pros and cons to people knowing you are an aspie?

[LunaViolet]

What do you think they are?

 

[Carnelian]

You know...I don't know.

I think a con would be that they think you're mentally retarded or whatever the PC term for it is nowadays.

I probably should know this, judging from how open I am about being diagnosed and how obvious it usually is.

 

[Nisk]

Con - having to explain what it is all the time

 

[Beverly]

Pro, none unless you have the recourses and influence to be an activist and accomplish something that benefits all of us.

Con, people see you as disabled, "special" retarded, stupid, socially inept, worthless, underclass, good for nothing but being kicked to the curb and stomped on.

 

[Harrison]

Pro - people never complain that I don't call them, go out with them or remember anything about them. I am left alone to get on with it. My eccentricity has another name. My special interest became my career, and for decades I was able to change a lot of peoples lives (their words not mine), now my new special interest just makes people happy, and that makes me happy. I am as childlike and full of wonder for life now as when I was actually a child, life is an awesome bag of surprises.

Con - People expect me to never make a mistake, and when I do, it becomes 'news'.

 

[Nitro]

Although technically I am considered autie and not aspie,the pros to it are extreme focus,the ability to take said focus to assemble many items for a big picture,intelligence and the ability to share what I consider gifts with the every human on the planet in one form or another.Being on the autism spectrum does not have to be viewed as totally negative in my personal experience with it.

The cons to it are the inability to totally get what others feel and the inability to maintain relationships outside of just friendships.

 

[Progster]

Pros - perhaps they won't tell me not to stim, they'll take me seriously when I say that it's too loud in here, that I can't hear when two people are talking at once or over the TV so the TV has to be switched off, or they may not be offended if I say or do something that they find a bit 'off' socially, or they won't think bad of me if I need to leave a social event early, or that I want to be left alone to do my own thing.

Cons: People often don't know what ASD is beyond the usual media stereotype images, and they compare and judge you according to those images. They either expect you to be some super intelligent maths genius, or a savant, or they expect you to be stupid or incompetent. Both of which are completely wrong, in my case. The public needs to be better educated about ASD.

 

[clg114]

Pros: As far as I am concerned, there aren't any.

Cons: If you tell the average person that you are autistic, they will ether will not believe you or will not understand. It is hard to believe what some people think that autism is. For me, it is a need to know basis only. Other than my family, very few people know. I'm perfectly happy being "that old ,weird, smart guy".

 

[Suzanne]

Neither for me! Actually just today, someone came over for a bite to eat and for some strange reason, I go and explain that I am an aspie, but for once, I did not feel that I was drowning, despite this person saying they had never heard of it before. I guess because I said: that there is a good chance you have never heard of it before, but you can look it up on the internet. The worst part and I find this to be a general rule, is that I get: oh well, everyone feels like that or I get that from time to time! I honestly hate that and know that if I LOOKED disabled, they certainly wouldn't say: oh I get that etc etc.

I am embarrassed because I get confused with the wording of: pros and cons. So I take a stab in the dark and say that it is mostly been negative for me, which is perhaps: cons? The very few who know, just carry on as normal with me, but one especially, does not ask me to do something anymore and thus, I do feel she is at least trying to understand and also, when I am at a spiritual meeting ( Jehovah's Witness), when it has finished, occasionally I get overwhelmed and deeply shy and go to escape, but this one spiritual sister usually calls my name in a friendly way which halts me from darting out of the door and I usually am ok after that. She has said before that sometimes she feels shy and if everyone is chatting, it can be difficult for her too!

I think for personal reasons it has to be a: pro because finding out at long last what is going on, really does help me enormously to deal with each given situation! One thing, happily that I do not do and that is make being an aspie, an excuse to get away with things!!! I rather, if it is at all possible, try to work on some of those negative traits!

 

[Lysander]

What do you think they are?

Pros:

More understanding and less hostility.
Lower anxiety.
You've shared who you are and it feels good.

Cons:

Less understanding and more hostility.
Greater anxiety.
You have not shared who you are and it feels oppressive.

The costs and benefits of sharing your aspie status are a measuring rod for the character of whomever you have shared it with.

Bad example: A brief landlady of mine was sickeningly hateful towards me - she was abusive and an alcoholic. She was either watching church on T.V. or yelling at me for the fun of it.

Great example: I told my friends and it turns out they may have aspie status too. Even those who do not land on the spectrum have given me the benefit of the doubt - those relationships have not changed, but I get to enjoy feeling accepted.

 

[ancusmitis]

Pros:

More understanding and less hostility.
Lower anxiety.
You've shared who you are and it feels good.

Cons:

Less understanding and more hostility.
Greater anxiety.
You have not shared who you are and it feels oppressive.

The costs and benefits of sharing your aspie status are a measuring rod for the character of whomever you have shared it with.

Bad example: A brief landlady of mine was sickeningly hateful towards me - she was abusive and an alcoholic. She was either watching church on T.V. or yelling at me for the fun of it.

Great example: I told my friends and it turns out they may have aspie status too. Even those who do not land on the spectrum have given me the benefit of the doubt - those relationships have not changed, but I get to enjoy feeling accepted.

That is very much my experience (different examples, obviously) but I wasn't sure just how to say it.

In bold is the part I feel most strongly.

 

[Moore]

I'm new to the forum and just recently underwent the research and testing that I feel comfortable enough to consider myself self-diagnosed. I have not shared this information with many but I think there is definitely some pros to telling those close to you that will easily recognize certain traits when explained.
Pros: my wife understands me more than she ever has. She has a better understanding of my reasoning behind certain behavior and why I am somewhat different than most people, and different isn't entirely a negative thing. Some traits can be but just as many has made me the man I am today.

Cons: being forced to be open and honest about aspects of my personality that I have never shared with anyone before. Once you tell someone the reason of seeking diagnosis and why you feel you fall within the spectrum you are sharing information about your life you've kept hidden your entire life. This can be a very uncomfortable and nervous aspect of informing people.

This is why I have chosen to only share with a very small close circle. Maybe with time I will include others, but I think it only helps those close to me better understand who I am.