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[NeuroTangential]

I'm a retired engineer/scientist/executive. I'm new to a growing awareness of my own autism. After decades of introspecting about my personality and trying to understand my brain through different typologies, like MBTI, Enneagram, and the like, I ran across a discussion in which someone said people of MBTI INTP are "kind of autistic". I thought that sounded odd because my view of autism had always been of the stereotypes portrayed on TV of children with high needs. But I thought I should investigate.

I read a bit and took a few tests that all said there is a high probability I have level-one autism. After more reading, so many things started to make sense. This was especially interesting as it includes things I've always hated myself for, like demand avoidance, compulsively giving 10-minute dissertations to simple questions, weird irrational panics after suddenly realizing I was hungry, melting down, burning out, and quite a few more things. Other big eye openers were providing an explanation for why I get overloaded and have to hide in corners after just a short while at social events, and why so much of my career has had me working hard to fit in only to be misunderstood by and irritating to other people.

The upshot is that after describing way too much of my life experiences to ChatGPT, it concluded that I am likely a highly-masked, intellectually overclocked autistic adult with strong demand avoidance (PDA), multi-modal cognition, and sensory sensitivities. It sounds and feels correct, so I'm here to learn more.

 

[Rodafina]

...I get overloaded and have to hide in corners after just a short while at social events...

Well that's relatable. I think you've found the right place here among other autistic people. Welcome. I hope you enjoy your time here.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Welcome!

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome.

Same for me. Realizing I ticked all the boxes for high functioning professional woman autist at age 64. All the weird stuff in my life suddenly made sense.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I'm a retired engineer/scientist/executive. I'm new to a growing awareness of my own autism. After decades of introspecting about my personality and trying to understand my brain through different typologies, like MBTI, Enneagram, and the like, I ran across a discussion in which someone said people of MBTI INTP are "kind of autistic". I thought that sounded odd because my view of autism had always been of the stereotypes portrayed on TV of children with high needs. But I thought I should investigate.

I read a bit and took a few tests that all said there is a high probability I have level-one autism. After more reading, so many things started to make sense. This was especially interesting as it includes things I've always hated myself for, like demand avoidance, compulsively giving 10-minute dissertations to simple questions, weird irrational panics after suddenly realizing I was hungry, melting down, burning out, and quite a few more things. Other big eye openers were providing an explanation for why I get overloaded and have to hide in corners after just a short while at social events, and why so much of my career has had me working hard to fit in only to be misunderstood by and irritating to other people.

The upshot is that after describing way too much of my life experiences to ChatGPT, it concluded that I am likely a highly-masked, intellectually overclocked autistic adult with strong demand avoidance (PDA), multi-modal cognition, and sensory sensitivities. It sounds and feels correct, so I'm here to learn more.

As a mentor of mine used to say, "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, has feathers like a duck, a bill like a duck, webbed feet like a duck,...it's probably a duck."

Welcome to the club

 

[Aspychata]

Wow ,you found your tribe. I have learned so much here, gone on an emotional journey that really helped me. And l still continue to learn more and appreciate the others that call this place home -base at times. Welcome.

 

[Outdated]

I'm a retired engineer/scientist/executive. I'm new to a growing awareness of my own autism.

... compulsively giving 10-minute dissertations to simple questions....

This is actually my experience with most engineers, the good ones anyway.
Welcome to the forums.

 

[AuAL]

I'm a retired engineer/scientist/executive. I'm new to a growing awareness of my own autism. After decades of introspecting about my personality and trying to understand my brain through different typologies, like MBTI, Enneagram, and the like, I ran across a discussion in which someone said people of MBTI INTP are "kind of autistic".

The upshot is that after describing way too much of my life experiences to ChatGPT, it concluded that I am likely a highly-masked, intellectually overclocked autistic adult

Retired engineer/scientist, INTP, highly-masked - where have I heard that before? Oh, that’s right, that’s me. And like @WhitewaterWoman, discovered my autism at 64. You will probably find lots of relatable experiences among the kindred folk here. Welcome!

 

[Shamar]

I'm a retired engineer/scientist/executive. I'm new to a growing awareness of my own autism. After decades of introspecting about my personality and trying to understand my brain through different typologies, like MBTI, Enneagram, and the like, I ran across a discussion in which someone said people of MBTI INTP are "kind of autistic". I thought that sounded odd because my view of autism had always been of the stereotypes portrayed on TV of children with high needs. But I thought I should investigate.

I read a bit and took a few tests that all said there is a high probability I have level-one autism. After more reading, so many things started to make sense. This was especially interesting as it includes things I've always hated myself for, like demand avoidance, compulsively giving 10-minute dissertations to simple questions, weird irrational panics after suddenly realizing I was hungry, melting down, burning out, and quite a few more things. Other big eye openers were providing an explanation for why I get overloaded and have to hide in corners after just a short while at social events, and why so much of my career has had me working hard to fit in only to be misunderstood by and irritating to other people.

The upshot is that after describing way too much of my life experiences to ChatGPT, it concluded that I am likely a highly-masked, intellectually overclocked autistic adult with strong demand avoidance (PDA), multi-modal cognition, and sensory sensitivities. It sounds and feels correct, so I'm here to learn more.

You ought to fit right in. I can give a lecture about how electricity flows through the ground, and have most of the audience suicidal from boredom in 5-10 minutes. One person told me "If you are not an electrical geophysicist, that lecture can be considered a violation of the Geneva Convention."

 

[Richelle-H]

Welcome @NeuroTangential!

I am retired 8 years now. In my working life I was an electronics engineer, a sometime bench tech, and as I moved forward I taught myself programming from the ground up (i.e. Machine code first [for multiple processors], then assembly for multiple platforms, even wrote my own machine code and compiler for my own ASM language, then taught myself C and C++), when I found out I could make more money as a programmer, my last 20 years were spent working for CCH Inc (Commerce Clearing House you can google it if curious), which was acquired by a Dutch publishing company well before my retirement.

I masked a great deal in my teens and twenties, but worked my way out of any need to mask by the time I was in my 40s. I reached and age where it no longer mattered to me what others thought. Maybe marriage helped, but in ways that released a lot of internalization and I just started to be who I always was under all the masking. Even with the masking, the way I spoke and my lack of eye contact earned me descriptive terms such as weird or strange.

Anyway enough of that. Clearly, I empathize with a good deal of what you wrote. I spent my first two years here logging in almost every day, but as I approach my 4 yr. anniversary, I continue to check the forum's new topics every day but log in only if a post spurs me to do so.

I think you have found your clan here. I hope you stick around for a bit and check out just how much information is here. I was officially diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome in the tag end of the eighties or early nineties (I am terrible with dates unless something about them causes me to ruminate on them and my diagnosis came about in order to please someone else, as by that time I was firmly myself with no regrets and no problems).

As you might have noticed, I too have a tendency to go on and on and on and on....

SO, I will stop now and express the wish that you find this safe haven as helpful as I have.

 

[Alexej]

HI and welcome to the Forums @NeuroTangential
Sounds like you will fit in well here.

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard

 

[Shevek]

Hi. Another retired engineer here. When I was 56, I was trying to help my sister understand our mother, and ran across a list of thirteen characteristics of Autism. In one minute, I finally understood both our lives. A few years later, I was on a listserv with a business-owning family man, and suggested he might be an Aspie too. Amazed, he agreed. Do you know anything about how to get through to other engineers who are stuck doing things badly? Working prototypes seem to just mystify them.

 

[AuAL]

Do you know anything about how to get through to other engineers who are stuck doing things badly?

I think many of us were doing (some) things very well. (When, in retrospect, I consider the impact of my career on my family, well, read on.) For me, it took reaching a severe, life-endangering crisis that dragged me to seeking help that finally delivered my epiphany. I now strive, however feebly, to live my best self, with my family as a key focus. I am not convinced you can convince others about this until they have experienced some of the negative consequences. Being available as a supportive friend when doubt enters their minds is perhaps all we can do.

 

[Shevek]

I think many of us were doing (some) things very well. (When, in retrospect, I consider the impact of my career on my family, well, read on.) For me, it took reaching a severe, life-endangering crisis that dragged me to seeking help that finally delivered my epiphany. I now strive, however feebly, to live my best self, with my family as a key focus. I am not convinced you can convince others about this until they have experienced some of the negative consequences. Being available as a supportive friend when doubt enters their minds is perhaps all we can do.

Thanks, but I was asking about technical communications. Maybe someone is paying extra for a curved part where a straight one would actually be better. I see systems where others see only parts, and the logical reasons for making changes are clear to me, but seem to get tangled up in emotional concerns with others. There seems to be a great reluctance to admit folly, especially if it is a long tradition. Frustration over such things finally gave me my own emotional crisis. Now I feel somewhat "locked in" - able to think, but not to communicate.

 

[AuAL]

Thanks, but I was asking about technical communications.

There seems to be a great reluctance to admit folly, especially if it is a long tradition.

Sorry, I didn’t catch on to the angle you were approaching.

I don’t know if it is a self-selecting propensity to perfectionism among engineers, or whether the profession encourages it. When we make mistakes, people might die. (There is a section of the Westgate Bridge on the lawns at the Engineering faculty at Monash University in Melbourne - a massive steel structure crumpled like cardboard, due to engineering failures.) This can make it very difficult to take the bold decision to diverge from a proven “solution”. Not sure if this relates to what you were addressing.

 

[Shevek]

Sorry, I didn’t catch on to the angle you were approaching.

I don’t know if it is a self-selecting propensity to perfectionism among engineers, or whether the profession encourages it. When we make mistakes, people might die. (There is a section of the Westgate Bridge on the lawns at the Engineering faculty at Monash University in Melbourne - a massive steel structure crumpled like cardboard, due to engineering failures.) This can make it very difficult to take the bold decision to diverge from a proven “solution”. Not sure if this relates to what you were addressing.

Aye, people are willing to face greater risk overall if it does not include structural failure according to J.E. Gordon. They are also prone to sue over the failure of a novel device if it harms people in a new way while keeping them safe from a dozen old-style accidents. I shied away from those conflicts, but still get stonewalled over simple, proven fuel savers based on well known engineering. This puts the whole planet in peril. Many of our modern products were invented several times before they started to catch on. Maybe most people who claim to be rational are just rationalizing badly and following the flock.