Past failures and shortcomings.

[Tony Ramirez]

Now that I am socially distant from my friends from Church. I only chat with them during group videos or texts. I been thinking about my past failures, failed academically and career wise. My shortcomings not being in a relationship or having many friends now which is harder because of this annoying social distancing. I guess this is my midlife crises now having even more free time than before.

 

[Thinx]

Hi Tony, sorry you are feeling down. All this social distancing is temporary remember, and will be over in a while. It is keeping you and others safe, so that you can meet up with your friends and meet others at a later date, not too long ahead.

It's also important to remember that all of us who are neurodiverse have had challenges all through our lives to interpret communication and manage in a world where our situation and needs are different and are not well understood. Because of this, it's not surprising most of us feel we haven't always achieved as much as we might have.

None of us wanted lock downs, but it will be over in a while, and maybe you can use the time to further some of your interests, try a new hobby, watch some documentaries etc to while away the time until you are back out and about. Above all, try to distract yourself from regrets and self blame, it will make you feel sad, and it's unfair on yourself, because you try very hard to progress, from what I can see.

I hope you feel better soon, maybe put a good comedy film on and laugh away the blues.

 

[Aspychata]

True, all this social distancing forces us to open up Pandora's box and get on our bike and go round and round. I have accepted that l ruminate, l just make more of a better *rumination* choice now.
So when l start to head down the rumination pity party- table for me only, l stop and do something else. Like listen to music, watch cat videos, or look for places to buy.
So the minute you feel you are escaping thru the rumination door-stop- make a conscious choice to overthink about something you like.
I have side rumination hobbies- cooking, cooking books, looking for properties to buy.
You always have great ideas for baking, etc.
We have free time now but we have to power thru this. This timeout forced me to see how much l depend on routine in my life. It also made find more things to be thankful for.
Don't beat yourself up for over- thinking perceived failures, just find something to new to overthink that makes you feel passionate!

 

[Mia]

Sometimes I wish people would stop beating themselves up so much. It's hard work to constantly hear that critical voice. Were harder on ourselves I think than anybody else can ever be. And this entire 'we should be this or that' are someone else's ideas of what it means to be successful.

It's what you think that matters, not what society tells us to be. Without that brainwashing, we might or could be who we really are. Think you need to practice cutting off that critical voice mid-sentence with a no! And look at the things you have done, been and are. Those will give you clues as to your true nature and identity.

We all tend to ruminate on past mistakes, lost opportunities, I think it's pretty usual because we second-guess ourselves all the time. It's a tough time, now. Everything that was before has changed. I'm going to wait it out.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I gave up career wise when I started to collect SSI.

I did give up last year on ever making friends or talking to a girl both I ended up doing with success so all hope is not lost.

 

[SDRSpark]

I really struggle with this and being unable to get out to distract myself isn't helping, either. I had to take two weeks off work and I really realized just how much I need to be working (routine is more important to me than I thought it was) in order to stay sane and in control. It was a challenge sitting at home, even with the opportunities I had for exercise and the projects I had lined up.