Not getting enough time to myself

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I have been diagnosed with Aspergers. I am registered at a drop-in run by Autism Initiatives. The charity is very good. They give practical help as will as the staff will listen to you if you need to talk. Especially good sometimes for people with no parents or maybe family to talk to. There are groups and social activities inside and out. There are board games, PC-use, pool table. Every 1st, 3rd and 4th Saturday of the month there is a buffet lunch. There is use of the kitchen, there are books. So many great things. However, (I have also heard this being the case not only with people with Aspergers but people without too) that people need time to themselves. I would say about 95% of the time, when I come in to the drop-in sart time either at 10am or 2pm, there is likely to be at least one person constantly talking to me, then if that person goes I might only get 5 to 10 minutes to myself before at least another person talks to me constantly. I realise they are probably not trying to upset me but I have mentioned to the staff not exactly these words, but I have said having a lot of people around me at once is VERY stressful. These things I don't think I should have to tolerate as the drop-in is meant to me a place where you can relax! I don't mind talking for a bit, but hours on end and nearly the whole drop-in is EXTREMELY upsetting as it's HIGHLY stressful!

 

[tree]

Is the place in this article the same one you go to
or just another place with the same name?
https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/helping-adults-with-autism-establish-independence.12537/

 

[garnetflower13]

Sorry you are going through that! My guess is that since NTs are running the show, it is hard for them to fathom your needs for alone time. Maybe you won't be able to get that need met there? I once read about a gathering for Aspies; not quite sure where or what the event was, but it had been decided that Aspies and Auties attending this gathering could wear tags or something that were color coded to mean how they were feeling. So if a person didn't feel social, they could wear one color, or if they were feeling talkative they could wear another color, if they didn't want to be touched they could wear still another color, etc. Maybe you could suggest a system like that at the drop in center?

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Is the place in this article the same one you go to
or just another place with the same name?
https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/helping-adults-with-autism-establish-independence.12537/

I go to one of these places, but not in Northern Ireland, but in the UK.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Sorry you are going through that! My guess is that since NTs are running the show, it is hard for them to fathom your needs for alone time. Maybe you won't be able to get that need met there? I once read about a gathering for Aspies; not quite sure where or what the event was, but it had been decided that Aspies and Auties attending this gathering could wear tags or something that were color coded to mean how they were feeling. So if a person didn't feel social, they could wear one color, or if they were feeling talkative they could wear another color, if they didn't want to be touched they could wear still another color, etc. Maybe you could suggest a system like that at the drop in center?

Thanks for your reply. Yes the tags seem like a good idea.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Also, although I know it is said certain service users can't help staring sometimes at another service user I think this can be extremely frustrating, and I struggle to see why they still do this after autism centre staff make them away they are staring. Examples of this are when a certain service user is playing a game with other service users or having a chat with other service users and a person keeps on looking at constantly only one person, what is confusing is why that person is looking/staring at all or why do they not stare at every person why are they just singalling one person out to stare at.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

And in my drop-in it seems like people are obsessed with me or obsessed with me more than some people they are obsessed with, commonly there are individuals talking to me or pacing next to me or watching me or watching what I am doing, I know some or all of it may down to Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder, but sometimes there are a group of up to five looking at me speaking to me or saying nothing, it's like I am a focus not exactly the same as an exhibit but certainly a focus. When there are more of them it's more stressful and I have to escape from them.

 

[Warmheart]

Google "happy to talk wristband" and see if your center will consider these.