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How to become better at being a woman?

apolloidolsice

Active Member
Hi there! I'm afab but I've never been good at being a woman. I've always been the loudest, most dominant in the room if I'm with other females. I don't have the energy to wear tons of make or use skin care. As a child, I related more to movies like the little rascals and Scent of a Woman, rather than female-led movies with female desires. Other girls have bulled me intensely while growing up and most of the time they scare me. How do I become an actual woman? I'm tired of being a social outcast and want to be accepted. Also, I'm too fat and ugly to be a tomboy so don't come with that suggestion since tomboys can only really be thin and cute
 
tomboys can only really be thin and cute
Says who? Tomboys come in all shapes and sizes.

As for being a woman, if you identify as being a woman, then you are one. There's no right or wrong way to be a woman. I know this is a cliche, but it's true: you're unique. You're you. You don't need to be like other people - you just do what you want and let them do what they want.
 
Idk I'd rather work on looking good than trying be someone you're not, it's draining to control yourself 100% of the time - wear a mask. While healthy habits like healthy meals and recreational sport can actually make you feel better. Then there are medicines that can help with acne, for example.
 
Says who? Tomboys come in all shapes and sizes.

As for being a woman, if you identify as being a woman, then you are one. There's no right or wrong way to be a woman. I know this is a cliche, but it's true: you're unique. You're you. You don't need to be like other people - you just do what you want and let them do what they want.
well, search "tomboy gf". none of the memes show a fat tomboy. Also, when was the last time you saw a tomboy in a movie where she was anything but, cute and slim? also whenever an afab/woman who's fat yet masculine is on Tiktok or twitter all the comments ridicule her
 
well, search "tomboy gf". none of the memes show a fat tomboy. Also, when was the last time you saw a tomboy in a movie where she was anything but, cute and slim? also whenever an afab/woman who's fat yet masculine is on Tiktok or twitter all the comments ridicule her
This is one of the reasons why I avoid social media, and pay little attention to it. A lot of the time, it's toxic. And the movies/TV series are full of stereotypes and cliches which don't reflect real life. It's all fake, or a lot of it is. I'm a tomboy too, I don't get this 'being feminine' thing either, never did. But fitting in was never a top priority for me and I never, or rarely, felt the need to be like others. I do my thing and they can do their thing.

It sucks to be bullied. I was bullied at school too, but is wasn't anything to do with my appearance. It was because I had meltdowns and asked "why?" all the time.

I'm comfortable with who I am now, I don't see why I should need to change who I am to suit other people.
 
Also, I'm too fat and ugly to be a tomboy so don't come with that suggestion since tomboys can only really be thin and cute
I think this is a really good place to start to challenge your thinking.

I realize you mentioned different places on the Internet as confirmation that “tomboys” have to look a certain way, but there, too, is an important place to challenge your thinking.

First of all, these are external sources of validation that you have cited. Always thinking about how others will perceive you can usually lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. Every single person on this earth sees things a little bit differently, so there really will be more varied opinions then there appear to be on tick tock and Google, even. Think hard about if you want the commonalities represented on tick tock to govern so much of your life.

I think the answer is to find ways to support internal validation. This is when you feel good about yourself, you feel proud about yourself, and you are confident enough in your own feelings of security that it doesn’t matter what the Internet says. Why give social media so much power over your individual life and the way that you experience the world?

We could start to dissect your thinking with the very word “tomboy.” This in itself is an old-fashioned term from a time when gender roles were more stringent, and any girl that tiptoed outside of a tight stereotype was considered to be more masculine. This, in itself, is old-fashioned thinking, and we have a come far enough to realize that there is a huge gamut between masculine and feminine. It is a spectrum, much like autism.

Find the things you love to do, and do them. Find the clothes you love to wear, and wear them. I think this is a chance for you to become who you really want to be rather than someone that you are imagining will be accepted and liked on tick tock.
 
We could start to dissect your thinking with the very word “tomboy.” This in itself is an old-fashioned term from a time when gender roles were more stringent, and any girl that tiptoed outside of a tight stereotype was considered to be more masculine. This, in itself, is old-fashioned thinking, and we have a come far enough to realize that there is a huge gamut between masculine and feminine. It is a spectrum, much like autism.
Tomboy is a positive stereotype and its not outdated.
 
Just be yourself. Don't let society tell you what a woman is. Born female, and now an adult? You are a woman. The media and corporations thrive on redefining womanhood, and making us buy or do this or that. I remember not that long ago when scary skinny was the trend, and anyone above a size four was considered fat. It was awful.
 
And woman do have to look a certain way to fit that stereotype.
According to your singular opinion, sure, and you demonstrate what @apolloidolsice is up against. The other answers coming into the thread are helpfully suggesting that there is an opportunity for building self-confidence and self-esteem outside of stereotypes. When it comes to self worth, individual experience is more valuable than stereotypes.
 
According to your singular opinion, sure, and you demonstrate what @apolloidolsice is up against. The other answers coming into the thread are helpfully suggesting that there is an opportunity for building self-confidence and self-esteem outside of stereotypes. When it comes to a self worth, individual experience is more valuable than stereotypes.
Thats your opinion i disagree. Tomboy stereotype is about a strong contrast between very feminine Physically appearance and manly clothing and boyish personality. .
 
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A good place to start:

Stereotypes and the realization that they are a homogenized assumption of preconceived notions of preceptions.

Defining anyone, including one's self by unfounded, often unrealistic so called 'standards' is an unconscious form of bias.

If one doesn't fulfill criteria of 1a - 95p then they have failed at being idealized Stereotype A.

Improvement in anything beings with conscious acceptance of the fact that social 'ideals' are fictional constructs, not a realistic goal.

Set down the stereotypes and take a realistic look at goals and expectations in terms of how you define a woman. Make a list of traits you think are most important and consider why they are on the list. Why they matter?

As much as no one wants to hear it's what's on the inside that matters, it is truly what it comes down to. One can strive for as many arbitrary feminitity standards as one likes, but if the internal work on self compassion and worth doesn't happen, nothing will ever be enough.

Start with the foundation of one's self before rushing to meet the goal of a hollow idol because it simply means trading one set of social biases for another.

It is the difference between the construction of the Roman roads and municipal pot hole repair. One started from the foundations, the other is a slapstick patch job.
 
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All beautiful. All incredibly feminine.

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