Not good

[onlything]

So, what to say? To do? What do I want? What do I need?

I got overloaded, panicked, left work, people, everything behind me. Run away. Run away. Where to go? Where am I? I want to go home. But there's no home.

Travel. Lights. Sounds. Wide open eyes but can't see a thing. Cover. Leave me alone. Don't look at me. Don't see me. Don't talk to me. Shut up. Shut up.

It was, what, an hour. An hour of lying down, shaking, staring nowhere, hidden in the room, under the blanket, before the world. A dog licking its wounds. Rocking, whispering, murmuring, yelping like a wounded animal, hyperventilating, what, why, where am I. Lights hurt, sounds hurt, textures hurt. Want to tear apart something or someone, myself, my head, my brain, hit it until there's nothing left. Too much. Yet, not enough? Then, again, body, hands, again happening and you want to run away and cry, just a child again, no help, no defence. You're small, too small, too weak.

Does it sound like madness? I feel mad.

Tell me I'm back, it's finished and not coming back. Just a bit of safety. Is it too much to ask for?

 

[LucyPurrs]

I don't think you're mad but it does sound like you're having a horrible time and I'm so sorry. Wish there was something I could say that would be more helpful. As an NT, was hoping you would get a response from an Aspie which would be more helpful than anything I can offer (other than my support). Hopefully it has stopped by now.

 

[onlything]

I don't think you're mad but it does sound like you're having a horrible time and I'm so sorry. Wish there was something I could say that would be more helpful. As an NT, was hoping you would get a response from an Aspie which would be more helpful than anything I can offer (other than my support). Hopefully it has stopped by now.

It's not exactly something you can say anything to or you can help with. A show of concern is enough. There's no possible solution in the long run, so there are no answers.

Thanks Lucy and thanks for all for your visits.