Overstimulated in Public Places?

[Kit Hunter]

The other day, I went grocery shopping with my mother and it occurred to me how distracted and overstimulated I can get in public places. All the people bustling about, lights, sounds, smells, brightly colored objects all over the shelves, price-tags. Dizzying.

It's like I can't resist reading every price tag so that I can figure out what the best possible deal is, or what the best product is, or whatever. And then there are people - children gawking or whining, people giving me bug eyes. Usually I try to ignore them but it kind of annoys me. And then, if I see someone interesting and want to look at them, I can't. Because that would be considered "staring" and staring = rude.

After I got home from this particular trip, my mother told me that she had tried to ask me a question about the ingredients needed for Eggs Benedict, and how I repeatedly responded "I don't know! I don't know!" Thing is, I don't even remember doing this because at that time I was drowning in a sea of stimuli.

The same sort of over-stimulation happened at a farmer's-market-food-court and happens basically every time I go anywhere. Anyway, I just wanted to know if any of you have experienced something similar, or if you have any stories about sensory over-stimulation and what usually happens with you?

 

[CloudRomy]

Yes, I can relate to this. I start feeling myself shutdown and become trance-like. It is the only way to cope. I find it easier to deal with on my own as going into shutdown doesn't affect anyone else then and I can be how I need to be to get through.

 

[Progster]

Yes, I have this a lot when I'm talking to someone and there's too much going on around me. If I'm on my own I can deal with it because I can slow down, leave or find a way to block some of it out , but if I have another person with me to deal with who is trying to talk to me in a noisy or otherwise hectic environment, I can easily become overstimulated. I can deal with one stimulus, but not more than one at once assaulting my senses. Usually I can remember the experience, but not all the details, I miss things. Examples are:

Being with my boss in the car driving through the city centre, we stopped at a busy place for lunch and I suddenly started to feel a bit dizzy and not able, not wanting to take in anything more, no talking, no noise, no movement, nothing but a feeling of desperation and needing it to stop, I think this was the start of a shutdown. Luckily my boss told me to sit down and wait, so I found a table away from the queue of people at the counter and just kind of zoned out until she came with the lunch and I felt a bit better.

My mum needing the loo in a Tesco's that I hadn't ever been to before, and moving too quickly through the store, I had to slow down and stop while she carried on alone, and wait for her near the entrance - I think my brain was wanting to absorb everything in the store and couldn't keep up with how fast I was moving. I always proceed at my own pace through places like supermarkets, and new places in general to give me enough time to take it in.

I had met up with someone and was returning home with him on the metro, already feeling overstimulated from the meeting. His stop was before mine and as he got off, he made eye contact with me. Somehow that upset the balance - I had to get off at the next stop and then catch another train. I managed to get off the train, but couldn't concentrate enough to remember which platform to go to in order to catch the next train, my mind was a total muddle. I went back and forth from one side to the other like a headless chicken, and it took a full 20 minutes before it began to pass and I was able to concentrate well enough to go to the platform.

At school I hit upon the idea of gathering conkers (a very valuable 'commodity' when I was a kid in the 80s) and selling them. So I set up a conker stall on the school yard (consisting of an overturned cardboard box). Soon, some kids began to show an interest in the conkers and bought some. Those kids brought in more kids, and a crowd began to form. I started to get very excited and I don't know what happened, but I found myself on the opposite side of the schoolyard to where the conkers were. And all the conkers gone except the smaller ones. It's like I go into overdrive, my brain switches off and I no longer control my body. When I get overexcited I get the urge to run to the far end of the room and I'm not even aware that I'm doing it, it's somehow reflexive or involuntary.

There's a street here that I don't ever walk down because the cars are all parked on the pavement and one is forced to walk in the street, and I find the cars and other pedestrians passing close to me too overstimulating.

Not hearing people speak to me because there's too much going on? Yes, that happens a lot. When I was teaching in a language school I had this issue, and my boss told me that she thought I had hearing problems because I wasn't hearing what people were saying to me, and wanted me to go and get my hearing tested. It often happens that people tell me that they have told me things, but I have no recollection of it - either I have a bad memory or I didn't process it at all. Now I no longer live in a hectic city, it's a small town and there aren't many crowds or busy places, so I'm usually ok.

 

[Sully]

I remember in eighth grade attending a school function with my mother. It was very crowded and noisy. Apparently a teacher had come right up to me and was talking to me for quite a while. When I didn't respond my mother got angry and said with a stern voice, "she's talking to you." I didn't realize someone was nearly face to face to me talking. I was in a trance from all the commotion. That type of thing would happen often.

I can usually deal with most types of background noise, but a lot of people talking is the most stressful stimulus for me. For example, in a theater or concert hall before the performance begins that noise where all the different voices come together into one droning, neuron frying, brain-washing cacophony.

 

[AsheSkyler]

The last time I remember being distinctly overwhelmed was at a holiday gathering where there were a lot more people than I had prepared for and they were LOUD people. My body shut down and I stared at a wall. I don't know if I had the resources to even stim. But I was tracking every loud conversation. Oi, that was exhausting. They thought I wasn't paying attention, so I let them talk about me for a bit before I embarrassed them.

It takes one heck of a crowd to overwhelm me, I'm usually prepared well enough when I go out to handle it. If I do start getting overwhelmed, I have a long fuse and my processing speed seems to pick up. I walk, move, and react faster, I have a constant glare, and I give very short answers. If my anxiety kicks in, might as well call me Jack. Hm, hm?

 

[Judge]

Shopping Mall for me...Christmas season in 2013. Couldn't handle the sensory overload any more. Too many people, loud elevator style holiday music...too frustrated looking for something I couldn't find. Ended up practically running out.

Didn't go anywhere near the mall in 2014.

 

[JCPHN]

I actually ran out of a bar a few months ago when I was out with a friend and some girls that work at a restaurant across from my apartment, it was pretty embarrassing, but somehow less so than being in the bar, dancing. I've been working on it, and improving a bit, though.

 

[garnetflower13]

I stopped being able to tolerate loud, noisy events about six years ago. I used to love going to the annual used book sale in my town, but now I can't deal with people crowding around, going through the books on display and the noise of them all talking. There is also a local farmer's market that is held once a week, and for the first time I went with my husband and we were both glad to get out of there after buying some fresh fruit and veggies. And forget concerts or plays! The sound of applause makes me want to run out of the place while screaming!

 

[Sully]

I stopped being able to tolerate loud, noisy events about six years ago.

I thought aspie hypersensitivity was supposed to decrease over time. I think I just get tired of trying and resign to stay in the comfort zone.

 

[garnetflower13]

It depends on the individual. Of course in my case, I have a physical disability that causes me to suffer from hyperacusis.

 

[Datura]

I have a very manic friend with a tendency to laugh non-stop when she is under stress. One night I had her over at my house for a couple of hours and I just kind of shut down. I didn't leave or tell her to stop because I felt that would be rude. After she left though, I just kind of sat there staring into space. It was time to go to bed and my partner at the time gently took my arm as a signal to go with her. I pulled away, which shocked her. I explained that I was feeling overwhelmed and couldn't be touched right then, and that I didn't want to talk, I just needed some time alone. She obliged and I just spent some time in silence before going to bed. This sticks out for me because touch isn't usually an issue for me, but at that moment it was unbearable.

 

[garnetflower13]

I have a very manic friend with a tendency to laugh non-stop when she is under stress. One night I had her over at my house for a couple of hours and I just kind of shut down. I didn't leave or tell her to stop because I felt that would be rude. After she left though, I just kind of sat there staring into space. It was time to go to bed and my partner at the time gently took my arm as a signal to go with her. I pulled away, which shocked her. I explained that I was feeling overwhelmed and couldn't be touched right then, and that I didn't want to talk, I just needed some time alone. She obliged and I just spent some time in silence before going to bed. This sticks out for me because touch isn't usually an issue for me, but at that moment it was unbearable.

Wow, I can relate to that! When I get really overwhelmed from sensory stuff, I can't even stand to have my husband touch me for awhile. It usually passes, then I need deep pressure hugs.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I thought aspie hypersensitivity was supposed to decrease over time. I think I just get tired of trying and resign to stay in the comfort zone.

I've read from a lot of older Aspies that some of their symptoms worsen with age. Sometimes your symptoms age like wine, sometimes they age like milk.

 

[Licorice]

The stores around here have miniature carts for the children to run around with during the busy holiday seasons. It's... something else.

 

[Tia Maria]

I've read from a lot of older Aspies that some of their symptoms worsen with age. Sometimes your symptoms age like wine, sometimes they age like milk.

I wanted to flag that as FUNNY but don't want anyone to think that I'm saying worsening symptoms are funny. They are not. But your way with words AsheSkyler is way FUNNY! Maybe someone should start a compilation of all your good one & two liners! They are worth remembering!

 

[Spiller]

I find my sensitivity is worse as I get older, but I've also developed coping strategies, such as retreating to the car for a bit if I'm feeling overwhelmed by crowds. I'm less tolerant of bustle, loud noise, bright light and people looking at me and it's harder to cope when I have to go at someone elses' pace.. I like to go at my own speed as there are people to look at and stuff to take in.
Once a week I sit in a Costa's on my laptop for 3 hours between 1-4pm - it's really busy and noisy from 2-3pm, but I'm expecting it and can endure it for that time and its peacefully quiet after the lunch rush. I find this really helps me desensitise somewhat in situations where I might encounter crowds - I feel less cospicuous now and less distracted or shocked by noise and moving bodies.