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My kid’s meltdown

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Sabrina, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    After a thread posted by @Voltaic, where he asked if people in this forum loved themselves, I wrote a blog post saying that my main goal as a mom was to love my kids and teach them to love themselves.

    Two days later, my seven-year old son spent like an hour screaming, pacing around with his fists closed, throwing away his glasses over and over, and kicking every furniture in the house. He yelled about everything that he hated: “I hate this world! I want to destroy it all and build it back again! The rules are wrong! I hate everything I hate this house! I hate my school! I hate my house! I hate my life!”
    I just stood there watching him, and a couple of times I held him tight (hugging him, not him hugging back). My eyes got a bit watery, but I didn’t cry. When he had calmed down a little, I cuddled him for a while in the couch without saying anything. Then he went on playing video games as if nothing had happened.

    My husband and I separated a month ago. I think the meltdown was because of that (although he didn’t mention it while screaming).

    I’ve tried to talk to him about it afterwards, asking what he would like to be different about the world and his life, and he said that it was all fault of “the presidents”.
    Comments?
     
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  2. Beguiling Orbit

    Beguiling Orbit Neurotribe Champion V.I.P Member

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    Sorry you're going through a rough time. I'm glad he has you as a mother, though.
     
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  3. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT, INFJ V.I.P Member

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    Had to laugh a little because I agree with him about "the presidents". But suspect you are right when you surmise that it was about the marital breakup. Sounds like you dealt with it really well.
     
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  4. WittyAspie

    WittyAspie The One And Only V.I.P Member

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    When I was younger my depression was expressed through bouts of rage. I would stomp around, kick/hit walls, slam doors, scream at the top of my lungs. I don’t know if a seven year old can be considered depressed, but his actions take me back to fifth grade when I was ready for it all to be over.

    I hope that does not scare you. You did the right thing is dealing with him. The family situation is rough on everyone. Some time with a counselor may help him adjust to his new normal.
     
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  5. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Haven't felt like that for long time ,I think for me mainly it was my mother having a relationship with a man !so our relationship had changed ! and not being able to socialise .
     
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  6. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    And that is the difference between a meltdown and tantrum!

    I could quite easily throw things and damage things, but the worst is banging to door hard and then, squeezing my hands and well, a few choice words and the best thing is to be left on my own to calm down.
     
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  7. Gritches

    Gritches The Happy Dog V.I.P Member

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    He's lucky to have you as a mother. You handled it very well, letting him have his meltdown instead of trying to stop it, and by showing him in more ways than one that you care. I don't know firsthand what the divorce of parents is like, but I hear it's hard on the kids. All I can offer are words of encouragement that your efforts will make all the difference in the world.
     
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  8. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Has he overheard something upsetting?

    There's his own logic in all of that somewhere.

    Rules, presidents, wanting to destroy the world and then build it back again.?
    (He doesn't just want to destroy it in anger or frustration, he also wants to rebuild it again, his way)

    Is there something out of his control?
     
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  9. Sabrina

    Sabrina Gentle & brave earthling

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    Being a kid, a lot of things are out of his control, but the one that I can think about is the separation.
    Approximately two years ago I had a meltdown when I screamed a lot about the government of the country where we were living and its rules. It’s the only thing I can think of (we don’t live there anymore). It did cross my mind that he was imitating me when he said that.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2017
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  10. WittyAspie

    WittyAspie The One And Only V.I.P Member

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    Things said in anger often don’t make sense, but the thoughts must come from somewhere. It’s likely he made illogical connections between stressors during his fit of anger.
     
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  11. Ragnahawk

    Ragnahawk Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I can relate to the kid, he just has a different personality type.
     
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