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Old & Isolated

JDartistic

JDartistic

Well-Known Member
Anyone else struggling with isolation as an older person? I just turned 60 & am worried about aging alone without any support or family.

I do my best & have lived a good life with friends & even was married once (divorced now) but as I’ve aged, it’s harder to meet people & I find myself alone & staying at home all the time.

I try to force myself out & I do have a job & my art keeps me busy but there’s something very lonely & frightening about aging alone as an HF autistic person. Anyone else in the same boat?
 
Guilty as charged.

I'm old, autistic and quite alone. Yeah, at times it can be a lonely life. Though I still try to keep it all in perspective.

Particularly in the value of solitude and independence. That ultimately my relative isolation is by choice.

After all If I were surrounded by people, I'd probably be equally miserable.
 
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Old and alone. Wouldn’t have chosen it. Life was very difficult due to autism. Wife gone now. I’m okay with the isolation; I’m not bothering anyone and vice versa. A rest before I leave.
 
I am concerned as I age yet am not worried about isolation. I belong to activity groups and continue to make friends. I remain concerned over remaining active as I age and living independently, especially after the past two years of medical issues.
 
It's a big concern for me. I've thought about moving closer to my family, but that's just too much to do.
 
The isolation isn't a big concern for myself, I've always dug solitude. Having my neighbors a little further away would have been cool. My own concern at 62 is the future of the critters here if I suddenly expire. The inanimate stuff here can be junked. Medical issues are multiplying, but are mild so far....
 
JDartistic said:
Anyone else struggling with isolation as an older person? I just turned 60 & am worried about aging alone without any support or family.

I do my best & have lived a good life with friends & even was married once (divorced now) but as I’ve aged, it’s harder to meet people & I find myself alone & staying at home all the time.

I try to force myself out & I do have a job & my art keeps me busy but there’s something very lonely & frightening about aging alone as an HF autistic person. Anyone else in the same boat?
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I'm about 20 years younger, but due to chronic Lyme Disease symptoms, I'm in a similar situation. What I can do has changed considerably, though I still get out. I still have some friends and some family, but not many who are close, geographically.

For me, there is occasional worry, but also relief. Like Judge mentioned, too much connection could be very stressful. It's nice having some barriers, even if it can get lonely. But, I do wonder what my mobility will be like at 60 and beyond, considering where I am now.
 
I have similar concerns. I spend most of my time happily alone (with my cat) and do not go out often. I am 50, divorced w/ no children and live with a neurological disability which limits what I can do because it causes me to pass out at times (as well as other limitations). According to my doctors, I should not live alone due to the faint/ fall risk. I currently have an ND roommate who is not home often, but it is a temporary situation and I will have to move eventually. I don't know anyone else right now that I could live with happily, and I never really meet new people. A lot of my doctors have suggested that I move in with family. But that is currently not an option because most of my family lives across the country in places where there are no doctors who can treat what I have. So, I could not move there, even if I wanted to. (Being around my family all of the time is really too much for me. That's how I ended up moving so far away from them in the 1st place...and only 1 of them understands me.) I don't really want to live in NYC for the rest of my life because its too much for me sensory-wise and too expensive. I would like to live somewhere quieter and with more access to nature. But I need the conveniences of having medical care and grocery store nearby, as I am not really supposed to drive a car. Currently, I walk or cab everywhere or get deliveries. I don't really know where I would want to live otherwise, but hope to figure it out someday. So, for now, because I am still enjoying working part time doing gestational diabetes research through a local hospital and university, I am here. Who knows what the future holds.
 
When I was young, I was eager to move to a big city. There was, at least, a large variety of people to meet if I could. Now, with all the PTSD from dealing with a few of those, I can only handle an hour of social time a day and still get adequate sleep. Eighteen years ago, I moved to the boondocks because I could not handle renting any longer, but I could afford to buy a house at risk of being abandoned. I expected the 'net to make location irrelevant, but then Facebonk ruined the listservs.
Now, I'm the last of my family, and I'm having a hard time finding anyone to continue my work. The younger generation seems to be very prejudiced but in new ways.
 
Being alone is a lot more pleasant than being with people all the time for me. Once, even before half of the PTSD, I had my mother visiting and my girlfriend hanging around all week. After they left I just sat in my easy chair for days feeling waves of relief.
 
Interesting. I'm 51 and just getting to grips with autism. I've noticed recently that limiting my social interaction helps a lot. So isolation kinda seems like a good thing. But I also have a few family and some communities I'm involved with. So at the moment the interaction is there if I want it and I get to dial it down to an acceptable level. As I age, the opportunities for interaction might reduce and I am starting to wonder if isolation might not look so attractive then.

Right now I'm thinking that I'll become a recluse and focus on some creative projects like writing. And the few interactions I'll have with medical professionals and state-provided carers will be sufficient. :)
 
tazz said:
As I age, the opportunities for interaction might reduce and I am starting to wonder if isolation might not look so attractive then.
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At age 67 that explains my situation rather well. Truth is, it's more akin to "walking the razor's edge" all the time. Where it can be quite dynamic in terms of helping or hindering one on the spectrum. That it both ebbs and flows, much like clinical depression.

Where IMO you have to accept a perpetual likelihood of dealing with both. With solitude delivering both a sense of exaltation and loneliness depending on circumstances.
 
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