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Newly diagnosed, not out yet

M

Magpie

Member
Hello Autism Forums, the site has instructed me to post an introduction as I am new to the community. Im 58 yo and received my ASD diagnosis June 2019, 8ish months ago. Ive been struggling to accept the diagnosis. Some days Im all in other, days I hear “You don’t look autistic!” and doubt the neurodevelopmental psyche eval. Ive joined bc Im sure the diagnosis is correct, yet haven’t come out all the way (about fifteen people know, excluding this forum of course). I feel alone and wanted to be around others with ASD, I prefer condition (ASC) to disorder… when in Rome . If youd like to say ‘hi’ you are most welcome, until then Ill tool around for anecdotes and information. Warmly, Magpie
 
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Welcome! The process of coming out is a tricky one. I’ve been diagnosed some 5 years ago and while I was initially cautious about sharing info, these days I’m out to all my friends and family. I’m generally reserved around coworkers, although I have confided in a few of my peers who I felt were trustworthy. I often hear that I don’t look autistic, to which I respond that this is also what autism looks like.
I am “out” about my bipolar disorder to my manager, because that occasionally hinders my ability to work, but I haven’t shared with her that I have Aspergers because I don’t feel like that has any negative influence on the way I do my job.
 
Welcome Magpie
Have a look around the Forum and you can find lots of stories of people "coming out". Do it your way when you are good and ready. You are among friends here.

Magpie said:
“You don’t look autistic!”
Click to expand...
What is that look? - I don't think I recognise that in myself or in others, but interpreting social signals is one area where I am weak
 
Welcome to the forums. Be careful outing yourself . Sometimes it's like pressing the self destruct button. If 15 people know already, that means at least 90 know by now :p .
“You don’t look autistic!” There is no look of autism, my son is deeply effected, but if you look at his pictures he looks just like a handsome normal boy.
 
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Welcome to Autism Forums! I was 5 years older than you when I got my diagnosis. I was delighted with my diagnosis because it answered so many questions that I had about myself. I do not tell to many people about my diagnosis. They almost certainly will not understand and will think crazy things. So for me, it is a need to know basis only.
 
clg114 said:
Welcome to Autism Forums! I was 5 years older than you when I got my diagnosis. I was delighted with my diagnosis because it answered so many questions that I had about myself. I do not tell to many people about my diagnosis. They almost certainly will not understand and will think crazy things. So for me, it is a need to know basis only.
Click to expand...
Like you Im grateful for my diagnosis, it explains so much. If I come out I worry about being judged or maybe worse, autism may be all someone might see about me. Different reactions from different people likely. Still largely grateful...nice to navigate my diagnosis with others :) Thank you for your rsponse
 
Major Tom said:
Welcome to the forums. Be careful outing yourself . Sometimes it's like pressing the self destruct button. If 15 people know already, that means at least 90 know by now :p .
“You don’t look autistic!” There is no look of autism, my son is deeply effected, but if you look at his pictures he looks just like a handsome normal boy.
Click to expand...
Hello Major Tom, thank you for your reply. I realize there isnt a look to autism, Im not altogether sure what people mean when they say that, Im assuming and in some cases have been told they are expecting Rain man. The first three times I tried to explain and after that decided I wasnt going to waste my time convincing. I know and some really important people know and support me...and now this forum, Im good. :)
 
Alexej said:
Welcome Magpie
Have a look around the Forum and you can find lots of stories of people "coming out". Do it your way when you are good and ready. You are among friends here.


What is that look? - I don't think I recognise that in myself or in others, but interpreting social signals is one area where I am weak
Click to expand...
 
The look...not sure what they are expecting, Ive heard it often enough to be more cautious about saying anything, in another response I said I stopped trying to explain. I also think they are expecting someone more severe
 
Bolletje said:
Welcome! The process of coming out is a tricky one. I’ve been diagnosed some 5 years ago and while I was initially cautious about sharing info, these days I’m out to all my friends and family. I’m generally reserved around coworkers, although I have confided in a few of my peers who I felt were trustworthy. I often hear that I don’t look autistic, to which I respond that this is also what autism looks like.
I am “out” about my bipolar disorder to my manager, because that occasionally hinders my ability to work, but I haven’t shared with her that I have Aspergers because I don’t feel like that has any negative influence on the way I do my job.
Click to expand...
 
Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)
 
"This is also what autism looks like," gosh, thats brilliant and I will say that next time. Thank you. Im careful at work as well. My administrators suspected something was up with me, they told me so. I thought great another f---up in a job. But they love me, I couldnt have asked for more support. I shared with three other coworkers, but no one else. Its a judgmental environment. I really lucked out with my bosses though, Im so grateful they took the time to understand. I may get to where you are one day, for now Im taking it slow. Thank you for your post :)
 
Hi and welcome. Yes, a lot of people don't understand what you mean if you say you have high autistic traits or Aspergers or autism. It isn't usually responded to positively. I m glad it's going well at work, that's unusual I think. It takes time to get used to this aspect of yourself, and there's plenty of useful information and discussion here you may enjoy.

:watermelon::cherries::strawberry::redapple::peach::greenapple::pear::grapes:
 
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