Public meltdowns. Destroying property. Now doing this in public.

[Tony Ramirez]

I can't stand seeing couples anymore. I can't listen to them go on about how they meet. I can't stand when a woman not older than my mother talks to me then mentions my boyfriend, my husband, my boyfriend, my husband, my boyfriend, my husband.

I nearly got hit by a car again, came inches short, and it didn't scare me not one bit. This is like the 20th close call this year.

I busted my ass 6 years, while others did it in a fraction of the time.

I'm done putting myself out there. I am done trying new group's. I'm done trying to meet new people and being ignored. I'm done being ostracized, gaslighted like it's my fault. I am even done with Christianity.

 

[Aspychata]

The therapist hasn't give up on you, you shouldn't give up on yourself. My friend mentioned that.

 

[FayetheAspie]

@Tony Ramirez In response to the last sentence of your post, Jesus didn't die so we could have everything we want in life. He died to redeem our souls. If I never have friends, if I never go on even one date my whole life, if I never have the career I want, if I either never get another job at all or else get another one where I am bullied as bad or worse than before I still have much to be grateful to Jesus for. I am still praying for you Tony and your life does matter. Please try to look for the positive things in your life and not think so much on the things you are lacking.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

@Tony Ramirez In response to the last sentence of your post, Jesus didn't die so we could have everything we want in life. He died to redeem our souls. If I never have friends, if I never go on even one date my whole life, if I never have the career I want, if I either never get another job at all or else get another one where I am bullied as bad or worse than before I still have much to be grateful to Jesus for. I am still praying for you Tony and your life does matter. Please try to look for the positive things in your life and not think so much on the things you are lacking.

Brave, I don't know how you do. Churches actually hurt me the most.

 

[thejuice]

Do you have anything to take to chill you out when youre on the warpath? @Tony Ramirez Dont wait until after youve been flattened..

 

[thejuice]

By the way, are you playing chicken?

 

[FayetheAspie]

Churches actually hurt me the most.

As a child, there was an instance when some other kids tried to strangle me with my own necklace. Thankfully, it had a safety release chain and popped open. When I went to the adult in charge about it I was scolded for being a tattle tale. Another group of kids cornered me and threatened to beat me up but a teacher intervened. Again, I was the one scolded. I had other things happen at other locations while growing up, but these two were at church. It's not God's fault when someone who either serves or claims to serve Him disobeys Him. He didn't tell those kids to try to choke me. He didn't tell the other kids to threaten to beat me up. He didn't tell the teachers to practice victim blaming. He told them to do good to others, to treat people the way they would want to be treated. They were the ones who sinned, not God. In fact, I am pretty sure that their behavior grieved God. I have nothing to to be angry at Him for. As for the ones who actually did it, I choose to forgive them. Holding bitterness in your heart will only multiply your own misery.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

He didn't tell those kids to try to choke me. He didn't tell the other kids to threaten to beat me up. He didn't tell the teachers to practice victim blaming.

But he made it happen. He did nothing to stop it. Just like the blessings everyone else I know with relationships, while I struggle to even talk to one person who will get back to me without ghosting or gaslighting me

 

[FayetheAspie]

He didn't make it happen. People have free will.

 

[Metalhead]

Do not blaspheme, Tony. God grieves when he sees his creations hurt each other.

 

[Rachie]

If I feel overwhelmed outside and I feel that a meltdown could be coming on I try and find somewhere to sit even for five minutes to pause and ground myself again. Grounding yourself can be useful for some people to do when they are like this.
Or look at what is causing stress in your life and address it. Being the best version of you is the important thing. We all have different abilities. Someone might be meant to be a doctor and someone else like Josiah Fire who is a non verbal autistic who is a Christian he has his own Youtube page which God helps him to fulfil bringing light to others and it is sufficient. Have you ever thought about talking to a spiritual counsellor about trying to remap your life, it is never too late, good luck.

One thing God never fails. Cry out to him and open up yourself only to him. Have you been baptised with the Holy Spirit which would help you to be led by them.

Spiritual Counselling
https://www.chelmsford.anglican.org/vocations-and-discipleship/exploring-vocations/find-a-spiritual-companion/

 

[Rodafina]

I'm sad that you are feeling so badly, @Tony Ramirez. I hope you can stay safe so that you can start to feel a little better soon. Some things really hurt and it's so hard to endure that kind of pain.