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Public meltdowns. Destroying property. Now doing this in public.

Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Single RSD Aspie Misanthrope
V.I.P Member
I can't stand seeing couples anymore. I can't listen to them go on about how they meet. I can't stand when a woman not older than my mother talks to me then mentions my boyfriend, my husband, my boyfriend, my husband, my boyfriend, my husband.

I nearly got hit by a car again, came inches short, and it didn't scare me not one bit. This is like the 20th close call this year.

I busted my ass 6 years, while others did it in a fraction of the time.

I'm done putting myself out there. I am done trying new group's. I'm done trying to meet new people and being ignored. I'm done being ostracized, gaslighted like it's my fault. I am even done with Christianity.
 
@Tony Ramirez In response to the last sentence of your post, Jesus didn't die so we could have everything we want in life. He died to redeem our souls. If I never have friends, if I never go on even one date my whole life, if I never have the career I want, if I either never get another job at all or else get another one where I am bullied as bad or worse than before I still have much to be grateful to Jesus for. I am still praying for you Tony and your life does matter. Please try to look for the positive things in your life and not think so much on the things you are lacking.
 
FayetheAspie said:
@Tony Ramirez In response to the last sentence of your post, Jesus didn't die so we could have everything we want in life. He died to redeem our souls. If I never have friends, if I never go on even one date my whole life, if I never have the career I want, if I either never get another job at all or else get another one where I am bullied as bad or worse than before I still have much to be grateful to Jesus for. I am still praying for you Tony and your life does matter. Please try to look for the positive things in your life and not think so much on the things you are lacking.
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Brave, I don't know how you do. Churches actually hurt me the most.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Churches actually hurt me the most.
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As a child, there was an instance when some other kids tried to strangle me with my own necklace. Thankfully, it had a safety release chain and popped open. When I went to the adult in charge about it I was scolded for being a tattle tale. Another group of kids cornered me and threatened to beat me up but a teacher intervened. Again, I was the one scolded. I had other things happen at other locations while growing up, but these two were at church. It's not God's fault when someone who either serves or claims to serve Him disobeys Him. He didn't tell those kids to try to choke me. He didn't tell the other kids to threaten to beat me up. He didn't tell the teachers to practice victim blaming. He told them to do good to others, to treat people the way they would want to be treated. They were the ones who sinned, not God. In fact, I am pretty sure that their behavior grieved God. I have nothing to to be angry at Him for. As for the ones who actually did it, I choose to forgive them. Holding bitterness in your heart will only multiply your own misery.
 
FayetheAspie said:
He didn't tell those kids to try to choke me. He didn't tell the other kids to threaten to beat me up. He didn't tell the teachers to practice victim blaming.
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But he made it happen. He did nothing to stop it. Just like the blessings everyone else I know with relationships, while I struggle to even talk to one person who will get back to me without, breadcrumbing, ghosting or gaslighting me
 
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If I feel overwhelmed outside and I feel that a meltdown could be coming on I try and find somewhere to sit even for five minutes to pause and ground myself again. Grounding yourself can be useful for some people to do when they are like this.
Or look at what is causing stress in your life and address it. Being the best version of you is the important thing. We all have different abilities. Someone might be meant to be a doctor and someone else like Josiah Fire who is a non verbal autistic who is a Christian he has his own Youtube page which God helps him to fulfil bringing light to others and it is sufficient. Have you ever thought about talking to a spiritual counsellor about trying to remap your life, it is never too late, good luck.

One thing God never fails. Cry out to him and open up yourself only to him. Have you been baptised with the Holy Spirit which would help you to be led by them.

Spiritual Counselling
https://www.chelmsford.anglican.org/vocations-and-discipleship/exploring-vocations/find-a-spiritual-companion/
 
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I'm sad that you are feeling so badly, @Tony Ramirez. I hope you can stay safe so that you can start to feel a little better soon. Some things really hurt and it's so hard to endure that kind of pain.
 
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Gratitude helps. Gratitude helps like magic. Gratitude works like probability calculation in math.


I have a ritual; I do dogeza twice and rub my face on my Prayer mat and thank God for things i recieve in a) This Life b) Next Life

I thank him in this life for things as legs and arms, other people don't have legs and arms. I have a house and car that works for me, i struggel with eating though. But i thank God or X for things I have, and things i have others don't have. There are people without things i just have here in Norway. There are people with bad friends. Simply that you are thankful helps. I thank Him for now and the future Justice and Mercy he does and he'll do.

@FayetheAspie is cool 😎

I don't use that Gratitude thread here, because thanking God works better. Saying/doing what you are thankful for is binding and empowers you to do what you procrastinate (postphone). Like a circle in my experience.
 
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Tony, I didn't meet my future wife until I quit looking altogether. In fact, she wasn't looking either. But God had us meet at the right place and time.
 
Tony, love yourself first. Be a bit selfish. Put your own well being on center stage. Build yourself up. Other people love confidence. And you can have it if you are willing to put in the work.

I’m not talking crap. I used to think others were talking crap when they said those words to me.
 
Metalhead said:
Tony, love yourself first. Be a bit selfish. Put your own well being on center stage. Build yourself up. Other people love confidence. And you can have it if you are willing to put in the work.

I’m not talking crap. I used to think others were talking crap when they said those words to me.
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He needs an "anchor point". As i haven't been following much.
 
Metalhead said:
Tony, love yourself first. Be a bit selfish. Put your own well being on center stage. Build yourself up. Other people love confidence. And you can have it if you are willing to put in the work.

I’m not talking crap. I used to think others were talking crap when they said those words to me.
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I tried that crap, it didn't work. I am done loving myself. Others can piss off.

I didn't go out Monday, and I'm staying home Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and probably beyond.
 
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