Hi. I have just joined this forum. From my reading I don't fit the DSM 5 autism/Aspergers diagnosis but am probably closer to the new Social (pragmatic) Communication Disorder. This post may be a bit long though I will try to avoid a tendency to overdetail..
At 72 years the main value of delving into the area is to understand how my life and relationships have been affected. Also, our adult daughter is currently being assessed for Aspergers and finds life extremely challenging. So I need more understanding of her situation as well as improving my communication with her and my wife.
My wife and daughter have experienced my high lack of empathy, literal interpretation of their statements and endless questions to understand what they mean - my daughter gets quite frustrated.
My intense though varied interests, were often at the expense of family and I still experience noticing that I have become carried away with discussing an interest.
Inapproprite social responses, naivety about others' intentions and insensitivity, have limited my career, though a generous employer in a large government department moved me into areas where I could succeed for example using my fascination with detail in legal stuff.
They used my intellect in large detailed projects and tolerated my overdetailing. I was not invited to some meetigs because I couldn't think politically and often said what I thought. I was not promoted because of my people mangement and organisational skills and I suspect, because of limited narrow thinking where nuance and flexiblity were required.
An early assessment of both my strengths and limitations would have been invaluable to family and career. My wife tells me how she struggled to cope with two of us especially with my lack of empathy, though I shared the continuing challenges of supporting our daughter.
At 34 our daughter needs a fair amount of support. The effort of helping with the strong swings in self esteem, the fear of failure and keeping on track, gaining her potential and having a good life is very stressful and demanding. She has made great progress but we are anxious about whether she will make it in the end and are we providing the right balance giving support and helping her gain independence, for instance, should we help clean up her living space when the floor debris becomes hazardous and we know she can't organise to do this herself (limited executive function).
She might be an Aspie. I don't fit the criteria but share some of the characteristics.
I hope that joining this forum may help in joining some dots and developing perspective.
