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You’re so young, BrokenBoy. I remember struggling so terribly in high school, but believe me there is a light at the end of the tunnel - and a new world beyond it. Don’t give up yet.
I understand you perfectly, I do not have a real connection with the world, the few "friends" I have had IRL have disappointed me, although it is true that I would feel guilty for how bad my mother would be for my suicide, I am also an only child.

I tried suicide years ago too, and honestly it's rare the day that I don't have suicidal thoughts. Life is hard, life is scary, but so is death, knowing that you will simply sleep without dreaming forever.

The only good thing about loneliness is that I would not miss anyone and no one would miss me except the closest family.

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