Kit
Well-Known Member
When you have a disability, I am sure we can all tell when a behavior is deliberate than just someone living their normal life or doing their normal thing.
People will purposely make noise to trigger your sensory overload it intentionally touch your stuff or move your stuff to trigger you. I would say this is more common when we are kids because kids are mean and will intentionally do things to trigger you because they lack empathy.
Even when I was in high school and my brothers were in junior high, I do believe to this day they were intentionally loud and would do things to trigger my anxiety and my parents would side with them.
I was an adult when I found out my mom knew there were people out there that intentionally do things trigger people because she used to be in a secret sister group and someone there had anxiety issues. I am sure she was on the autism spectrum based on what my mom had told me about her but back then she said it was anxiety she has (I think she was undiagnosed and maybe she thought it was only anxiety she had than looking at the reason behind it). But anyway she had to be in control and have things go a certain way or she would get anxious (sounds like autism to me and my mom also mentioned she had social issues as well). Well people in that group would deliberately do things to make her anxious and one time she made this tray and used olives as garnish. She told everyone to not eat the garnish and told them what the garnish was. But someone decided to take a olive in front of her and eat it just to get her upset. She bragged about it to my mom and she was so disgusted she quit the group because she got tired of the bullying on the woman and said this could be her own daughter in the future.
The ironic thing is she didn't seem to care when my brothers and their friends were doing this to me when I was 15 and 16.They were at an age where kids rebel and are assholes so I have seen a pattern with teens who are like 12-14 that they will dilbratly do things to trigger people with mental illnesses and disabilities based on stories I have read online. But the difference is they are kids and they grow out of it so they get a pass and forgiveness for their ableism. But if an adult does it, I judge them harshly.
But I bet this will be hard to convince people without a disability that a behavior is deliberate and they are doing it to trigger you. Reason why my mom knew in her secret sister group is because they bragged about it but I doubt she would know my brothers and their friends did it intentionally to trigger my anxiety as well. I don't blame them, I blame my parents because they enabled it and would gaslight me about it saying "this is their house too and have right to have friends over." Except them having friends over wasn't the point, it was them being loud and being in my personal space and making messes and running in and out of the house and tracking in dirt and I hated having to clean up after them. Then by the time they were maybe 15 and 16, they had grown out of that asshole phase and were finally empathetic and they stopped being rowdy teens and started to accommodate me. They would still have their parties and have their friends but they were no so loud and being wild. But by the time that had happened, I was already 19 and was out of high school. Then I moved out.
But that is one of the things about not being NT, people won't take you seriously and your parents who have always advocated for you and done so much for you can still act abusive by being enablers for this and start blaming you for your anxiousness.
Now as a parent, I can tell when my daughter is trying to trigger my son because he is upset over trivial things and I do not like it when she tries to provoke him and trigger him so she does get in trouble by me. I don't enable it. I guess that is a bonus as being a parent with a disability, not letting this cycle continue and being able to see when a behavior is intentional just to trigger your child who has a disability also. But to be fair, my son will also try and bug her and provoke her and he gets in trouble too because of sibling rivalry.
People will purposely make noise to trigger your sensory overload it intentionally touch your stuff or move your stuff to trigger you. I would say this is more common when we are kids because kids are mean and will intentionally do things to trigger you because they lack empathy.
Even when I was in high school and my brothers were in junior high, I do believe to this day they were intentionally loud and would do things to trigger my anxiety and my parents would side with them.
I was an adult when I found out my mom knew there were people out there that intentionally do things trigger people because she used to be in a secret sister group and someone there had anxiety issues. I am sure she was on the autism spectrum based on what my mom had told me about her but back then she said it was anxiety she has (I think she was undiagnosed and maybe she thought it was only anxiety she had than looking at the reason behind it). But anyway she had to be in control and have things go a certain way or she would get anxious (sounds like autism to me and my mom also mentioned she had social issues as well). Well people in that group would deliberately do things to make her anxious and one time she made this tray and used olives as garnish. She told everyone to not eat the garnish and told them what the garnish was. But someone decided to take a olive in front of her and eat it just to get her upset. She bragged about it to my mom and she was so disgusted she quit the group because she got tired of the bullying on the woman and said this could be her own daughter in the future.
The ironic thing is she didn't seem to care when my brothers and their friends were doing this to me when I was 15 and 16.They were at an age where kids rebel and are assholes so I have seen a pattern with teens who are like 12-14 that they will dilbratly do things to trigger people with mental illnesses and disabilities based on stories I have read online. But the difference is they are kids and they grow out of it so they get a pass and forgiveness for their ableism. But if an adult does it, I judge them harshly.
But I bet this will be hard to convince people without a disability that a behavior is deliberate and they are doing it to trigger you. Reason why my mom knew in her secret sister group is because they bragged about it but I doubt she would know my brothers and their friends did it intentionally to trigger my anxiety as well. I don't blame them, I blame my parents because they enabled it and would gaslight me about it saying "this is their house too and have right to have friends over." Except them having friends over wasn't the point, it was them being loud and being in my personal space and making messes and running in and out of the house and tracking in dirt and I hated having to clean up after them. Then by the time they were maybe 15 and 16, they had grown out of that asshole phase and were finally empathetic and they stopped being rowdy teens and started to accommodate me. They would still have their parties and have their friends but they were no so loud and being wild. But by the time that had happened, I was already 19 and was out of high school. Then I moved out.
But that is one of the things about not being NT, people won't take you seriously and your parents who have always advocated for you and done so much for you can still act abusive by being enablers for this and start blaming you for your anxiousness.
Now as a parent, I can tell when my daughter is trying to trigger my son because he is upset over trivial things and I do not like it when she tries to provoke him and trigger him so she does get in trouble by me. I don't enable it. I guess that is a bonus as being a parent with a disability, not letting this cycle continue and being able to see when a behavior is intentional just to trigger your child who has a disability also. But to be fair, my son will also try and bug her and provoke her and he gets in trouble too because of sibling rivalry.