Read and interrpet an aspie girl

[regnkappa]

There is a aspie girl who I hang out with. Known her for 2 months now. I think she is cute ,fun, interesting. From the start we have talked alot. And we give eachother alot of attention.

She is 18. I am 27. She is now recently begun to holding my hand, teasing me alot, punching me on the arm and say I am so much fun. She wants to dance with me where ever we are. She follows me around close by my side and ,if she loses track of me. max 5 minutes and she looks me up . This is all cute and so. But What I wanna know is if she just show me she feels comfortable in my presence as a friend. Or if she like me more then that.

I asked her yesterday about why she is holding my hand. She said "Couse its Okey". I asked if she found it cozy. She said "Yes". I asked if she hold other guys hands. she said "only if it feels right". Now to the last bit that confuses me the most. She told me a couple of days ago that another guy was so cute and she has told me why I am i not dancing with other girls. I told her I only wanna dance with her.

if she is interested in me. Why tell me other guys are cute and why tell me to dance with other girls. Dont really know how to handle this. I get alot of anexity of not knowing how she feels ab out me. And feels odd to have to ask her about it.

Whats your thoughts about this?

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

My thoughts are that you should just be blunt and come out and ask her. It is not worth the stress, and given that she is an aspie too I would think that she would appreciate the bluntness.

 

[Chris]

I think I agree with what Ruby said. It can really get out of hand not knowing a potential partner's sentiment, I've beaten myself up a lot in the past about it.

 

[142857]

Now to the last bit that confuses me the most. She told me a couple of days ago that another guy was so cute and she has told me why I am i not dancing with other girls. I told her I only wanna dance with her.

This is where I get into hot water as well. If a girl tells me that she thinks someone else is cute I tend not to read anything into it, I don't take it any differently to "that car is really nice, I want one" or "that puppy is cute". When in fact it could be indicative of the fact that she isn't interested romantically. Or, more likely, an indication that she is interested romantically and is trying to gauge how you feel.

And I used to pass comments about other girls, the same sort of comments I might make to a male friend if we were watching the girls go by. Bad idea.

Remember that the aspie girl is most likely no better at this stuff than you or I. I think that she would appreciate you being blunt. Try to be diplomatic, maybe start by telling her how much you value her friendship and how great it could be if you could have a girlfriend as great as her.

 

[Emor]

TBH, she reminds me of one of my friends. Don't get me wrong, she's nice, but she's also incredibly manipulative and once she knows she's liked can use people quite a lot(get them to buy her things, make them feel guilty when they don't meet her requests, etc.).
I'm no expert, but from my limited exp. it's best with these people to let on that you don't like them(even if you do- act like you don't), or be blunt and tell her you're fed up of messing around, 'cause imo that's what she's doing.
IDK if I'm a good person to take advice from though since I have a short fuse with these people and will just stop talking to them once nothing's happened after a week.
My other friend was in a similar situation with another guy where she really liked him and he didn't like her so much but he was very charming and flirtatious and let on he liked her for a couple of weeks, dated her, took her virginity, and then two weeks after that or so he dumped her and then she tried to kill herself(OD'd).
It's REALLY dangerous imo to give someone that much power in a relationship. Once they figure out you like them more than they like you and they can get away with crap like cheating.
IDK. I might be terribly wrong. It just seems people who act that way aren't really interested and in the rare event they want to be in a relationship will treat you like crap anyway.
But I really do want to emphasise how wrong I might be. This is all from a couple of paragraphs so yeah.
EMZ=]

 

[Sipe]

My advice is pretty much the same as other`s: Ask her directly.

And I agree with Emor. Be careful. Even thought aspergers are usually honest and nice there is always exceptions.
But the reason why she told you how the other guy was cute and told you to dance with other girls might also be that she wanted to A) Make you jealous or B) She tried to tell you that she is not interested in you in romantic way.

 

[D temp]

My advice is simples, less thinking, and more doing.

Good luck, but things are never as bad as expected remember.

 

[Sean2222]

There is a aspie girl who I hang out with. Known her for 2 months now. I think she is cute ,fun, interesting. From the start we have talked alot. And we give eachother alot of attention.

She is 18. I am 27. She is now recently begun to holding my hand, teasing me alot, punching me on the arm and say I am so much fun. She wants to dance with me where ever we are. She follows me around close by my side and ,if she loses track of me. max 5 minutes and she looks me up . This is all cute and so. But What I wanna know is if she just show me she feels comfortable in my presence as a friend. Or if she like me more then that.

I asked her yesterday about why she is holding my hand. She said "Couse its Okey". I asked if she found it cozy. She said "Yes". I asked if she hold other guys hands. she said "only if it feels right". Now to the last bit that confuses me the most. She told me a couple of days ago that another guy was so cute and she has told me why I am i not dancing with other girls. I told her I only wanna dance with her.

if she is interested in me. Why tell me other guys are cute and why tell me to dance with other girls. Dont really know how to handle this. I get alot of anexity of not knowing how she feels ab out me. And feels odd to have to ask her about it.

Whats your thoughts about this?

My thoughts are this... She's not truly interested in you as more than a friend. Or she is just trying to see how far you will go to give her attention, or both. I actually wouldn't hold her hand either until you get past that friendship barrier. Holding hands is nice. I will be the first to obsess over what is romantic. But if it is seemingly meaningless in this situation, then you are just encouraging her to act indifferent to you. oH and here I will differ with the rest on this thread. If you are set on flat out asking her yes or no if she likes you, don't be surprised if you get the word "no" in other terms but the obvious. Oh and one more thing, what you should be doing right now instead of worrying about whether she is going to reject you or not, is to actually get to know her better. Hang out with her more on a deeper level and start listening more to what she feels and what she truly finds important to her. No substitute for this.

-sean-

 

[Hannah_Aspergic]

Maybe she told you about the other guy because she wanted to make you jelaous? :rofl:
I've done so myself, not sure if it works, I guess girls just weird stuff to make boys like them :whistle:
Why don't you just ask her simple?
"Hey, I like you so much, and I was wondering if you are feeling the same way about me?" Simple and effective :thumbsup:
The worst that can happen is that she doesn't feel the same way and things get a bit awkward (they doesn't have to get awkward). There are so many girls in the world, considering we're 6 billion people in the world, half are women, well, I'm sure you'll be fine no matter what happens