Questions about Asperger's

[TJustice]

I have long known that I was at the very least ADD, but in researching issues for my son, am beginning to question if I might actually have Asperger's. As I dread the flood of self diagnoses on the Internet, I am hesitant to do so myself, but in reading up on this, am having some serious questions.

I am 45 years old, and usually get along fairly well. But I always find myself limited career wise because I am unable to handle schedules that require frequent contacts, deadlines, and interactions with people. I've been unable to explain this, as it doesn't make sense, and I haven't heard anyone else talk about it.

Until now. Our 8 year old son had extreme difficulty in the public school system, and we attributed his social problems to bullying, but it was more than that. To the point where he was terrified when one of the classmates that harassed him was on a bounce house, and he was in tears because he wanted to be on the bounce house, but not around this individual.

It was more than just typical childhood fear. To me it looked a lot like defense mode. And it explains why, in two years in the public school system, he was unable to learn to read/write; because he was in defense mode. In the year and a half since he has been out, his reading and math skills have come up to his age appropriate grade level.

Now, again, I'm not into self diagnoses, but in his case, it's pretty clear. He does not like to play, even around his siblings most of the time, and will head off by himself. He has difficulty expressing emotion and is clearly very stressed when something in his environment changes suddenly.

As I started researching defense mode, though, it made the most sense of any explanation that has ever been given for my own particular issues.

Does it sound like I'm way off base, or do you think this might be a real possibility. And if it is, can you share things that you have done to cope so that defense mode doesn't cripple you in real life situations? Thanks.

 

[clg114]

I have long known that I was at the very least ADD, but in researching issues for my son, am beginning to question if I might actually have Asperger's. As I dread the flood of self diagnoses on the Internet, I am hesitant to do so myself, but in reading up on this, am having some serious questions.

I am 45 years old, and usually get along fairly well. But I always find myself limited career wise because I am unable to handle schedules that require frequent contacts, deadlines, and interactions with people. I've been unable to explain this, as it doesn't make sense, and I haven't heard anyone else talk about it.

Until now. Our 8 year old son had extreme difficulty in the public school system, and we attributed his social problems to bullying, but it was more than that. To the point where he was terrified when one of the classmates that harassed him was on a bounce house, and he was in tears because he wanted to be on the bounce house, but not around this individual.

It was more than just typical childhood fear. To me it looked a lot like defense mode. And it explains why, in two years in the public school system, he was unable to learn to read/write; because he was in defense mode. In the year and a half since he has been out, his reading and math skills have come up to his age appropriate grade level.

Now, again, I'm not into self diagnoses, but in his case, it's pretty clear. He does not like to play, even around his siblings most of the time, and will head off by himself. He has difficulty expressing emotion and is clearly very stressed when something in his environment changes suddenly.

As I started researching defense mode, though, it made the most sense of any explanation that has ever been given for my own particular issues.

Does it sound like I'm way off base, or do you think this might be a real possibility. And if it is, can you share things that you have done to cope so that defense mode doesn't cripple you in real life situations? Thanks.

First, welcome to Aspies Central! You have a lot of questions and this is a good place to get a lot of answers. Stick around, keep posting and keep reading. As a whole, the people here have pretty much seen it all and are very helpful. Good luck!

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard

 

[ChrisC1983]

funny thing... i can't specifically remember if i cried of not, and the specifics are a bit different.. but i do remember on multiple occasions not wanting to be around somebody who would bully me. as i said, i can't remember if i cried about it (dad instilled a lot of sayings, such as "man up" so basically never cry. but still to the same extreme. i would tell everybody i didn't want to go to a school field trip just because i didn't want to be on the bus with somebody and to this day it extends to me driving with anybody because i have a "cloud of judgement" as i call it

it could be possible, i would prefer to know more about him before learning either way. some kids do just have specific odd behaviors that they grow out of eventually

 

[AsheSkyler]

Don't fret over a self-diagnosis. It is merely a starting point for collecting data so you can go see a professional and coherently lay out your concerns to them so they can help you.

He at least sounds like he has some kind of anxiety issue. Typically autism involves anxiety, sensory issues like picky eating or fantastic hearing, a love of simplicity and regularity such as routines, and emotional outbursts from frustration. It's not an absolute list. Some have all those things, some do not, and some have other things. I got my official autism hunt started at Love To Know Autism.

As for my own defense mode, eh, I am stubborn and defiant to a fault. If I get bothered by being in defense mode too much, I usually flip to offensive mode and start targeting what was making me defensive in the first place. Needless to say, most people don't like me.