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My daughter

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phil1980

Member
Hey everyone,

So a few weeks ago I got a new job. It pays so much better and the health\vision\dental insurance in absolutely amazing for my entire family since I am the sole provider. It's always been hard for me having Aspergers and I am hoping that I can find a new Dr. that can help me. But today my daughter pushed me way over the edge. She has Adhd and sensory processing disorder (what a combo, I know), she constantly through tantrum after tantrum, threw things at her siblings, even climbed up on her dresser and ended up falling off. I tried holding down while getting her to explain what was going on and after loosing privilege after privilege she said missed the old place.
I tried to explain that we all miss the old place but that was actually better for everyone, even using diapers (my youngest is still in them) to explain how much I made I where I was and how much I made now.
I thought she understood because she seemed to calm down but by the end of the day we we were back at square one. I guess I am looking for some help. I am isolating myself because it is too much for me and I don't know what else to do. My wife and have taken away her trip to the library which she was looking forward to and that seems to have made no impact.

Father in need of help!
Phil
 
Hi Phil, welcome. It's understating it, that your daughter sounds like a handful. She sounds like I was as a child, although I don't remember throwing tantrums. I have ADHD and processing disorders, one of the things that my father did was something that worked well.
He would take me somewhere, just he an I, walking, hiking, running, playing with a ball, cycling, anything to get me to ramp down the constant energy. In other words, he would tire me out, but the added bonus was that I got to spend time with just him alone, which made me feel special. After that I was able to pay attention.
 
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ADHD can be a tough one to live with for everyone. I was at the receiving end of blows from my brother who has ADHD growing up. I remember the absolute hell it was at times, he'd completely overact to situations and would hurt me if I did something wrong. Somehow we all got through those days.

I don't have too much advice to be honest. This might be something better suited for a forum that specialises in ADHD.

I suppose what I can suggest though is to look at the troubles she has with her senses and try to accommodate for them first. If it's problems with loud noises try getting her noise cancelling headphones. One thing that might help is a pressured vest which are helpful for people with ADHD, SPD, AS, Tourette's - the whole lot. The one I've got is called a Squease Vest and that helps with anxiety. They're supposedly good for people who have other problems like anger. They are expensive though but you can hire one to see if it works or not.
 
Welcome, Phil 1980.
It sounds like your daughter might be autistic spectrum. She is exhibiting what I like to call "Steel trap" thinking.
If you've been around autistics, you know we have a mind like a steel trap. That's good for remembering things. The down side to that is: have you ever tried to take something out of a steel trap? Honestly, I haven't, but I'd imagine it's hard.
It was in your daughter's mind that she could stay at the old place. You can't just spring unexpected changes like that on aspies. I don't think that taking away privileges will help the situation. In fact, it will hurt it because more and more things are being taken out of the steel trap. She needs hugs and to be not out in the real world. Just let her adjust and keep her from hurting herself.
 
Mia said:
Hi Phil, welcome. It's understating it, that your daughter sounds like a handful. She sounds like I was as a child, although I don't remember throwing tantrums. I have ADHD and processing disorders, one of the things that my father did was something that worked well.
He would take me somewhere, just he an I, walking, hiking, running, playing with a ball, cycling, anything to get me to ramp down the constant energy. In other words, he would tire me out, but the added bonus was that I got to spend time with just him alone, which made me feel special. After that I was able to pay attention.
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Hello Phil,
I didn't chime in at the time, because I really had no clue on what to do, but I completely understand the frustration!
I hope ALL is well now and that your precious little one got a little more used to the new environment!
 
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