My job forces me into uncomfortable situations!!!

[Dan Dan]

I am a builder/stonemason and I love my job. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. But it often forces me into uncomfortable social situations. I work for a large company so I'm frequently sent out in large teams of people and I struggle to cope around people.

I try so hard to fit in and be part of the team that I've been told I come across as weird, odd and strange. It feels like every day I'm in a play and everyone is watching and judging my performance.

I struggle joining in on conversations and when they are all fat bald men those conversations usually involve women and sex. A topic that I am especially uncomfortable with. I've started eating my lunch on my own because of the levels of conversation during break, but this is making me out to be even more weird.

Does anyone else have problems with work?

 

[FreeDiver]

Every job I've gotten in the past had ended in disaster. Not because I can't do it and do it well. It's because of the social problems. Social problems are the only reason I've gotten fired from every job.

It feels like every day im in a play and everyone is watching and judging my performance.

Being in "Theatrical mode" start to take a toll on you after a while. You can only be a chameleon and wear the mask for so long before you get tired and burn out. It's unnatural and you're always on full alert.

 

[Suzanne]

The only work I did that I felt ok doing, was when I cleaned a bank each morning. Only one person would come in, to put back the sack from the night before and I would generally try to be somewhere else in the building, just so I did not have to make conversation ( not that I was obliged to, but it felt that way).

I also cleaned holiday homes and enjoyed that, because I was on my own and very minimal contact with others.

Never been called weird; just felt weird and awkward and just a sense of: I am a nobody, which I wish I would just accept, but find it soul destroying and I suppose it is because I WANT to be around my own species.

 

[Starfire]

I work in construction too and I understand exactly what you're saying. Perhaps you could try not putting so much effort into fitting in if that's why your workmates consider you "weird, odd and strange", maybe you're trying too hard.

I sit by myself too at break times and when asked why, I always said I had phone calls to make, emails to send or that I would rather sit somewhere comfortable (my van) than on a bag of plaster. Eventually they get bored asking and just accept it.

I have to suffer the football, sex, etc nonsense too so I always have a newspaper, book, or something on my phone to be engaged in or hide behind. I struggle to contribute to conversation and so play with my phone until asked what I think. I usually reply something like "doesn't bother me either way" and go back to reading.

Construction has always had loners on the periphery of every squad and I've always found that if I don't engage or force myself to try to, people accept it after a while and I don't get any hassle.

 

[Starfire]

Well that's a good ice breaker for you, literally!