Repetitive Thoughts

[Fino]

Whenever a conversation ends, especially a short one, my brain keeps repeating over and over what I had said out-loud in the conversation. I don't feel anxious while it's happening, like I'm analyzing what I said, it just keeps looping until I put enough effort in to make it stop. And on the other end, when I'm trying to think of something to say or something I might say or something I could possibly say eventually to someone, that also keeps looping. I'm not considering it or changing it, it just keeps going and going, and sometimes these are really long speech-like things that I never actually say to anyone, but the entire speech keeps repeating over and over for no apparent reason and only stops with great effort. At its worst, my thoughts have been occupied for most of the day just repeating the same long set of words, and then at some point I snap at out of it and feel really stupid for having done that for so long. Has anyone else experienced anything remotely like this?

I'm sorry if this is a dumb question or doesn't belong here, but I haven't been able to find any mention of this anywhere. I've read a lot about repetitive and obsessive thoughts, but none of them seemed to describe this exactly.

If it's at all relevant, I've been diagnosed with:
Bipolar
ADHD
Borderline Personality
Generalized Anxiety
PTSD (but that was over ten years ago)
And I've worked with a therapist for many years for ASD traits, but we never pursued a formal diagnosis for a variety of reasons, unrelated to the things I'm saying now.

Medications I take are:
Lithium
Wellbutrin
Adderall

Now I feel like I gave too much information, but I guess it's better to have too much than too little; unless your primary goal is to save time, in which case I might have wasted someone's, and I'm sorry.

Thank you in advance to anyone who says anything helpful or attempts to say anything helpful!

Thank you!

 

[ConfusedAspy]

Doesn't sound dumb to me at all I do something very similar, I have conversations in my head about things I would or could say to people but never do.

I also replay old interactions I have had and get lost in a web of me creating new conversions from that.

I can get lost in this for a long time and kind of just zone out having an imaginary conversation in my head.

Sometimes I think the imaginary conversations I have had in my head cross over into real life and I can find myself treating somebody in a certain way because of the imagined responses from these internal conversions.

I hope that helps in some way.

 

[Pats]

I do it all the time. I think it's a silent form of echolalia maybe? For example, walking into a store I overheard some worker say to someone else, I've worked nights shift for 2 weeks now and the entire time I'm walking through the store, in my head I'm repeating... "I worked nights for 20 years, I worked nights for 20 years, I worked nights....."
And @ConfusedAspy I have those conversations in my head, too.

 

[Major Tom]

I also do this a lot. The most conversation I have is with myself in the loop.. I'm having one currently as I write this, so I'm distracted. Haha. It never really stops, other than when I'm sleeping. I have to virtually script my whole job, and it makes actual conversation for very long, very difficult.

 

[MrSpock]

Whenever a conversation ends, especially a short one, my brain keeps repeating over and over what I said had out-loud in the conversation. I don't feel anxious while it's happening, like I'm analyzing what I said, it just keeps looping until I put enough effort in to make it stop. And on the other end, when I'm trying to think of something to say or something I might say or something I could possibly say eventually to someone, that also keeps looping. I'm not considering it or changing it, it just keeps going and going...

Up until there I was thinking that I have experienced much the same thing. After this... no.

Not sure how helpful that is.

If you're uncomfortable with giving that much information then it's too much. As for wasting my time, not at all. You should see some of my posts... and others as well. Yours isn't so long.

I too have the same sort of conversations in my head as @ConfusedAspy

 

[Fino]

Wow, I feel so much better! I should have come here sooner! No one replied with anything that remotely resembled the fantasies I couldn't stop inventing! Everyone is so nice! I've always felt like a different species from everyone around me, but here people understand what I'm talking about! I feel so much less freakish!

Sorry for using so many exclamation points, but it looked even weirder without them, to me. This is why I generally avoid text conversations, they are so anxiety-provoking because I can't see the person's face to see if I should stop talking or not

But thank you! I relate so much to what everyone said.

 

[Progster]

I do this a lot, sometimes on purpose to analyse a conversation, but also involuntarily. It's how I process conversations. Sometimes a particular phrase or word gets stuck in a loop and I repeat it out loud. I don't think that's necessarily an ASD thing. I think that most people repeat or go over conversations in their head. My NT partner does it too, a lot, and he talks out loud.

 

[SusanLR]

Same here.
Conversations keep going on in my mind. Real ones, fantasy ones, thinking of how I want to say things
but never do. The inner convos go on and on. The external ones are not so easy.
If people could mind read they would be blasted with an overwhelming amount of info in a matter of seconds.

 

[LadyBird84]

Yes, though only if I think I've perhaps said something wrong. My husband has ADD though and he has told me conversations go around in his head for days on end.

 

[Pats]

I do it all the time. I think it's a silent form of echolalia maybe? For example, walking into a store I overheard some worker say to someone else, "I worked nights for 20 years, I worked nights for 20 years, I worked nights....."
And @ConfusedAspy I have those conversations in my head, too.

I wrote that wrong. I meant to say the worker said I've been on night shift for 2 weeks. The rest of the way through the store I'm repeating in my head "I worked nights for 20 years" over and over.
And I enjoy the fantasy conversations in my head - much more relaxing and pleasant than real ones AND you're in control of what's being said. lol

 

[Illumination]

I experience this as well, conversations; even conversations from years ago will play around in my head over and over, I end up thinking about different possibilities I could of took those conversations; and keep make "Webs" essentially as I seen some other people describe.

I do this with most conversations I have; ones that I don't like I may repeat thinking like this about them years later, some of them currently over a decade. - I also have the same process of conversations i haven't had yet, or may have (fantasy conversations); even the most outrageous ones.

Finally this also extends to situations for myself; Ill replay situations over and over, or think of every possibility of a future situation even if it's an extremely unlikely situation.

 

[Fino]

I wrote that wrong. I meant to say the worker said I've been on night shift for 2 weeks. The rest of the way through the store I'm repeating in my head "I worked nights for 20 years" over and over.
And I enjoy the fantasy conversations in my head - much more relaxing and pleasant than real ones AND you're in control of what's being said. lol

That's what I figured you meant! And I never considered enjoying them! I was too busy judging myself for it.

I love this place!

 

[Theta.G]

Yes. Tend to mentally dissect words into equal proportions and replay the syllables backwards and forwards. Sometimes a certain part of a song will get stuck in my head and repeat over and over for days. Like an unwanted auto affirmation
Most recent being

Spoiler

(Tethered)
To a scene I
(Treasure)
Can you help me?

I
(Sever)
God, it's perfect, it's
(Never)
Really perfect

Free my severed heart, give me you, I want it
(I don't want to be myself)

hhmmm... On it's own it can be destructive but if you can learn to control it and auto-repeat the suggestions you want it could be turned into something beneficial.

 

[Cloudy]

Ha, I never even stopped to consider that other people might NOT do this, I just assumed everyone did!

 

[Tom]

I wish I had a dime for every repetitive thought I have had....

 

[Autistamatic]

I experience this as well, conversations; even conversations from years ago will play around in my head over and over, I end up thinking about different possibilities I could of took those conversations; and keep make "Webs" essentially as I seen some other people describe.

I do this with most conversations I have; ones that I don't like I may repeat thinking like this about them years later, some of them currently over a decade. - I also have the same process of conversations i haven't had yet, or may have (fantasy conversations); even the most outrageous ones.

Finally this also extends to situations for myself; Ill replay situations over and over, or think of every possibility of a fu

I couldn't have described it any better myself. I replay conversations from 40 years ago, I rehearse conversations that I expect in the future. My head is rarely a quiet place.

 

[Judge]

I couldn't have described it any better myself. I replay conversations from 40 years ago, I rehearse conversations that I expect in the future. My head is rarely a quiet place.

It's a dynamic that at times truly angers me about myself. I wish I could just turn it all OFF, once and for all.

Yet the more I try, the more I seem to digress to those unfortunate social interactions that occurred so long ago. Things that have utterly no chance of resolve. Talk about a vicious cycle...

 

[Anonym]

Yup. Me too. Past conversations, both recent and distant - analyzing/interpreting, segments repeating incessantly. Future conversations, probable and unlikely - feels like I’m practicing maybe, like a way of preparing for and processing the potential outcomes. Mostly involuntary, though not always unwelcome. Only rarely do they play out how I imagined, though. I usually find that I have incorrectly anticipated the other party’s response (cheers for over thinking everything!), those darn emotions (sometimes mine, sometimes theirs and somehow never present in my imaginings) bubble up and throw a kink into the whole thing and I can’t seem to remember how to string together a coherent sentence .

It’s almost constant, unless I’m engaged in an area of interest (then the hyper focus kicks in and my mind falls blissfully into line ).

Side note: I love this forum. I’m still getting used to the frequent “omg, dude, totally, me too”. Not a sentiment I have experienced much in the past.

Edit note: The right music can also do the trick and when I loop the song, it will play internally afterwards for a while instead.

 

[DCA]

I think this is pretty common for people on the spectrum. I do it too. In fact, when I read the OPs post above, I started having a conversation about how I would reply (including that last bit too, haha!). Yes, sometimes it can be very distracting. I think this is a big part of when I get insomnia; my brain just doesn't want to shut down & I keep rolling conversations around in my head. Especially fun is when I have lectures on history in my head. I used to think everyone did stuff like this as well...

 

[Autistamatic]

I think this is a big part of when I get insomnia; my brain just doesn't want to shut down

I used to suffer terribly from insomnia for this exact reason and still do sometimes. Lying awake running endless permutations of past and future scenarios. None of my NT partners ever did the same though.
I eventually managed to train myself to shut down such thoughts at bedtime, but if I'm particularly stressed or worried about something, even that doesn't work.