - misbehavior, stubborness, intolerance to certain things..
As a parent on the Spectrum I'm aware that this whole area is often ignored and misunderstood. As a person who was ignored and forced to self diagnose and develop my own coping strategies over decades, I want to be able to offer my son actual, usable advice I was never offered but had to find for myself.
Does my child have Aspergers or is he imitating me as his sole parent?
How do I tell the difference?
How, as an Aspie myself, do I treat him as I 'should', according to those vague, NT applied, generally accepted parenting tactics?
I've been told I don't enforce 'standard boundaries'. No-one will discuss this, it seems I'm simply expected to know.
He is my friend, who also needs my guidance and direction till he's old enough to make his own decisions - and he's always done plenty of that!
He's a strong-willed adult in a childs body and to treat him with less respect is to lose his respect for you and his cooperation.
He and I get along so well.. I wish others would examine their own attitudes toward him.. maybe they'd see that the problems are actually theirs.
This post concerns one aspect of my absence - as far as I can guess, stress/shutdown/meltdown.. pretty vague, huh.
So goeth the Aspie Way..
So..
I have been the recipient of some criticism regarding my 11 year-old sons behavior around adults.
They say he's not respectful - even as they treat him as less than they.
They say he interrupts as they talk over him and ignore his input.
They say he refuses to listen when they tell him off for inane things without explanation.
They complain he does his own thing when he should be interacting with others.
They criticise him for being fixated on small things, seemingly to the exclusion of the larger picture.
I'm advised to send him to boarding school or consider pressing him to join the Armed Forces or employ harsher punishments.
Some of what I see in him indicates AS/ASD traits, though I'm no expert. His difficulties, coupled with the complaints against him smack of similarities with those of diagnosed children - misbehavior, stubborness, intolerance to certain things..
As a parent on the Spectrum I'm aware that this whole area is often ignored and misunderstood. As a person who was ignored and forced to self diagnose and develop my own coping strategies over decades, I want to be able to offer my son actual, usable advice I was never offered but had to find for myself.
Does my child have Aspergers or is he imitating me as his sole parent?
How do I tell the difference?
How, as an Aspie myself, do I treat him as I 'should', according to those vague, NT applied, generally accepted parenting tactics?
I've been told I don't enforce 'standard boundaries'. No-one will discuss this, it seems I'm simply expected to know.
He is my friend, who also needs my guidance and direction till he's old enough to make his own decisions - and he's always done plenty of that!
He's a strong-willed adult in a childs body and to treat him with less respect is to lose his respect for you and his cooperation.
He and I get along so well.. I wish others would examine their own attitudes toward him.. maybe they'd see that the problems are actually theirs.