Pro/Con-Woman seeking adult diagnosis

[Chance]

Today I woke up obsessed with weighing the pros and cons of seeking a diagnosis for myself. I called the autism center in my state and spoke a nice woman who spent a good amount of time on the phone with me. She then emailed me, that she spoke to a Dr. In my area for advice and that I should call him. His advice was-

that typical people will treat me poorly due to a lack of their own education on the subject. It would cause insurance issues for me. It can prevent me from getting jobs, because it would be a "red flag" for employers. It could cause custody problems if I ever divorced. That our area has no HFA services that could help me even if I had the diagnosis. He told me that in his experience, Aspies are always smart enough to self diagnose because of our research abilities. He even offered me a discrete evaluation if I wanted one. I feel good, and bad. Good that even he said that if I think I am, and the family history is there, I am. But very sad that there are no adult programs to help me. I can probably find woman's work programs, but none for people like me who have auditory sensory problems, anxiety, ect. I'd like to hear some pros and cons from woman aspies who have been through the process for clarity. TY

I am sorry for all your going through.
I'm a guy, and I sort of got trapped into being diagnosed. I was in the ER having a severe panic attack and I shut down bad... The doc sensed it, he noticed my words were sticking, and referred me, and the rest is history. Its ASD w/ anxiety, panic, depression, OCD, PTSD, and mild Tourettes... I just saw my life as I know it ending. I was in one way relieved, and in one way crushed.

However I was told I had to tell my employer I have ASD... It terrified me. I had nightmares, I had daymares. I just knew they would let me go, or demote me... I actually run a corporation and call most all the shots. I build the annual budget, set up Board of Directors Meetings, all of it.. I got so scared... I just knew my life was about to change horribly. That's classic ASD at work in my head, and I couldn't even function. So I told the President of the Board I needed to talk to him. I spilled the beans hoping he would understand.

His son has pretty severe ADHD and some autistic traits... He already suspected it. This is my boss, who has become one of my few very close friends. He treats me more like his little brother than an employee. I can tell him anything and he will take the time to help me hash it out. I just try not to burden him with anything trivial.

So, I was wrong of course. If anything, it was just like a light bulb going off. They have been very caring and it has never affected my job. So, far our insurance had no direct questions for ASD. I did have to tell the insurance I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and depression and list the meds I was prescribed. It made no difference in our premium, nor has anyone seemed to be worried.
Instead they do funny things to lift me up mostly. They know I shut down, and that is what they didn't understand before. I am extremely quite and never say much at all, now they get it. However I do my job very well, and that was more important to them than the ASD diagnosis.

I cant predict any others situations, but mostly mine has been positive, when it seemed so negative.

 

[Suzanne]

I only just seen this pop up!

I am self diagnosed and there is little chance of me getting a formal diagnosis. However, when I was searching to find if there was a chance, I spoke to a lovely lady and she said that it is a shame aspies are not trusted to diagnose themselves, because they are so dedicated to finding out as much as they can, that they are more experts than the supposeded "expert" and then, said that where I live, which is in France ( I am from the uk), that there is not a lot of chance of being diagnosed.

However, I have just been formally diganosed with social phobia and ptsd and they are making a good impact. The people who need to know are being really good and are actually trying to accommodate me, which is a shock, but pleasant one.

So, perhaps instead of going to get diagnosed with aspergers, one can try for another "mental health" issue?