Online personality versus offline personality

[Gracey]

I have as much time as I'd like to construct a response to a topic online and there's no pressure to display correct body language, tone of voice or make eye contact.

If I don't quite understand something I'm under no obligation to join in the conversation. I can wander off and read another conversation. Having a choice and not having to dig out practiced scripts under time pressure makes for a different style of interaction with others, something I'm still learning (not being computer or tech' savvi)

I can still blunder into faux pas online by having strong opinions about something or other but far less frequently than in real time.

The way I approach online conversations is different to the way I try to avoid real time conversations, in that respect, yes, parts of me are much different online.

Edited to add, here, on this particular forum. Since finding this site I don't use other forums. (Not online that much)

 

[Sofi]

I think my personality on it's own is probably similar. However, I think I come across a lot more confident and outspoken online than I am offline. I find it difficult to talk a lot in a conversation offline but it's much easier to think through responses and re-word things online before submitting them! I also have shared more online, probably because it's just easier. I share very little with people 'in real life'! It is also easier to convey care and sympathy to others online because I'm not good at that offline. I am probably more confident with people I know well offline, but that is only a few people.

I often wonder, too, how much of my personality is affected by ASD. I feel it's probably a lot due to how introverted I am but I tend to just accept that as my personality.

 

[Fitzo]

If only there was an edit option IRL!!!

 

[Progster]

I share very little with people 'in real life'! It is also easier to convey care and sympathy to others online because I'm not good at that offline.

Me too, and I agree with your point about conveying sympathy and care.

If only there was an edit option IRL!!!

Or a rewind button.

 

[Mary Anne]

It's about the same, with a couple differences.

1) I talk more IRL. In any written form, you have to be aware of the TL;DR (too long, did not read) Effect. Sure, some people will read the entire book you write, but you'll get more readers with a better comprehension of your point if you're clear, concise, and to-the-point. IRL, the same does apply, but to a lesser degree since people tend to prefer non-silence over silence, so filling the air with talky-words just makes you seem more outgoing.

2) No body language online. I use exaggerated, over-the-top body language that makes me really intense to talk to, apparently. I also follow the general rule of staying in motion while talking. It's sort of like how magicians will use their hands while pattering to distract a mark while they use sleight of hand. If you keep your hands moving while you talk, your audience will be literally almost unable to take their eyes off you, which means you'll hold their attention even if you stumble or need to stall while speaking. This is opposed to being a "talking statue"; people don't listen to "talking statue"s.

But even though the "how" will inevitably differ between online and IRL, the "what" - the message, including my beliefs, opinions, and attitudes - stays the same.

For a person with sensory disorders (myself), all the motion you describe would make me uncomfortable. Perhaps even dizzy! I lived as NT for most of my life. I score as half autistic. I have never heard of any “rule” where one has to keep hands moving. I have worked in many environments. Those loud, talkative, and moving around are not my idea of someone easy to listen to. I think I understand what you mean, but to talk in extreme exaggerations with “talking statues” versus “distractive, staying in motion” is to give people who might not be aware, wrong ideas of how to behave when they are talking to others.

 

[Mary Anne]

My online is sometimes viewed as bold, harsh, perhaps aggressive. Online gets me into trouble sometimes. I am too unfiltered, and too quick to express my thoughts, whatever they may be.

My offline is much quieter, and pleasant, and not quick to speak up. Offline takes hours -often a few days- to verbalized a hurt, or anger.

Online is immediate, full force, thunder and lightening. I can easily list and vent. It’s infuritating that the NTs in my life want me to vocalize my feelings to them directly when something upsetting goes down. I only want to communicate when I am upset via writing on paper, online, or text.

It’s like two completely different people, and I wish it were not like that.

 

[WildCat]

...It’s like two completely different people, and I wish it were not like that.

I hear you on this. It feels so unreal at times, my inner self and my outer self being so different, but that's the best way I can handle the world. It's all I've known up to this point.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

My online is sometimes viewed as bold, harsh, perhaps aggressive. Online gets me into trouble sometimes. I am too unfiltered, and too quick to express my thoughts, whatever they may be.

My offline is much quieter, and pleasant, and not quick to speak up. Offline takes hours -often a few days- to verbalized a hurt, or anger.

Online is immediate, full force, thunder and lightening. I can easily list and vent. It’s infuritating that the NTs in my life want me to vocalize my feelings to them directly when something upsetting goes down. I only want to communicate when I am upset via writing on paper, online, or text.

It’s like two completely different people, and I wish it were not like that.

Could you swap the personalities for a day?

Or would the world end?

 

[Lemon Zing]

To be honest, it's maybe easier to be more expressive online, but I think over the past 10 years, there has been a decline with how many people use forums, because of Twitter and all that. I'd love to expand with YouTube, but I think it's very money consuming to go doing videos for no profit, and I don't know how the highest ranked users design all those logos, backgrounds and all that to have in their recordings. They had to learn like anybody else, I suppose, but I wouldn't know how to begin and it would probably take having a lot of computer knowledge.

 

[Lichi]

Online I feel I can say things and they will be out there. I don’t have to figure out my turn to talk. I am definitely an over-sharer and share too much in public. If you catch me in a personal message I will be just as socially awkward as in real life.

 

[Lemon Zing]

Those morons who have slandered me on Facebook film groups, need to grow up...