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New here & seeking understanding

thereseg79

New Member
Hi all. I"m self diagnosed & not really sure how to go about making it official. I'm 43 yrs old & have just realized this year this may have been what"s wrong with me. Growing up I did well in academics but my social skills were not very good. I may have had one close friend & its always been that way. I just want to connect with other people who don't quite fit in but outwardly by appearances don't look like they are different.

Why I think I have autism is really my social skills, not being able to empathize normally, its a lot of different things but on top of this epiphany I have Multiple Sclerosis & I self diagnosed myself there too until it was confirmed in 07' by a neurologist & MRI's. Im married with 3 adult children but looking back I should have never had kids because I don't think I did a grown ups job in raising them. But, yeah, hi all. That"s a little bit of my story.
 

WhitewaterWoman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Welcome. Most of us don't fit in to the "normal" world. I certainly don't.

I am self-diagnosed, at age 64, when I started reading about how autism expresses itself in professional women.
 

Nitro

Admin/Immoral Turpitude
Staff member
Admin
V.I.P Member
welcome to af.png
 

Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
In coming to this particular place I'd say you have truly begun your quest to determine who- and what you are in earnest. An excellent place to explore the possibilities/probabilities through directly interacting with those who may be perceived as "your own kind".

A quest I began more than eleven years ago, at the age of 55. So as others will attest to, it's never to late to learn.

Welcome to AF.
 

Ken

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Welcome to the forum!!

I self diagnosed at the age of 67. As far as I'm concerned, my diagnosis is absolutely official. For example, if you fall and experience extreme pain in your leg then see that you leg is bent halfway between your ankle and knee; you don't need a medical authority to diagnose that you have a broken leg. It is just too obvious. After learning what autism is, it was as obvious as a broken leg to me. And officially, I don't feel I really need to prove anything to anyone.
 

thereseg79

New Member
Welcome to the forum!!

I self diagnosed at the age of 67. As far as I'm concerned, my diagnosis is absolutely official. For example, if you fall and experience extreme pain in your leg then see that you leg is bent halfway between your ankle and knee; you don't need a medical authority to diagnose that you have a broken leg. It is just too obvious. After learning what autism is, it was as obvious as a broken leg to me. And officially, I don't feel I really need to prove anything to anyone.
Thank you Ken for your response & your analogy
 

thereseg79

New Member
I'm married. My husband & I have been together since I was 18. It would be nice to have an official diagnosis because it possibly could help him understand why I'm the way I am. I don't know if it'll make a difference in our relationship but maybe it will.
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi and welcome. Hard to say if this would help your relationship dynamics, I would guess that will depend on what you and he know and understand about ASD1/Aspergers. I self diagnosed, in my 50s. Like @Ken I would say it certainly helped me to understand myself better. And I have been able to explain it quite well to my partner, who in any case is quite open minded and non judgemental. I think they found it useful to know.
 

thereseg79

New Member
Hi and welcome. Hard to say if this would help your relationship dynamics, I would guess that will depend on what you and he know and understand about ASD1/Aspergers. I self diagnosed, in my 50s. Like @Ken I would say it certainly helped me to understand myself better. And I have been able to explain it quite well to my partner, who in any case is quite open minded and non judgemental. I think they found it useful to know.
 

Richelle-H

Relaxed Relativity Inspector
V.I.P Member
Welcome @thereseg79,

A relationship between someone on the spectrum and a partner who is not requires an adjustment on both sides. Tragically, women seem to be forced to make the greater adjustments, ASD or not.

Having been married for 38 years marching towards 39, I can say my relationship is anything but normal, but we are still together although one or the other of us has discussed divorce, for economic reasons, from time to time.

My sympathies for having to deal with physical impairments and kids. At well past 76, I can relate to some of what you must go through minus the children

I must assume, because you say you suspect that you are on the spectrum, that you must have done some research and taken some of the readily accessible on line assessment tests. If not, it might be instructive to do so and they do not cost you anything except a bit of your time.

You seem a bit reticent to talk about why you think you are on the spectrum. I was blissfully unaware until around your age and I only sought a diagnosis because someone I knew well suggested that I had Asperger's.

Anyway, enough about me. This place is wonderful and can provide resources and understanding, even if you only suspect that you are on the spectrum. Take your time and explore. It can be quite therapeutic.

Again, a warm hug of welcome.
 

VictorR

Random Member
V.I.P Member
Welcome! Does your partner seem open to discussion? If they are, perhaps talking it out (or gradually over time) might help with finding ways to improve your relationship and minimize misunderstandings without necessarily having to spend the time and money on a formal diagnosis. There's lots of online resources available.
 

thereseg79

New Member
Welcome @thereseg79,

A relationship between someone on the spectrum and a partner who is not requires an adjustment on both sides. Tragically, women seem to be forced to make the greater adjustments, ASD or not.

Having been married for 38 years marching towards 39, I can say my relationship is anything but normal, but we are still together although one or the other of us has discussed divorce, for economic reasons, from time to time.

My sympathies for having to deal with physical impairments and kids. At well past 76, I can relate to some of what you must go through minus the children

I must assume, because you say you suspect that you are on the spectrum, that you must have done some research and taken some of the readily accessible on line assessment tests. If not, it might be instructive to do so and they do not cost you anything except a bit of your time.

You seem a bit reticent to talk about why you think you are on the spectrum. I was blissfully unaware until around your age and I only sought a diagnosis because someone I knew well suggested that I had Asperger's.

Anyway, enough about me. This place is wonderful and can provide resources and understanding, even if you only suspect that you are on the spectrum. Take your time and explore. It can be quite therapeutic.

Again, a warm hug of welcome.
Thank you for your
 

thereseg79

New Member
Im using the internet on my phone as I do mot currently have a cpu or laptop in the hoyse & its very fustrating with all these ads because I can't see what I've typed to see if I need to make corrections but regardless I can't remember why exactly it dawned on this year that I might be on the soectrum but knowing that it may be the reason behind my akwardness & bad social skills, aling with the inability to recognize social cues or not being gery good at empathizing its frustrating. I will go online to do an assesment. I believe my husband will feel like Im using it as an excuse, he has his own health problems & issues that I dont want to expand upon so Im not talking about hin. That has been one of oyr maritial issues but thinki g about it all, even though Im the age I am its like Ive behaved like a teenager for so ling, instead of being a responible adult and parent I was more lije trying ti be friends with my kuds and discussing situatiobs with then yhat a responsible adukt wouls hace known better than. On top of this rwalization I hace MS which doesnt physically affect me as it does some. My daughter who is 22 was diagnosed with it at 16 & it is currently effecting her physically. My relationships with my kids is a whole different discussion. She has a daughter so Im a grandmother. But back to having asperbergers It will helo me to understand myself better & hopefully I can be more mature & recognize if I need to address situations differently. And its a big helo to see others who didnt kbow until laer in life that this may be their situatiin. I apologize for all the mistakes the the bldy of the paragraph & thank you all who have welcomed me & pisted on this thread.
 

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