Glytch
Well-Known Member
My love life has always been awful. I've had a total of four romantic train wrecks over the years (and no, I don't mean a train crashed while I was on a date).
First was in seventh grade. I'm not sure why, but this girl had a crush on me, and I didn't feel the same way. I didn't handle that well, and she ended up hating me for a brief period of time. Now, we're pretty good friends, so that kinda turned out okay.
Second was my freshman year. I had a crush on a girl in my class named Emma (my first crush). Imagine my surprise when she told me that she already knew about it! Flash forward a few months... She got mad at me for putting notes in her locker, we got into a fight, and things escalated really quickly. (This next part is one of my biggest regrets.) I snapped at one point and I told her to, and I quote, "go choke on a rock." It was the worst thing I had ever said to someone, and to this day, I have no idea where it came from. I immediately regretted it. After that, things got quieter. I asked if we could just never speak of this again, and she said, and I quote, "as long as you don't talk to me again." And that was that. I stuck to that, too. For the next two years, I didn't utter a single word to Emma. Then, last year, she started talking to me again, about some stories I was writing! I think she either forgave me or forgot it happened. Unfortunately, I was cursed with a vivid memory, so I can't forget it.
Third was about a year or two ago. Another girl had a crush on me (again, why?), but I didn't feel the same way. Once again, I handled it poorly, she hated me for a while, and now we're good friends. (And thanks to a friend of hers stealing my number from her phone, I met my best friend, so... Yeah.)
The fourth was the most recent, and definitely the most painful. So, I met this girl named Amanda through my best friend. We talked by text for a while. I told her about my Asperger's Syndrome, and she seemed totally okay with it. We met in person at an Arts and Science Museum, and we talked and laughed at the food art and corny dinosaur planetarium show. After that, things picked up a little. We got close really quickly, and, a few weeks ago, we started dating. This was my first relationship, and I was happier than I had been in a long time. Before that, I had started feeling kinda hopeless, but that changed that. For once, I didn't feel like a lost cause... That didn't last long. A few weeks ago... Amanda broke up with me. By text. She tried to let me down gently, playing the "still be friends" card... but that didn't make it any less painful. Thankfully, it happened on a Friday after school, so I had the weekend to kinda recover. Also, I have good friends to support me, as well as my writing.
Then, this past Friday, we got into a fight. She was mad at me because I kept bringing up the breakup. I just wanted to understand why she really broke up with me, because she never actually really gave me a reason, even when I specifically asked for one. The things she said... I had never seen this side of her... and I didn't like it. The last thing I said to her was "I thought you understood... I was clearly mistaken."
And that was that. We are no longer on speaking terms. Maybe, in a few years, she'll forgive or forget, and we can be friends again. (But right now, I doubt it...)
So, that's my series of unfortunate events. I never seem to do it correctly. I'm 17, have yet to so much as HOLD HANDS with a girl (which I almost did with Amanda), and I have four train wrecks on my history. Any chance I could get some advice? The last thing I need is for that list to get any longer.
First was in seventh grade. I'm not sure why, but this girl had a crush on me, and I didn't feel the same way. I didn't handle that well, and she ended up hating me for a brief period of time. Now, we're pretty good friends, so that kinda turned out okay.
Second was my freshman year. I had a crush on a girl in my class named Emma (my first crush). Imagine my surprise when she told me that she already knew about it! Flash forward a few months... She got mad at me for putting notes in her locker, we got into a fight, and things escalated really quickly. (This next part is one of my biggest regrets.) I snapped at one point and I told her to, and I quote, "go choke on a rock." It was the worst thing I had ever said to someone, and to this day, I have no idea where it came from. I immediately regretted it. After that, things got quieter. I asked if we could just never speak of this again, and she said, and I quote, "as long as you don't talk to me again." And that was that. I stuck to that, too. For the next two years, I didn't utter a single word to Emma. Then, last year, she started talking to me again, about some stories I was writing! I think she either forgave me or forgot it happened. Unfortunately, I was cursed with a vivid memory, so I can't forget it.
Third was about a year or two ago. Another girl had a crush on me (again, why?), but I didn't feel the same way. Once again, I handled it poorly, she hated me for a while, and now we're good friends. (And thanks to a friend of hers stealing my number from her phone, I met my best friend, so... Yeah.)
The fourth was the most recent, and definitely the most painful. So, I met this girl named Amanda through my best friend. We talked by text for a while. I told her about my Asperger's Syndrome, and she seemed totally okay with it. We met in person at an Arts and Science Museum, and we talked and laughed at the food art and corny dinosaur planetarium show. After that, things picked up a little. We got close really quickly, and, a few weeks ago, we started dating. This was my first relationship, and I was happier than I had been in a long time. Before that, I had started feeling kinda hopeless, but that changed that. For once, I didn't feel like a lost cause... That didn't last long. A few weeks ago... Amanda broke up with me. By text. She tried to let me down gently, playing the "still be friends" card... but that didn't make it any less painful. Thankfully, it happened on a Friday after school, so I had the weekend to kinda recover. Also, I have good friends to support me, as well as my writing.
Then, this past Friday, we got into a fight. She was mad at me because I kept bringing up the breakup. I just wanted to understand why she really broke up with me, because she never actually really gave me a reason, even when I specifically asked for one. The things she said... I had never seen this side of her... and I didn't like it. The last thing I said to her was "I thought you understood... I was clearly mistaken."
And that was that. We are no longer on speaking terms. Maybe, in a few years, she'll forgive or forget, and we can be friends again. (But right now, I doubt it...)
So, that's my series of unfortunate events. I never seem to do it correctly. I'm 17, have yet to so much as HOLD HANDS with a girl (which I almost did with Amanda), and I have four train wrecks on my history. Any chance I could get some advice? The last thing I need is for that list to get any longer.