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Public school and the A's

Unfortunately, I may have failed almost every child I wanted to help.

This is sad.
This seems unrealistic.

It's clear from your post that you really care. Often that's all it takes. Students don't always appreciate it straight away, but many of them probably will look back fondly on their time with you. It seems unlikely that you genuinely failed a majority - you probably made the occasional mistake, true, but you will undoubtedly have at least partially succeeded for the majority of your pupils, and probably gone beyond that for a fair chunk.

I understand that sometimes we feel like failures when things don't go our way, and if things feel bad to us, then we can assume that we were bad at them. But I don't think you'd have been kept on for so long if your competence was so low - and I also don't think you'd be asking these questions.

I don't have any questions for you right now, but I did think it was important to push back a bit on some of those negative thought you had expressed, as they seem unlikely to be a fair reflection of your competence.
 
Thank you, Walrus (you're not Paul McCartney are you?).

That's what I tell myself, and it is likely even true :) .

But I also can't help thinking about all the things I could have done differently, or should have done differently, and that I could have connected better with kids if I had been a few hairs closer to wise.

The world is big & complicated, though, so everybody does the best they can, in whatever circumstances they find themselves in...
 
Thank you, Walrus (you're not Paul McCartney are you?).

That's what I tell myself, and it is likely even true :) .

But I also can't help thinking about all the things I could have done differently, or should have done differently, and that I could have connected better with kids if I had been a few hairs closer to wise.

The world is big & complicated, though, so everybody does the best they can, in whatever circumstances they find themselves in...
It’s part of ASD, even in children. All I remember in ny life is my failures. My wife says I’m smart, loving, handsome, etc. But I look in the mirror and see stupid, bald, and a failure as a husband and father.

A couple of years ago she had been getting down on herself for gaining weight. I told her “Hey! That’s my wife you’re talking about!”. We both laughed and she felt a lot better. Now she turns it back on me when I berate myself, and it actually works a bit.

The public school system makes it impossible for a good and kind person (who happens to also be a teacher) to actually help children. Particularly in middle and high school. It’s just a factory, cranking out numbers in the form of diplomas.

Maybe you could take your skills and volunteer at local shelter, or somewhere like a homeschool program that needs teachers to run a small class. Perhaps your solution could be to create some new, better memories of your life as an educator.?
 
AspireChris - the "school as factory" accusation (did you ever see Pink Floyd's The Wall?) is really, really painful.

It's also true.

Most teachers KNOW there are better ways to do things, that a cookie cutter approach is only effective for a small-ish percentage of students, and that a more personalized approach would be vastly more effective.

Unfortunately, in the US (this probably applies to education in most industrialized nations) the way "the system" is set up forces a cookie cutter approach.

In the US, public education is "free," which actually means "paid for via taxes."

A portion of the money supporting schools come from the federal government, some comes from the state government, and some comes from local property taxes.

Schools in depressed areas (both rural and urban) get little from property taxes. When money for schools is needed, people in these areas often vote against them. It's fully understandable - these people are hurting for money, and don't want a tax increase, especially if they have no children in school.

The upshot is that schools in depressed areas will ALWAYS be chronically short of cash.

Money that comes from the state and federal governments depend entirely on politicians and the current political shouting.

Where I am, money for education has been steadily decreasing for the past 30 years. Yet, the cost of everything has been steadily increasing.

So the school has to constantly cut costs. Teachers cost money - get rid of a few teachers = more students in each class. More students per class means far, far more complexity for the teacher. I am mentally incapable of creating 150 individualized educational environments every 2.5 months, and following/tracking them.

That's the main problem. Schools are paid for through taxes and people resist tax increases while demanding tax decreases. This does not work.

A second problem is how much teachers are expected to teach, and how much students are expected to learn (expected by parents, politicians, and future employers).

The information I was supposed to get into children's head would be difficult for a data input specialist to enter into a computer in the time available.

And computers don't actually have to "learn" anything. Kids DO have to learn, so it takes longer. I, as a teacher, can not do what I know I have to do: teach > student practice > evaluate student learning > reteach what the evaluation shows students haven't understood adequately.

The last step in that process is the most important, also the most time consuming, and the part that requires most personalized attention. So that's the step that will be left out. The process becomes: teach, practice, test, move on. This is cookie cutter at it's worst.
 
AspireChris - the "school as factory" accusation (did you ever see Pink Floyd's The Wall?) is really, really painful.

It's also true.

Most teachers KNOW there are better ways to do things, that a cookie cutter approach is only effective for a small-ish percentage of students, and that a more personalized approach would be vastly more effective.

Unfortunately, in the US (this probably applies to education in most industrialized nations) the way "the system" is set up forces a cookie cutter approach.

In the US, public education is "free," which actually means "paid for via taxes."

A portion of the money supporting schools come from the federal government, some comes from the state government, and some comes from local property taxes.

Schools in depressed areas (both rural and urban) get little from property taxes. When money for schools is needed, people in these areas often vote against them. It's fully understandable - these people are hurting for money, and don't want a tax increase, especially if they have no children in school.

The upshot is that schools in depressed areas will ALWAYS be chronically short of cash.

Money that comes from the state and federal governments depend entirely on politicians and the current political shouting.

Where I am, money for education has been steadily decreasing for the past 30 years. Yet, the cost of everything has been steadily increasing.

So the school has to constantly cut costs. Teachers cost money - get rid of a few teachers = more students in each class. More students per class means far, far more complexity for the teacher. I am mentally incapable of creating 150 individualized educational environments every 2.5 months, and following/tracking them.

That's the main problem. Schools are paid for through taxes and people resist tax increases while demanding tax decreases. This does not work.

A second problem is how much teachers are expected to teach, and how much students are expected to learn (expected by parents, politicians, and future employers).

The information I was supposed to get into children's head would be difficult for a data input specialist to enter into a computer in the time available.

And computers don't actually have to "learn" anything. Kids DO have to learn, so it takes longer. I, as a teacher, can not do what I know I have to do: teach > student practice > evaluate student learning > reteach what the evaluation shows students haven't understood adequately.

The last step in that process is the most important, also the most time consuming, and the part that requires most personalized attention. So that's the step that will be left out. The process becomes: teach, practice, test, move on. This is cookie cutter at it's worst.
I agree. I lived through it both as a student in the 1980’s and a parent in the 2000’s. It was bad when I was a child, but soooo much worse now. It’s exactly the reason we have homeschooled our son since birth.

Unfortunately, today’s teens all have cell phones. Access to social media and pornography is normal, even while in class. Online bullying and glorified violence in video games is pushing some students to suicide or mass shootings. Plenty of schools in Los Angeles have metal detectors and police officers on campus all day. Illegal drugs are cheaper, 100x more potent, and easier to conceal than when I was growing up.

It’s almost like sending your kids to prison in some places. It seems like the administration is always only trying to control the narrative that the outside world gets to hear. The “zero tolerance” bullying policies that they advertise don’t do anything. The “no child left behind” speeches are basically worthless. Good teachers get burned out. Good children get lost.

Have you ever heard the statistic that something like 80% of graduating seniors can’t pass the test for a GED? I’m sure I got the percentage wrong, but even if it’s only 25%, it’s scary.
 
Oh my...  Cell phones. Great technology if used well; mind, soul, self-image destroying addiction that is encouraged, when not used well.

Too bad we didn't realize this years ago.

"Zero tolerance" - sounds good on paper, but seldom works as planned (it is based on a flawed theory). I know of specific instances where a young kid (say maybe 3rd grade) brings a toy (example: little plastic cowboy). somehow, a gun is involved (tiny cowboy has a tiny gun molded in its hand). Zero tolerance policy says "No guns, even toy guns," result: 8 year old child has to go through expulsion hearings (this is legally mandated).

Even if the kid does not end up expelled, an 8 year old kid was put through all that trauma over a little plastic toy cowboy. Some things look inherently stupid to me.

The "no child left behind" act was a good idea, implemented in a haphazard, ineffective,... even damaging way. And, yeah, ended up being irredeemably fubar.
 
It’s part of ASD, even in children. All I remember in ny life is my failures. My wife says I’m smart, loving, handsome, etc. But I look in the mirror and see stupid, bald, and a failure as a husband and father.

A couple of years ago she had been getting down on herself for gaining weight. I told her “Hey! That’s my wife you’re talking about!”. We both laughed and she felt a lot better. Now she turns it back on me when I berate myself, and it actually works a bit.

The public school system makes it impossible for a good and kind person (who happens to also be a teacher) to actually help children. Particularly in middle and high school. It’s just a factory, cranking out numbers in the form of diplomas.

Maybe you could take your skills and volunteer at local shelter, or somewhere like a homeschool program that needs teachers to run a small class. Perhaps your solution could be to create some new, better memories of your life as an educator.?
Volunteering is an outstanding idea. Since I read this I tried hunting up a place to volunteer. Maybe I'll ask my doctor for suggestions (?).

Thanks!
 

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