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Personal Experience with God.

W

Wolfnox

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I dont consider myself worthy of being saved by God. But he does. Each time i sin i immediately blame myself for being a fool. Then carry the regret after asking forgiveness. Its a long fight to pull myself up from this. All the while God's there helping me pull threw. All i want to do is scream. " WHY!?WHY IM I WORTHY TO BE SAVED!!!!???? WHY DO YOU WANT TO SAVE SOMEONE WHO CONSTANTLY SINS!!!!?????" He never answers this question. He just takes my hand guides me back to righteousness. He tells me not to ask why. Just to know that i am worth saving. I dont always know what to do with that. So i get up pull together what strength i have and move forward. Its all i can do. I can never repay him. But i can live for him.
 
Try to tap into your very young child and how you thought your mother! thought and felt about you . I find it very hard to do ,I can barely comprehend sin And I repeat rarely or not at all anything anybody communicates teaches via written text has any affect on me, I think they have a sense of worth and I think it just purely comes from autism,it’s not completely miraculous ,there is still some lack !But the Bible says we change /transform from glory to glory (glory meaning looking /being more like God) my transformation is in a very very very painful stage . it always strikes me as funny when I hear that God asks us not to ask why !it’s like asking a person not to breathe , I try to understand it like if I thought somebody I loved was going to die ,how desperate I feel and how devastated I was when my kitten ( i’ve heard about humans talk about what they feel about their children dying 、I remember how shocking! it was that the kitten was dead ,I remember standing in my back garden and crying so loudly, people would hear it ,before burying the kitten and after )died , I still can’t feel what God feels it’s different For me than you ! as I’ve experienced what I call great devastation ,for me it was when my mother died .
 
i’m writing this so I will learn eventually , when will I learn Christians of all neurological types dislike me .
 
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