My obsession with being special, powerful, and superior

[Jason Bennett]

Often, someone who is insisting on being more special and superior to others, comes from unmet childhood needs. People create "false selfs" to make up for unmet needs and weaknesses they have. Magical and mystical thinking are bi-products of a person not feeling loved, acceptable, and worthy. Imaginary thoughts, which lead to actions, play out in our relationships, and they get exposed when we expect things from those around us that are unreasonable and scripted (only in our minds).

 

[Fino]

Ironically, those pathologizing it are likely doing it as a means of feeling superior to you, and I'm likely saying this as a means of feeling superior to them. Because that's how humans operate.

 

[Rasputin]

I am going to take a shot at responding to this post. It is possible for one to be gifted and at the same time highly motivated to accomplish almost any goal. You might even get an Adrenalin rush after accomplishing your goals. That doesn't mean you are better than everyone else though. What it could mean is that you may have grown up in poor circumstances and were / are highly motivated to overcome obstacles. There has to be something driving you to work so hard to be better than everyone else. The problem, however, is that no matter how skilled you become you still crave recognition and validation of your "superiority". As others have commented, you may become more alienated as you may be viewed as self-centered or a threat to others.

Most of what I just wrote describes me, growing up. When I was younger I felt as though I had no limitations, as arrogant as that sounds. Despite my determination, I had difficulty landing jobs and never have reached my potential intellectually. Had I been more humble and worked as hard to be likable, perhaps I would have come closer to reaching my potential. Eventually, through hard knocks you may gain maturity.

 

[Misery]

Ironically, those pathologizing it are likely doing it as a means of feeling superior to you, and I'm likely saying this as a means of feeling superior to them. Because that's how humans operate.

Aaaaaaaand this is where I lose track of what's going on.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

So I noticed that I have become quite obsessed with being special, powerful, and better than other people. To be more precise, I enjoy being different from other "normal people". For example I love being an Aspie, because that means I'm not like the others. Sometimes I even want people to know what strange things I do and what weird thoughts I have. It actually annoys me, when I'm told "Yeah most people do that too" or "A lot of people are like you".
Moreover, I crave power. Not wealth or political power (I actually despise them), but raw power like strength, speed, endurance, fighting techniques, or in my daydreams, superpower. It's actually what motivates to go to the gym and attend MMA training.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, that I also strive to be better or superior to others. I read, study, practice and train, so that I could excel in as many ways as possible (as least in the fields I care), be it vision, knowledge in medicine, drawing techniques, time management, or even wisdom (Kinda ironic, I know).

I do not understand why I have these desires. To my knowledge, these are psychological traits of someone with low self-esteem or low-achieving, but I already perform quite well in school and are considered special and talented by many people around me. I don't see this as something completely negative though, for it drives me to be better everyday as well. Please let me know what you think or even some psychoanalysis. Could it mean I'm still too immature and keep the ego of a teenager? Is it the result of some lack of affection or attention in childhood?

Sometimes it due to lack of self-esteem. But it seems that your self-esteem is quite high.
I think it's ok, as long as you use it for positivity, and as long as you be careful to not brag too much - or else it might be narcissistic/annoying. Maybe you can go to a gathering/conference/event with like-minded people (in the fields you explore) if you want to share how much wisdom etc you have.

 

[Professori]

So I noticed that I have become quite obsessed with being special, powerful, and better than other people. To be more precise, I enjoy being different from other "normal people". For example I love being an Aspie, because that means I'm not like the others. Sometimes I even want people to know what strange things I do and what weird thoughts I have. It actually annoys me, when I'm told "Yeah most people do that too" or "A lot of people are like you".
Moreover, I crave power. Not wealth or political power (I actually despise them), but raw power like strength, speed, endurance, fighting techniques, or in my daydreams, superpower. It's actually what motivates to go to the gym and attend MMA training.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, that I also strive to be better or superior to others. I read, study, practice and train, so that I could excel in as many ways as possible (as least in the fields I care), be it vision, knowledge in medicine, drawing techniques, time management, or even wisdom (Kinda ironic, I know).

I do not understand why I have these desires. To my knowledge, these are psychological traits of someone with low self-esteem or low-achieving, but I already perform quite well in school and are considered special and talented by many people around me. I don't see this as something completely negative though, for it drives me to be better everyday as well. Please let me know what you think or even some psychoanalysis. Could it mean I'm still too immature and keep the ego of a teenager? Is it the result of some lack of affection or attention in childhood?

Seems like narcissism to me .
Most people want to impress others, and so focus on being better in one way or another. That’s what gains acceptance and affirmation from others. Fact is that everyone has a desperate need to be accepted, to fit in one way or another, and being ‘better’ gains status in the group, and thus deeper acceptance. Probably because people tend to be shallow and don’t focus on the person as a being.
Without acceptance and affirmation we tend to lapse into low self-esteem and low self-worth. Unless one doesn’t care about others of course, and then that is psychologically questionable.
However, if you are only interested in pleasing yourself, focusing on yourself through various feats of superiority, then that is likely to fall somewhere within the category of narcissism. To gain balance in life is a very difficult matter, given that there is no ‘normal’, and so it is difficult to gauge what one measures oneself against in society. So, ultimately, one measures oneself against oneself; thus, narcissism .

 

[Judge]

Perhaps the original post is actually a veiled cry for help. Given how such thoughts of superiority often later manifest themselves into acts that inevitably become disastrous for them and everyone around them.

Where all roads lead to destinations such as Nuremberg- or San Quentin. Places no one wants to be, regardless of how superior they may envision themselves.

 

[onlything]

Sounds like a teenage me, maybe with a bit of a fixed mindset thrown in as well. Check it out, maybe you'll find yourself.

I think the big question is one: why are you doing it? Are you working hard to be better and improve yourself? Or to become better than others?

The first one is fine and should stay productive and useful. The second one will sooner or later probably cause you frustration or even make you depressed - because there are always those better than us in everything we do. In the long run, it may be better for your own mental health and happiness to focus on joy sparked through the process of improving instead of the satisfaction brought due to being superior to someone.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Perhaps the original post is actually a veiled cry for help. Given how such thoughts of superiority often later manifest themselves into acts that inevitably become disastrous for them and everyone around them.

Where all roads lead to destinations such as Nuremberg- or San Quentin. Places no one wants to be, regardless of how superior they may envision themselves.

Mind you, Rudolf Hess had a good thing going on for a while.

A prison to himself.

 

[Judge]

Mind you, Rudolf Hess had a good thing going on for a while.

A prison to himself.

The strange tale of Rudolf Hess...

I'm not convinced the man in Spandau was Rudolf Hess. That he was murdered in 1941 while in British custody most likely by Soviet agents of the NKVD or perhaps by the British themselves. My favorite conspiracy theory.

Something I inherited from my Russian History professor in the 70s. While given exclusive access to some of Britain's archives, he came across information related to this issue and was briskly escorted out never to return. Evidently the British government was mighty sensitive to this issue...and probably still is. Equally it wouldn't serve the Russians diplomatically to come forward about what they know as well.

And that whoever took Hess' place in prison was murdered presumably by the SAS, as the man was apparently on the verge of talking about who he actually was. That his death was not a suicide.

 

[GadAbout]

The strange tale of Rudolf Hess...

I'm not convinced the man in Spandau was Rudolf Hess. That he was murdered in 1941 while in British custody most likely by Soviet agents of the NKVD or perhaps by the British themselves. My favorite conspiracy theory.

Something I inherited from my Russian History professor in the 70s. While given exclusive access to some of Britain's archives, he came across information related to this issue and was briskly escorted out never to return. Evidently the British government was mighty sensitive to this issue...and probably still is. Equally it wouldn't serve the Russians diplomatically to come forward about what they know as well.

And that whoever took Hess' place in prison was murdered presumably by the SAS, as the man was apparently on the verge of talking about who he actually was. That his death was not a suicide.

Way to derail a thread, Judge!!

Great story all the same.

 

[Noelle]

So I noticed that I have become quite obsessed with being special, powerful, and better than other people. To be more precise, I enjoy being different from other "normal people". For example I love being an Aspie, because that means I'm not like the others. Sometimes I even want people to know what strange things I do and what weird thoughts I have. It actually annoys me, when I'm told "Yeah most people do that too" or "A lot of people are like you".
Moreover, I crave power. Not wealth or political power (I actually despise them), but raw power like strength, speed, endurance, fighting techniques, or in my daydreams, superpower. It's actually what motivates to go to the gym and attend MMA training.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, that I also strive to be better or superior to others. I read, study, practice and train, so that I could excel in as many ways as possible (as least in the fields I care), be it vision, knowledge in medicine, drawing techniques, time management, or even wisdom (Kinda ironic, I know).

I do not understand why I have these desires. To my knowledge, these are psychological traits of someone with low self-esteem or low-achieving, but I already perform quite well in school and are considered special and talented by many people around me. I don't see this as something completely negative though, for it drives me to be better everyday as well. Please let me know what you think or even some psychoanalysis. Could it mean I'm still too immature and keep the ego of a teenager? Is it the result of some lack of affection or attention in childhood?

I have the same thoughts, and I'm a good bit older than you. I think good on you for feeling special and powerful, but we have to draw the line at superior. This gets too close to identitarian ideology, and that is a rabbit hole that none of us should be getting anywhere near.